Met a girl in my social circle and we've hung out socially a few times. A couple weeks ago I asked her to get a drink the following week and she said yes and handed over her number. Then she got really busy and the holiday hit so we never connected. I waited until the next time I saw her at a social event to contact her and we picked up where we left off. Unfortunately there has not been very much flirting, but she's a bit reserved and "good girl." I validated myself to her friend a lot that night and I could tell the HB was appreciating it. I decide to bring up how I never heard back from her and she suggested we get coffee the next week.

I text her to set it up after a couple days and we have this very fun, semi-flirty text exchange. Then we meet for coffee and it was great. She kept extending it by ordering food and then dessert. She always reengaged the conversation when we hit small lulls, I let her talk and she opened up a lot. My biggest regret is not escalating or kino during this coffee. One of the things we talked about was that some of her friends who had moved away were coming to town and their group were doing stuff every day. Considering this, I didn't lock in a next get together. But the next day I texted her "Hey there, just wanted to say I had a great time with you last night! Hope you have fun with your friends this weekend. "

She texted back hours later with a simple "Thanks! " which caused me some whiplash. It was a great, fun coffee and she kind of just dismissed what I said about having a great time. I sent back a funny text and she responded but it kind of died there. I feel like we have a good comfort level and she must know that I'm interested in her because of how I followed up on setting it up. She came to the coffee and had no desire to leave (I ended it after 90 minutes, actually). I probably made a lot of mistakes in not escalating to let her know my intentions, but she kind of is hard to flirt with... like I said, she's got this good girl persona and I've heard from friends she gets frustrated with guys just interested in her physically.

I may see her this coming Wednesday, but will definitely see her at party next Saturday. Where should I go from here? How can I avoid the friend zone and get something going with her? She's going to her parents out of state for 2 weeks around the holidays so I have a bit of a time dilemma with a second "date." Help!

Hitech,
You were going into the right direction before the coffee date. 1, I do need to know what time the date occurred, but on the other hand coffee dates are too often looked at as casual places to sit and talk, also they are one of the oldest date spots in the book at this point. Don’t you think she has been on a “Coffee Date” before? I like that she extended it, but that was with the intention of you really breaking out. That was your chance to test the water with a Kiss at the end of the date.
This would really show initiative on either side, that way you know that you are in or that you wont need to waste anymore time.

-TA

Thanks for the reply. The coffee was at 7, lasted til 9:30. I decided it would be better to end it and leave her wanting more rather than keep extending it. Perhaps this was a massive mistake on my part.

It was also a mistake to not go for even a kiss on the cheek at the end, but I'm getting psyched out by her nice girl persona and the things I've heard about her past relationships (getting frustrated when guys just want to mess around). Trying to present an alternative to her.

How do you think I should proceed if I see her Wednesday at a public social event? Failing that, this Sat?

Here's the current timeline:
Last Wed - coffee date
Last Thur - short text exchange
This Wed - possible encounter at event
This Sat - for sure encounter at party
She leaves town sometime next week, I think.

I just want to say good job on getting the date and all, so up till than you must have been doing great!

I will jump around a bit to what pointed out to me the most. When you text a girl, call a girl, do a favour for a girl, NEVER EVER and I mean NEVER, do it to gain some kind of acceptance this is total AFC. You had a great time, she had a great time, you dont need her to say yea I had a great time too, and thanks for caring about what I am doing this weekend.

She complied and said thanks, as in yea I had a good time thanks for that. End of that discussion...

Like Accountant said Coffee is boring, but I actually met someone the other day who proved to me if you can make a coffee date enjoyable and entertaining than do it. She was interested in you, no body has coffee for 1hr 30 mins, you should have gone up gotten desert than sat down but reposition yourself so you are not in a Rectangle position

You | table here | Her

this is bad it automatically sets up a boundary around both you and her, try and sit by or in a circular booth/table.

I think what you should do is send her a message in a couple of days saying You would love to grab pizza sometime, this way she knows what you want to do and you are being assertive about it.

Best of Luck!

-Raphael

_________________
Best of Luck
-Raphael

Aspiring Artist

Read the adventures I take as I discover my way towards becoming a mPUA or a dPUA (decent PUA) including completing the StyleChallenge ---> raphaels-journel-vt119594.html

Thanks, I was pretty happy we finally got to a date, even though yes coffee dates are not awesome. However, it was a good one.

With the text I was trying to be polite, I guess, but I see your meaning there.

We actually weren't sitting across from each other, but were next to each other at a bar-type table against the window. So we were turned to each other the whole time, sitting sort of sideways in the seats. My failure is kino is what's really bugging me.

The last time we communicated was last Thurs, so I guess thats 4 days. I'm thinking of just waiting until Wednesday and seeing if she shows up at this event (it's for her friend, actually, so she should).

I didn’t mean to come off condecending about the date. I think it is great too and I’m really pulling for you. The next step is to make the most of those inteactions. Continue to build value and make sure to start introducing “keno” and see if she resipricates these actions. Don’t overplay your hand, there is a fine line between killing it and forcing it. I’d like to hear how things go on Wed. Hopefully there is something more to go off of there.

-TA