Hi everyone! I'm new to this forum. I posted a introductory message here:

Sorry for this turning out to be a huge wall of text. Please read it, though!

I've been reading Neil Strauss' 30 day challenge, and I thought the first steps would be a piece of cake. Turned out they were not. Although I consider myself very well-spoken in groups of people I know (or cassieres, or everyone I have a reason to talk to), I had a hard time approaching strangers. It felt like I lacked a reason to speak to them this time.

The first day out I just strolled through the mall, without even speaking to anyone. It felt weird being in stores were I wasn't going to buy anything. That's how self-conscious I was. I tried again the next day: success! I talked to some little kids about them waiting for christmas before getting the games they want at a toy shop. They all reacted positively and seemed happy that I talked to them. I chatted up some more strangers that day, asking where the bookstore was and so on.

Third day is the eye color challenge. I figured I couldn't talk to little kids and adults this day and needed to talk to girls my age (the most scary group). So I did. I asked a group of four girls what they thought were good local shoe stores, making brief eye contact with each of them, noting their eye colors.

Then I chatted up a group of two girls, asking again about the shoe stores (I figured it's a pretty harmless reason to talk to people). The two girls are, with all due respect, way less educated than I am. I knew once they started talking. I just wanted to get away, considering the approach as 'done', when someone I actually knew came along, and he happened to know those girls as well. I walked him to a store he needed to visit, and those girls kept following us, dragging me into shoe stores, trying to show me nice shoes.

One of them said: if you take these shoes I'll date you (they were very, very expensive). I said: so that's the pair I'm least likely going to buy. I had only read about negs; now I found myself using one. With great success, actually. But the girls were far from attractive, so I didn't take action. I did, however, get this friend's number to meet again sometime (we hadn't spoken since middle school).

Next day, I couldn't get it done for some reason. I walked through the mall for an hour, only speaking to one boy and his sister about how he wore shorts while it was almost freezing outside. They gave me a weird look and said bye. Bad day.

Then, today I consider a big success. I went to the mall again, to the library. I had been there before, figuring a brighter type of girl would come there. This time I saw two girls studying there, one reasonably attractive and one not so much. I needed all my courage to do it, but then I just said 'hey, what subject are you doing?' Turned out they were doing biology.

Then two things happened at once; the not so attractive girl looked very weirded out when I said my first sentence, and the other girl turned out to be more attractive than I had thought she was. I felt a blush coming up. I didn't know what to say for a moment, then I said, jokingly, that they should start doing physics, because that's what I study and I could help them out.

The attractive girl then said: well, you can still sit down if you want. I regained posture and said: 'yeah I could do that for a short while'. I figured things were going the right direction! I tried focusing my attention on the unattractive girl to try and make the attractive one seek my attention, but it wasn't needed at all. She was all over me from the start. A guy who was studying came back for his cigarette after a couple of minutes (luckily he was away at first, because I would have never approached otherwise), and I greeted him with confidence.

I actually had the confidence now that things were going so well. I kept talking to the group, the attractive girl kept asking me questions. Turned out she wanted to study literature. I almost chose for literature, not physics, so we had a lot of stuff to talk about.

I offered several times to leave, but the attractive girl kept saying: 'no, I like to disrupt people from their work'. After almost an hour the guy said: 'well, I really want to continue studying now'. I said: you're very right, I should be going anyway'. Then I asked: 'I want to add you guys on facebook, you should give me yours'. The attractive girl got her phone and asked my last name, then added me on her facebook. That was all I needed, really, and said bye and got out.

Well, isn't that quite a success? I accepted her friend request, next step I need advice on! Ask for her number over facebook chat, then text her during the week to go out on some date? You tell me, please!

edit: while writing, she messaged me on facebook (this being 3 hours after we met). I think I'll be asking for her number now.

Cheers,

GreenGranted

I actually got her number, it went very easy.

She initiated a facebook conversation saying: 'I should be studying, instead I'm just harrassing people on facebook with messages'.
I said: 'well that's okay, but I'm going to harrass you back by phone message' (didn't have her number).
She said: 'oh really? Just kidding, you can have my number, it's ....'.

Either I was very lucky or I did something right. Anyhow, I love the game thus far.

Keep the posts coming, going to start this aswell. Interested to see the results of the 30 day challenge.

So I just kept the conversation going for a minute after that, I never said I noted her phone number. Then I said bye and logged off of facebook. Just logged back in, she said bye while I was offline and she said we should speak again soon with a wink thingy.

This girl is really into me I think. Any suggestions on how to move on? Text message her in a couple of days to hang out in a bar or cafe or something?

I still need advice on this one.

I'm thinking about dropping her a message by phone tonight and set up a date for tomorrow evening. I have no idea what it needs to be though, we're both quite busy at the moment and I would love to have a quick coffee with her or something. Just don't have time for a whole evening thing (and I think it's way too early to do that anyway).

Any suggestions? Also, I feel a bit of a wimp just texting her instead calling, but I heard a lot about text game and so on. Is it a common myth that you need to call a girl?

Thanks, and sorry for the double post.

well, if she's shy, she'll find it easier to talk to u through FB, sms or chat instead of the phone...
i always phone though
good luck

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In my world, the rest are just visitors...

First off I really do congradualate you, wish I had the balls to do this.

I live in the uk and the whole "mall" scene isnt the same. But this post has really made me feel like I could manage something like this.

I'm like you, I feel very self concious even walking around bymyself.

BOOM! Got a date! I think I just beat the 30 day challenge on day 4 ^^!

I texted her. This is how it went. (I'm translating all of this from Dutch by the way, my English might be lacking throughout)


Me: What's the least stupid place to get coffee around here? (we actually live in a pretty dull town 30 minutes from the centre of Amsterdam).

Her: umm I don't know, just somewhere on the city's square?

Me: We can do that. Tomorrow...how late?

Her: I can't tomorrow, I'm in my exam period. I'm free again on friday xD

Me: I can be on the city's square half past nine on friday. Meet up at the theatre?

Her: Half past nine in the morning or evening? I have a test that day as well XD (I guess my fault for not specifying).

Me: Haha, in the evening!

Her: Umm Ok, cool. See you then!

Me: Good luck on your tests!


So that settled it! I'm feeling pretty confident right now.

I was planning on meeting some new girls at the university today as well. There was one golden opportunity to approach, I think, when a girl lingered at the lockers and looked at me. I was with my friends though, and I'm not yet ready to show them my work in progress. So I let it pass. Better luck tomorrow.

Hope you read and comment. Advice for the friday date appreciated as well!

friday's gonna be tough. really...
she will want to see through you (if, of course she's really into you) so it will be full of tests. just remember to keep your chin up. and first and foremost, always remember, she cant give u anything, another chick cant.
so if u see some weird shit going on, i'd say pass her. now that u got the hang of it, ull se that it will be more and more easy to hook up with a chick
the moment u start feeling u dont like stmthn abt her, remember that the field has other orange trees too

_________________
In my world, the rest are just visitors...

Can you try to point what is going to be tough on friday? She gave me her number first instant she could, I didn't even ask for it. I'd say she's pretty interested.

I read about shit tests and so on, I assume that is what you mean. I start spotting them all around me more and more - and from what I understand of it it's all about not placing the girl on a pedestal.

I used to do that in high school all the time. I was madly in love with a seemingly perfect girl for over two years, I think. I was friend zoned, eventually (of course).

This specific date I think I handled pretty well. I liked the way I texted her. I didn't use any 'canned material', because I hated the idea of using rehearsed stuff the moment I read about it, so I just focused on conveying the right attitude.

Bottom question is, what's where I'm most likely going to fail on the date?

'course it will be full of shit tests...
i had opened a 2-set the other day with a friend, we were having fun, the chick's were really into us and we left them in the middle of the street b'cuz of a s tupid test XD

look, dont worry,
as i told you, remember that this chick aint much dfrent than the others. try to be cool, and since u have already built some sort of attraction with her already (since u are going out duh! lol) focus on amplifying this attraction instead of trying to built it all over.
imo, ure most likely to fail one of her test.

_________________
In my world, the rest are just visitors...

Hey greengranted. I'm dutch as well, but I'm now on my phone, tomorrow I can add you on hyves/messenger whatever, because it might be easier for me to have some1 whos about the same level on pua as me. pm me if you are ok with adding me on the social networks (i'm 18 years old btw)