Yo Mack son.

Do you ever tell the girl your with about pick-up and the seduction community and all that bs. The reason I would have to tell her is so she would look out for the PUA's out there trying to get in her pants and rub their sack across her face. What type of effect do you think that would have?

Appreciate it.. and sorry if this is something somebody addressed already.

Hey Mack!

Quick question. I slept with this girl about 2.5 weeks ago. Slept together a few times, then she basically threw a bitch fit over nothing a day or two before Thanksgiving and we didnt talk for about a week, then I ran into her at school like Tuesday night and she was crying about some fight she had with her best female friend and invites me to sleep over. We kiss a little, no sex. She initiates casual hang outs for the next two days and I hit her up the next day and she's just been flaking on me for the past 3 days. We make plans to watch a movie at her place, she calls me as Im walking over telling me she got sick but tells me I should sleep over within the next few days. I run into her on the street two days later and she seemed super uninterested and I ask her if she wants to hang out and she says shes super tired but maybe and she texts me later saying she has to go to sleep but lets get dinner tomorrow. I text her today and make make dinner plans, talk a little more, she stops responding, I show up to dinner, she doesn't. Didn't confront her about it, just got dinner with someone else, but she didnt even send me an explanation.

Am I getting played? I'm obviously not going to try and make plans with her again in the near future, and I got frustrated earlier and deleted her number, but if she texts me/tries to make plans should I just go with it or should I call her out on playing hard to get/bullshit. I don't want her to think I'm affected but at the same time I want to establish some boundaries.

God... Poor Mack. I think you're starting to realise what you volunteered for. Especially since if some guys here on the thread would bother to read through the whole thing they could not only get the answer to their questions but some other usefull stuff too. Much respect to you mate!

By writing this post i'm also trying to clear my mind. You have to know that i have some paranoia disorder. Really paranoia, and it fuck me and fuck my relationship. I learned to diminish the intensity of those crisis but sometimes it didn't work like tonight. But i'm also not sure of what to think. Nothing really critical i think but there is some issue in my relationship that i need to work on but i'm not sure if it's really problem. What i really think is there is the begining of something that can become a big problem, but don't really know how to handle it, usually i don't care about my relationship and let them die. Not this one. Even if it's not "the one", i don't want this to end for stupid mistake

We are together since 7 months. Everything seem fine, she is always the one asking me to see me (twice a week) (she never complain that i never ask). Never refuse sex. Communication is good but not enough for me (i think we lack of some kind of "existantial communication", and it bother me, we are still at a superficial level. I spoke to her about this, two month ago, she was begining to be anxious and saying something like " well it take time for me for having this kind of conversation, but usually it was with people were it take time that i get the best friendship/relationship) The thing is that i'm getting bored, and if i'm getting bored is not only because this lack of existential communication but i'm boring. Because of my paranoia i don't really engage myself in this relationship, i mean i'm not trying to be creative when we see each other. Or change your pattern, even in sex (oh fuck this i don't understand why i'm so following the same pattern even that i want to do new thing... i can't get rid of this) . I can't do extravagantia things, no job i'm a college student. But it's been a month that i'm feeling she is losing attraction. But i'm not sure, because of my paranoia.

What let me think about this :

-She complain about her work and exam (but it's the period, and she lack confidence, a lot), not a lot, but it's more frequent. Last night she did this, and don't know why but she took some space in the bed from me. So i was thinking about this post, in a topic call big-problem-with-my-girlfriend which is the cause of my paranoia of tonight (i was just looking for a way to spice up the relationship) :




(You have to know that she has always been an anxious girl, really anxious girl, but she don't bother me with this often)

-And i'm wondering if she is losing attraction.
Second little red flag, when i said something nice to her (and also it's not frequent, and i just say it when it's true) she usually respond by "It doesn't count, you are my boyfriend, its totally subjective". At the begining, she was flushing... And sometimes it pass... Don't know how to handle compliment with a low self esteem girl.

-The little third one, i think she is trying to see me less, but don't know, could be my paranoia. Since one month, at the end of the week she said to me "we will certainly not see this week, i have work to do" (which is true) "ok good i have work to do too" and usually she always find a night in the week for seeing me. And this week-end "i go back to my parents this week end". She never say this, one week in advance, so this let me think that she is trying to have some space, but not sure if it's because she is anxious or if this is about me.. This idea grip me, and i can't get rid of it, this post is certainly useless, but this is for clearing my mind...

-A big mistake I did : Last night she spoke to me about something she was affraid of, which is : "If i'm under a paranoia crisis, i cheat on her" and i respond with honesty which was "yes it can be possible" (i'm really in a mode "she will fuck me so i have to fuck her before she fuck me" under paranoia) so i certainly make her feel lost a sense of security in the relationship. How can i reverse it? She know that i'm going to see a psychanalyst for this but i'm not sure it will be enough.

On the good side :

-She try to reassure myself when i'm under paranoia (i don't lack confidence, and not am i a jealous guy when i'm not under paranoia, but when it is, i have no control on my action and thought, and usually i have to speak to her of my issue'cause it will so fuck me up that i will not work on the things that are important to me. I really don't feel like myself)

-Sex is still here and frequent, but boring. It shouldn't be too hard to spice this up... but i have to get out of my confort zone on this point...

-She still trying to dress nicely for me, and being interesting.

-Never fight. I know usually you consider this as a problem, but the two of us are not conflicting people (really she is incapable of being angry, when someone is angry against here she's got some kind of tetanisation).

-She is not distancing herself when we are together, unless last night...

-On my paranoia, i try to not speak about it. But sometimes i just can't. But we always speak about it in a camly way. I think in some way she understand, but i cannot stop thinking that she thing i see her as a whore (which she is not). And it bother me, and i feel guilty for this.

I think this is it. But if there is one question from this post it would be :
-How do you spice up the relationship when the girl seems to lost attraction? (i was thinking about something fun, and new for her, but don't really know what to do...)

I'm also wondering if i'm not projecting my own decrease in her on her.

What should i do :

-Add more fun during our date
-Space up sex which mean getting out of my comfort zone in this, but it has been two month i try, cannot do it. Don't know where the issue come from.
-More deep conversation, but not boring (shit i'm bad at this, but i need and want it, it's one of the most important thing for me to stay in a relationship/friendship...)
-Refuse some date... not because of the game but because i have things to do (and it's true) (but paranoia blabla...)

Any more advice?

It's pathetic, sorry...

I have decided the Lil' Jon Avatar can help me with this question.

I have been dating a girl on and off for 5 years and I do love the girl. Recently we have got back together and over our 5 month hiatus, I was a giant man-whore doing things with unspeakable women aswell as sexy ones. Anyways the damage is done now but I am curious how you would have gone about this.

When we got back together she asked me about my relations with women. I lied and said I dated one. She was really skeptical due to me being a horny perverted freak. She harrassed me until I gave her a new more realistic number. She was hurt but respected me because I told her. THEN I went to vacation and she was house sitting and taking care of my dog. She creeped my personal stuff and found evidence of more girls and found out that I had been still keeping "friendly" contact with some girls a little time into us getting back together. She was pissed but I damaged controlled that shit and now she is ok.

She has zero trust in me and read some messages to girls I was gaming. She is basically throwing fits everytime I say anything that reminds her of my womanizing ways. I'm scared to act cocky or have a sexual attitude because it triggers her hatred for me. Normally if this was a new girl I would tell her to fuck off and mind her own business but I actually care about this girl's feelings. She feels like I cheated by keeping contact and I refused to admit to cheating since we were just at the point of working things out and I was "unsure" of us. It's 1 month since we got together. She also is basically denying me of any social life with friends since I am a untrust worthy sleeze ball.

How can I regain trust without becoming a floor mat? I want and need to socially unwind with friends without her being there for my own mental sanity due to work. Also do you think it's strange that I like to hang out with my buddies, drink, laugh and occasionally go out to bars and clubs without any girlfriends being present? I'm 25 btw. She has convinced me that this is not normal behaviour and I should sit at home listening to her long boring ass stories about what "Jane said to Kelly at work today". If I watch The Note Book one more time I will blow my freaking head off man!!

My friends give shitty advice and are pretty immature, so I come to you for some strange reason. I don't know if you can answer my question but I really needed to vent.

Thanks

Hi Mack,

I've always enjoyed your posts so I thought I would ask for your advice regarding a delicate situation. I'm 27 and she is 23.

I've recently just been through a pregnancy scare with my gf (been seeing her for 3 months). She had been feeling ALL the symptoms of pregnancy for weeks and her period was late. She was convinced she was pregnant and I was convinced too. It was the most horrifying moment of my life! She took a pregnancy test once her period was 1 week late. It was a negative result. Then the next day she began her period so it looks as if we are in the clear.

Before the pregnancy scare I was about to break up with her as I just wasn't happy I'm the relationship. I stuck around during the scare as I needed to see what the hell was going to happen.

The reason I was about to break up with her was because she has a lot of issues and drama in her past and present. Some of the events in her past are not her fault such as the death of her parents and best friend all within a week of eachother but it still left big scars. However some of the drama and disastors presently could be avoided with a bit more common sense!

Not a week would go past without me getting a tearful phone call from her because she had argued with her friends or there was some sort of new disaster.

In comparison my life is calm and relatively disaster free! I sort of felt like I was getting sucked into her problems. It's depressing and it shows no sign of dying down. I can't help her if she won't help herself. One big problem is are backgrounds as well. She has no job, no car, no motivation to better herself or her situation. While I have a degree and a future! I need someone who can match my future wants.

All in all, I want out fast. 100% out. Theres even a nice drama free girl that I know wants to go out with me ready and waiting! I've not cheated or even flirted but I know the score from her friends


Heres where I need help...

Normally I'd meet up and just say it's not working out ect

But...

These next two weeks are the weeks that she commemorates the death of her parents and best friend who past away a few years ago. I was aware of this before so I was going to break up about a month ago! Except she told me about the pregnancy that I mentioned earlier. I should of still ended it there but I was confused and crapping myself about having a child with this girl.

How should I handle a break up during this difficult time for her???

I fear I'll make her worse as she is very emotional! However I don't want to lie to the girl! I feel trapped!!!



Ps, sorry for the essay

I was in a relationship with a girl for about a year, and have been posting in Lodewijkp's thread lately. We broke up 3 months ago, then starting hanging out/kissing 3 weeks ago. Things were going smoothly for a while (thanks to his advice), but now I'm dealing with an experienced PUA trying to get with her. This is getting in the middle of her and I having sex if nothing else. She admitted it tonight, and i'm looking for a couple more opinions of what I should do. I can guarantee he's not interested in a relationship with her, similar to most PUA's, and I'm not either, but I want to be the one fucking her. Thanks in advance

don't break up with her for one week either way of the anniversary of that event. as much as i hate to say it, i am going to.

that is a pretty fucking tragic event she went through, and even though you shouldn't be bound by it, if you break up with her at that exact time, you will feel like shit FOR FOREVER. and you don't want that...now do you? (didn't think so)

also, she will pin that shit on you and she will tell everybody for the rest of your natural life how you dumped her "on the anniversary" of her parents and friend's tragic death (this is how she WILL describe it).

anyway, you are right. you need to get the fuck out of that relationship.

no reason to date a loser.

it seems you've got your shit together. and nobody needs a drama-whore dragging them down. plus it sounds like you are ready to move on.

when you do, do it decisively, do it quickly, do NOT negotiate with her. women will try to take you hostage and make you love them, lol. you can't fall into that trap. it is the road to hell.

pick a date and just do it.

and never look back.

That's pretty much what I was already thinking but it's good to hear it from someone else too!

I'm in the rare position of not being on Facebook or anything similar so when I'm gone she will have no way of tracking what I'm up to. I'm thinking of using this to my advantage and telling a little White lie. I don't know her friends and she does not know mine plus we live about 40 mins apart.

I'm thinking of saying that I was given a job offer quite far away (I'd told her about the possibility anyway and we agreed that long distance was not our thing). The job offer is 50% likely to come true anyway.


The timing sucks. She will be grieving right up until Christmas as the deaths were all within a week of eachother I might need to ride it out until January FFS! I genuinely feel bad for the girl but she needs someone who can deal with her stuff!