Hi guys!
i am born and raised in (South-East) The Netherlands, Dutch is my natural language. Allthough i'm not bad at English, my grammar isn't that well. I hope you guys can understand this and won't criticise me on this.

I'm not really sure when you are "in the game", but what i can tell is that i kissed my first girl on the 14th of February 2009 (Valentine's day, how funny:-)). Until now i have kissed 12 girls, and with 1 girl i had almost sex.
I really didn't use pick-up lines or routines when i met these girls, most of the time i was drunk and just blabla'd something from my mouth, with fortunately worked.
Yet i'm not satisfied because i don't really like being drunk too much.

My Hobby's en passions are Gaming, and i want to become a Game Designer. This way i will make gaming my hobby as well as my Job.
I have made myself the following goals on becoming a PUA:
- To turn Marc into Wallie: My alter ego that knows no fear for the female side and is possible to satisfy (almost) every girl i like.
- To become happy inside, and even find thát special girl which will provide me that happiness i search for.
- Get a good self-esteem because mine at the moment isn't very high

At this moment i have read the book: Magical Tactics from Mark Raymond and i'm reading The Game by Neil Strauss right now. He was talking about a PUA community and i wanted to search one. Then i found this site, and i hope i can find all the information i need to accomplish my goals.

Finally i have 1 question: is it legal on this forum to post pick-up conversations of yourself?

some thoughts to ponder on

you are full of false beliefs and you are expecting terrible outcomes
first do not change yourself for some fucking woman...it starts with some fake identity but it can end up with your life. Just be yourself .. improving doesn't mean changing improving means cutting away the shit you don't need..just get a good role model and try to be yourself .. your whole ego is the problem to begin with,

So you want to be happy inside... and second you look for a girl that provide you the happiness you search for ...

you are asking a girl to make you happy because you are not happy inside ? just read your sentence again.. woman doesn't solve anything .. relationships are extra responsibility and a burden. if you never had sex with a woman you will get attached too easily and probably your fingers burned.

all people i know never had a succesfull relationship with their first girlfriend.. it's not like i get one girl and im happy all my life ... there is no one hit one kill ... guys who did marry their first girlfriend and who are still married probably have a shitty marriage or they miss out on life... at least that's my observation.

getting a good self esteem .. there is where the problem lies .. that's the only thing you need to focus on .. if you accept yourself and improve yourself by cutting away all the bullshit you will feel more confident around yourself and around other people.

your goals right now are mostly based on external things which are outside your control...it amazes me how you put getting good self esteem down below the others....

so i got one question..

why the fuck can't you get good with woman, (you kissed 12 and that doesn't sound really bad...you don't sound desperate )
what are your issues
and why don't you have self esteem ?

_________________
AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
questions about herbal medicine here-vp582526.html#582526

ok first of all: i'm very thankfull you are being honest on my problems.

how i got a low self-esteem?
Let me explain it this way. Last summer i went to a camping where a lot of young people from my age visit. We went every day to a barn that was build into some kind of club. Outside was also a bar, and quite some room for people to cool off.
So i decided to try out some approaches. I used the: OMG! Did you see those 2 girls fight outside? and you know the rest.
Eventually, with every girl, i got rejected. Eventually 5 girls rejected me in a row, not a single smile on every1 of them, while i was just being myself. So when i got rejected many times, i didn't have faith in it anymore, and i didn't even try any approach anymore. ( I did this while i was NOT drunk or anything!)

My friend brought me back to the camping because i was looking a little bit sad and bored.

Also something that i want to change about myself is that when some1 else is having success, i become jealous. I don't want that, but that's an emotion is just can't control ( i don't know if it's able to be controlled at all)

Also i wanted to try the newbie mission a couple of weeks ago. But somehow i just couldn't, couldn't say hi (i read that from a book). And i'm having that kind of problem for years. Even when people like me ( when they show IOI's, yes i have read them all), i just couldn't make it up to get them attracted.

To prove my low self-esteem, ill give an example:
Last Saturday i was in the night club which is only 200meters from my house. I was standing with my friends when suddenly 3 girls stood behind our group. 1 girl was on the right side from me and our shoulders had the same direction. Then i looked her over, and she looked me in the eyes, for like 1-2 seconds. I KNEW that was an IOI, but i just couldn't make it up to approach her. This may sound weird, for an PUA it would be a common thing to just go for it. I couldn't. Somehow my sub-constious mind (or whatever it is), held me back.

This might be because i have been rejected many times in my life. Really much!!!
And i think i have developed a fear of rejection, which has made me have a low self-esteem

ok some repeative events explain alot...

i got some more questions :

are you a sensitive person ?

were you very shy as a kid ?

did you sense other people their emotions ?

were you totally different than most kids ?

do you prefer to be around other people or do you like to be solitary

how do you react to caffeine ?

do emotions get out of control ? ... like you know how to act from a logical perspective but you are always in reaction because those emotions are so strong ?

Did you got bothered or irritated very quickly about what other people said to you ? did you really got emotional and stuck about it ?

Do you feel uncomfortable being in enviroments with loads of people... do you feel uncomfortable in a loud, dense, dark or new enviroments ?

im curious about your psychological temperaments

_________________
AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
questions about herbal medicine here-vp582526.html#582526

are you a sensitive person ? Yes. Normally i try to avoid other people, and when some1 shouts at me or is really mad at me, it bothers me. In that way, i'm far from a cold person, hurting people's feelings is hard for me.

were you very shy as a kid ? As a kid, i was kinda shy, i still am a little bit. This could be in the genes (because my father was quite shy too when he was young, my mother told that), but i don't feel like a attention seeker.

did you sense other people their emotions ? Well, when some1 feels very bad about himself, i can sense that. When some1 feels himself uncomfortable, i'm most of the time some1 who is there for that person, when they need to. Most of the time i try to be the "nice guy" like every1 would define on this forum.

were you totally different than most kids ? It's not that i was totally different from most kids. Nonetheless i didn't had much friends at all on primary school. These days i'm sitting almost always alone or against the same guy in every class, since all my friends are in different classes. I almost never talk to anyone else in my class because i feel like i bother them with dumb questions.
Also when i was young, i was in soccer teams with older boys and they always liked to bully me, because i was one of the 'weak'.

do you prefer to be around other people or do you like to be solitary I always thought that being around people was my thing, but most of the time i'm kinda like the "einzelgänger" solitary guy. Much things i like to do solo, it makes me feel comfortable somehow, to have things done the way i want to and make it happen.
Somehow like being in total control of the situation, with no influences.

how do you react to caffeine ? I can drink as much caffeine as i want, i never get freaking hyperactive. It has a more relaxing reaction to me, i get very quiet from it. it doens't really get me pumped up

do emotions get out of control ? ... like you know how to act from a logical perspective but you are always in reaction because those emotions are so strong ? Yes. For example: Last year a friend (with benefits) which i really liked, texted me happy new year. So i decided to call her, and ask her if she wanted to be in a relationship to me. When she said: well uhm... actually... no.. i was totally freaked out on her, yelled at the cellphone. When my friend said something embarassing about me to other people, i somehow cried. My emotions were out of control. Outside i was yelling things i don't want to post here, but the police almost took me away.

Did you got bothered or irritated very quickly about what other people said to you ? did you really got emotional and stuck about it ? Also to this i have to say yes, because when someone says something really rude, or is being extremely rude to me, i could think easily the whole day: what the hell made me deserve this? I'm really honest here: sometimes i really had suïcide thoughts, but i'm happy i never actually tried it. Also these emotions come up from nowhere when my mom or dad ask something and i totally freak out for no real reason.

Do you feel uncomfortable being in enviroments with loads of people... do you feel uncomfortable in a loud, dense, dark or new enviroments ? It's not that i'm that umcomfortable in environments with loads of people, but what i DON"T like is being ALONE in these crowded places. I don't know if that answers your question?
New environments also make me feel uncomfortable, so that would be a Yes

I hope that gives you enough information on your questions.

do this test http://www.hsperson.com/pages/test.htm

again .. one question needs to be relevent for a multitude of situations..

if one question only happened once in your life it's a negative.

let me know the results.. and let me know what really stood out to you.

_________________
AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
questions about herbal medicine here-vp582526.html#582526

good posts. dont change, have boundaries, respect yourself

You have indicated that 17 of the items are true of you.

Scoring:
If you answered more than fourteen of the questions as true of yourself, you are probably highly sensitive. But no psychological test is so accurate that an individual should base his or her life on it. We psychologists try to develop good questions, then decide on the cut off based on the average response.

If fewer questions are true of you, but extremely true, that might also justify calling you highly sensitive.
These are the results of the sensitivity test. So based on the test i'm a sensitive person. I guess there is nothing i can do about it right?

So my options are to do the newbie missions and progress slowly or....?

you do not sound HSP but you do have a more sensitive psychology than most people.. HSP people also have severe and emotional altering effects from consuming caffeine.

take this
test

http://www.kwml.com/contemplate/assembl ... ge=welcome

you have brain parts which are directly tied to certain psychological traits.. some call them archetypes .. jungean archetypes.

there is a

1. a Active , descision taking , assertive part
2. a logical,objective, analytical part
3. a Subjective , emotional , creative, sensory part
4. a intuitive, risk taking , solution seeking part

1, 2 are both left brained and fatherly
3, 4 are both right brained and motherly

you sound like someone who has develop a more sensitive archetype..

f you want to improve certain aspects of your psychology you have to do certain actions to improve certain traits or capacities. it can be pickup or it can be simply reading about psychology and analyzing things....

i say take the test .. im curious..

you want to develop the traits in order to achieve the goals you want..

_________________
AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
questions about herbal medicine here-vp582526.html#582526

Test outcome:

All hail—You are predominately a King or Queen!

You also possess aspects of the Lover, Warrior, and Magician personalities and your complete personality profile can be described as 30.8% King/Queen, 23.1% Lover, 23.1% Warrior, and 23.1% Magician.

Like the greatest rulers in history, Kings and Queens bring people together with knowledge and nurturing

STRENGTHS
Analytical
Nurturing
Wise
WEAKNESSES
Passive
Judgemental
Egotistical

Protective, orderly, and wise, you're a disciplined leader and an excellent advisor who likes to make and play by the rules. While you prefer to oversee and issue commands without necessarily being the one to carry them out, you're also very compassionate and nurturing—sometimes to a fault of being passive. A lover of learning characterized by wisdom, you enjoy giving advice and others often seek it from you.

At your best within the confines of your own "castle," you prefer that which is safe, secure, and known. No surprise then that you're most comfortable interacting one-on-one with those you love or want to know better, and that your confidence looses steam in new situations.


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Location on the cognitive-emotional spectrum
Located in the upper left quadrant of this spectrum, your personality reflects your strong emotional sense of well-being. Your style of thinking tends to be more left-brained— logical, sequential, rational, and objective.

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Attractions
Located on other end of the spectrum, your perfect opposite is an assertive and creative Magician.


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Quick read
To find out if someone is a Magician, test their performance ability: get their attention, count down from three to one, then say "You're on!" If they break into any kind of performance or entertaining public display, you have found a Magician. You've also given that person exactly the positive emotional energy they need.


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Advice
Learn to let go, dare to dream, and take action without certainty about the outcome.

I hope this will make more clear about what kind of person i am.
When i read this, it makes sense. Many people seek my advice, even though i'm not an expert on what they ask. I also don't really know how to recognize magicians

you are well rounded ...

ok .. do think you think too much ?

do you tend to over-analyze things ?

if that's the case you need to condition yourself and set some firm morals , rules , values and boundaries...

on being a man by david deangelo
deep inner game by david deangelo

how you get your material is up to you .. from the ''internet '' or whatever source.. i think you just need some rules and foundations in order to deal with external challenges.

work from the inside to the outside.. improve yourself and be a solid person, do all the exercises the material presents als listen carefully. seriously .. i think the thing you are struggling with is keeping a internal frame of reference in social situations.

_________________
AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
questions about herbal medicine here-vp582526.html#582526

Do you think too much?

Yes i do. It's not only on the PUA field, i also think too much when for example taking drivers lessons, or when i'm working and my boss gives me something to do, then i start thinking: don't i forget something? Am i doing this right?

Do you over-analyse things?

Also that i think i have to say yes. I'm not sure if thinking of the worst case that can happen is over-analyzing, but maybe the examples i gave could be over-analysing, i never actually thought about it.

So far, the pick up material that Brad is sending to me, is very interesting to me, and i'm definately gonna try it out. I know i'm young, i've read the PUA < 25 years topic, but if there is one thing i'm sure about, is that i'm not childish. I'm not some1 who laugs at farts, keep poking somebody, or things like that.

I also desire to be independant, especially from my parents. I feel like they are too much worried about me, if i'm gonna find the right path.

But if i can change my inner game, become a more solid person, feel good about myself, i won't have to worry about it. I'm already going through changes, i deleted some games on my pc, i stopped being the silent guy. Step by step i'm already trying to get attention, and it feels good. I'm definately gonna stick with this, and even if it won't bring success on the female side, it might be on the other aspects of life.

Also tomorrow i'm going on the newbie mission, so in the afternoon i'll post here how it went.

So today i went to the city with 2 friends, because we were free from school.
I'm honest about this: i didn't like the fact to do this mission with 2 friends walking next to me. They seemed to go for shopping clothes, christmas presents and stuff like that.

Also the weather wasn't too good, it was kinda cold and rainy, so i didn't spot many girls. Maybe this sounds as an excuse, but it's the truth, i saw a lot of old people and almost no females of my age.
So we went into a store and i was trying out a blouse in the fitting room which i thought looked very cool.
When i stepped out of the fitting room, a female who worked there was waiting. I hesitated a second but then i said: Hi. One of my friends said: you have to put that blouse into your pants. I replied with: But doesn't that look me gay? (i kinda felt weird to say that in front of my friends) in which i looked to the girl. She replied: No, i think it looks really nice, trust me. Me: So if a guy would wear this blouse, and put's in into his pants, you would definately go out with him?, in which she smiled and said: yeah i would probably go out if he asked me. I was thinking of replying with: today is your lucky day, you want to go out with me?, but my friends were already saying they would leave the store so i was pressured to buy it and leave.
Luckily after the shop one of my friends (the biggest AFC of my friend circle), had to go and work. So my other friend and me were walking around the shops when we saw 2 girls he knew. We talked a little, and she looked into my shopping bag in which she discovered the blouse. She took it out, handed it in front of my body and said: hmm, sexy.. (in a kind off not very interesting mood). So i said: Is that your way to may guys attracted to you? (with a decent smile behind it). She had to laugh, did the same thing and said: Sexy! but still in a mood which wasn't really better. So i knew more then enough and walked further so this time my friend was pressured to move on. I got a little bit the hang off it, and didn't care too much about my friend. I said Hi to some girls, but they didn't respond. Caught another girls we knew, talked a few minutes with them, but also didn't work out (don't want to put too much details). Eventually he wanted to go, and it started to rain, so i went home too.

In conclusion: this wasn't a success, i'm going to do this mission over in 2 days, when i'm in the city again a have time enough. My advice: make sure your friend is really helpful and understanding when doing this mission, or else they might be a source which holds you back.

So basically, people who struggle with being sensitive and overanalyzing need to work on their inner game?

yes but you also should keep in mind that you should not overthink things too much. So basically everything you say shouldn't have been planned out, is has to be spontaneous. If you still said something very dumb, try to smerk it away with a joke.