Hey dudes....what would you guys say are the key differences in gaming/talking online then in person.

I find that i can't say a lot of stuff w/o being able to show my smile behind it. I also find it hard to actually have a conversation over AIM because i find that i think SO much about everything i say and i can't even decide on how to say things...and then it just feels like work instead of talking. Anyone else like this? Also...how engaging/energetic do you think it's alright to get over instant messenging? I find it much easier to say what i want online so i may end up saying more than i do in person..so idk if this is not congruent in a bad way? Thanks for reading.

Ditto here, need some guidelines on IMs.

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afc-challenge-to-the-masters-social-anx ... 10108.html

Don't associate a pause in IM with a awkward sillance. The person may be watching tv, away from the computer, talking to other people. Conversly, never reply quicker than the other person did. Doing so conveys neediness, by taking your time, your demonstrating that you have other things to do and must prioritise your time accordingly.

Thats something i try to stay true to, by all means its not set in concrete.

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"Do or do not. There is no try." ~Yoda

Yeah i mean i figured that much and that's what i normally do. The annoying part is that conversation takes SOOOOO long ...when every response is every 3-10 minutes. haha...

I'm not the biggest fan of IM. Try and get their number and talk on the phone, it's way better, but I agree though, take your time replying. I saw that on a David De DVD.

Yeah, I definitely have to work on replying slower. Its hard not to reply quick when thats actually all your doing. But I've noticed that when I'm talking to someone and they are slower to respond that they have the power and I'm waiting for them to talk. It should be the other way around. You want people longing to hear what you have to say. Great advice that makes sense.

another rule is that DO NOT be on IM all the time. only go on once or twice a week and only stay for short time. there are those ppl who's on msn all the time. it just show that they have no life and watch youtube all the time.

I think AIM messaging can be very useful. You can be extremely systematic and do the same thing over and over with different girls, more successfully than IRL. As far as knowing when to message, either you doing it or waiting for her, i would use the same rules as the phone...

other than that I would try and say the same things you would IRL, dont think about it TOO much.

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fellow san diego sargers hit me up

Thanks for the replies guys! What do you mean the same as the phone? The girl is online SPAM and last time(monday night) i IMed her and we had a fun convo and i number closed. Maybe stupid on my part , but last night i was kinda drunk but not really, but basically just feeling pimp after some good game...so i called her around 2:30 am to tell her to come out(she lives in my dorm building) but she didn't pick up...she's usually sleeping by then i'm pretty sure. No txt/call today.

ANYWAY, what are the rules with me IMing first or waiting for her? Also..i agree being online all the time isn't good(she's on a lot)...but is it ok if i just sign on...wait a few min usually and put an away message up? Like this morning ill just wake up...go online/listen to music for a few min as i eat some food..and then put up "hitting up the gym" or something(which is true). Is this shit ok? Or even bullshit it..and be like "you're so fucking cute!" (indicating someone else other than her)? What do you guys think? Thanks for reponses so far.

ive found its best to silly neg...like grade school stuff so it cant be misconstruded and also try not to get to deep in conversation and keep it fun and silly.....i love to send them funny pictures of lolcats and if it does get serious tell them its hard for you to get serious over aim and you want to talk on the phone and i always tend to give my number....

or say you cant stay on the computer but you want to finish this convo right now so call me......once again only if it goes serious


just my 2 cents

Acting completely insane-silly can maintain a conversation. Oh, and never apologize if they don't get a joke. Here's an example of how I act over aim (my comments are in []'s):
(11:24:33 PM) Her: Hey
(11:24:43 PM) Me: hey
(11:24:53 PM) Me: ooh, purpley thingy
[Her aim buddy icon was a dark purple on light purple half-heart]

(11:25:04 PM) Me: what is it?
(11:25:34 PM) Her: honestly, it's the crest of love from the Digimon anime
(11:26:24 PM) Her: but it's pretty and purple, and I like it
(11:26:54 PM) Me: oh, here I was hoping it was something more
interesting...like the still beating heart of your previous lover or
something
(11:27:04 PM) Me: oh well
(11:27:12 PM) Her: again, I disappoint
(11:27:26 PM) Me: just one disappointment after another :P
(11:27:41 PM) Her: maybe you shouldn't talk to me anymore :P
(11:28:02 PM) Me: well...I'll give you another chance...you said
you're a gamer? what do you play?