| Yesterday something funny happened to me.
First of all, you should all know I think too high about myself and I act accordingly. Wich is why most ppl hate me on the first sight, I tend to show like Im more than everyone else.
This is false, I do believe in myself, but Im not better than the next guy, problem is what I show to the rest of the people.
That being said, everyone says Im way too cocky, etc.
Like I was saying, yesterday I had a date with a girl I met at a job interview.
Things were smooth actually, we had some drinks, then a boat ride in wich we k-closed, and she bs tested me to sleep with her. She said: "I dont want the night to be over. Ooops."
I called her on her bluff, told her I rather leave her with more interest, and this was the trick that made me find out about the truth ( or what she now claims to be the truth; thats the problem with ppl who already lied to you, you dont know when they are going to strike again).
Well, turns out she is dating another fella, wich made me go all prejudice in her ass like: " such a whore" and those kinda thoughts.
She texted me saying we shouldnt meet again and I just had an interesting convo via msn with her.
Turns out this guy has been there for her on the down moments and she cant forget that, but also she finds me very attractive and interesting. Told me something like: "it would have made it so easy if things would end up the wrong way yesterday (having sex); couse that way youd just be another guy. But you made it more complicated than that."
To all of these things I responded with things like: if it has to be only a kiss, so be it. Ill take it, enjoyied it anyway so I can stay with the memory. Even thou I do want to see you again, and kiss more than your lips and your neck.
She ended up saying me via text that being with me yesterday was awesome and she is having some trouble being away. That shes sorry.
This means I lost the girl alright. That if I wouldnt be aware of my own ego, but if these are not other lies, I am, and now Its clear to me.
This is the real control, simply knowing that you have none. This is my point of the topic and therefore the section, we lack of real control.
The is no such a thing on other girls lifes.
The chick that went out with me its a control freak, she enjoys it and I could tell that by only seeing her once.
I think shes wrong, she doesnt have any real control over me or the ppl she thinks she do, the whole idea of control comes from fear; the fear of being rejected, of being pulled away, misunderstood, etc.
Life is a funny thing, I started all prejudice about her, when she was actually lying to me and being the kinda person I didnt like, but when I actually thought to myself: easy on the judgement Bond, you might be wrong ( special thanks to DJ_Z for opening my eyes on this one), she tells me shes not willing to leave her comfort zone.
It will be her loss, Im sure of it. But as long as I lear something from it, to me this is not losing a girl.
This means winning many on my upcoming future.
Bond.
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CHAT