I tend to end up going out alone to night clubs, as most of my friends are married, have kids, have to work early in the morning or just suck at life..

I am a pretty good looking guy, 6'2", semi-athletic build, dark hair and eyes.. I always notice women checking me out. But I am heavily tattooed, and have a look on my face a lot of the time that makes me look like I'm pissed.. It's just because I have a hard time seeing, so I squint..
They misinterperate that for "scary motherf***er".

Does anyone have any good openers/advice they could share in this post..
Some of us don't have (haven't found) a good wing yet, and us solo AFC's (lol) need ass too!

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It's not who you are that holds you back, it's who you think you're not.

I do not see a problem with going alone to night clubs for picking up girls. You do not have to care about others (like your friends) and because you are alone there you have to get in contact with other people if you do not want to to party alone. Just start smiling and try to have fun. But what I also like is going out with some good looking girlfriends of mine to the clubs. This is much better than going out alone. You can have fun with your friends and I have the opinion that it also creates attraction from other women in the club towards you, which helps approaching them.

The best advice I ever read for approaching was an article called 'Chris manaks 25 tips for approaching' the man is 100% spot on. Pretty much he just covers a whole lot of things you shouldn't do and a lot of the big mistakes guys make.

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"Stay hungry, stay healthy, be a gentleman, believe strongly in yourself and go beyond limitations.” - Arnold Schwarzenegger

My 0.2 of advice would be to try to appear a bit more friendly and approachable if you have a "mean" look to you. If you're alone, try to be friendly and talk to a guy or two perhaps about the bar, girls, etc. It'll give you a bit of "social proof", and it'll give you a chance to be seen talking and you can crack a joke or two, or at least be seen with a smile or a different expression on your face. You might look a bit less intimidating like that to people who are watching you.

Kieran..

That article was the bees knees man! Awesome.
The confidence that stuff like that builds just reading it is amazing..
Going out alone isn't that big of a deal to me, and honestly sometimes having guys around just cock blocks me. I just don't want to be that creepy tattooed 31 year old hanging out in the shadows by himself eyeball f'ng every hot chick in the room lol..

I think the "strategy" of bringing some hot girlfriends out is primo..
It shows pre-selection, DHV like a mutha, and also gives me an opportunity to build a more fun relationship with my "friends".

For all I know my "girlfriends" that i brought out to wing may get jealous because they secretly have wanted to jump my bones!?

You guys rule, thanks!

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It's not who you are that holds you back, it's who you think you're not.

It's my pleasure dude, approaching can be pretty darn hard if you don't know what you are doing wrong, glad to be of help.

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"Stay hungry, stay healthy, be a gentleman, believe strongly in yourself and go beyond limitations.” - Arnold Schwarzenegger

awesome man, glad i found this thread.... Chris's article was exactly what i was looking for. thanks

Crazy..
I went out last night to this local dance club and I saw this fine dime from behind and instinctively I went up behind her and brushed my hand across her shoulder.. And when she turned around I tried to pretend that she wasn't who I thought she was, and she responded with "Nice line".

I looked at her in disbelief and said, "That wasn't a line I thought you were someone else.."

Then her friends that we there next to her said "Yea nice line"..

I felt dissed. Hard.

What did I do wrong, and what would have been a better way of handling that scenario?

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It's not who you are that holds you back, it's who you think you're not.

Most beautiful women have a 6th sense for insincerity, a bullshit sense.

There are literally thousands of potential telltale signs that will warn an intuitive female of your fakeness, some people call these 'micro gestures' and only the greatest actors come close to mastering these telltale signs.

Perhaps the answer to your question is right in front of you, why didn't it work? Because you were using a line. Perhaps the question you should be asking is why did I feel like I needed to use a line?

Why couldn't you just approach this girl with Rockstar confidence and tell her that you want to meet her, that you find her interesting. Then be selectively honest.

I.e.

Blatantly honest.
'Hi, I think your tits are stunnerz and I'm secretly hopin your slutty enough to give me a gobby in the bathroom, because I really need a good no strings attached lay to boost my confidence, how about it?'

Selectively honest.
'Hi, I think you're cute, tell me your name'

You have just met a girl for the first time and you have already based your entire relationship on a lie. What are the chances of it progessing to something positive from here?

Next time you are in that situation don't 'intuitively lie', if lying is something you do intuitively then you have a problem. Next time follow your instincts instead.

What is the difference? Instinct requires no thought process, it is completely honest and true, it is getting in touch with your primal self. The part of you which has been fine tuned through millions of years of evolution, the most basic fundamental quality of every human being and the very root of all sexuality.

This is where you should be operating from, this is what should drive your actions, not the psychological complex you have developed from a history of negative experiences with women.

This is a self perpetuating thought process, otherwise known as a negative feedback loop, this is what I believe you are suffering from now and what is stopping you from reaching your full potential. Lying is negative behaviour and therefore it creates negative outcomes and feeds an unproductive cycle.

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If you want to start having positive relationships with women then you need to consciously break this cycle and start being true to yourself and true to women.

Forget what you know about women and their cruelty, stop trying to trick them into liking you. How would you feel if you found out one of your friends was only using you to borrow your Playstation 3/Xbox games?

This is how a woman feels when she thinks a guy is trying to cheat her into liking him.

The only person you are really cheating though is yourself, you are cheating yourself out of real relationships, you are cheating yourself from getting laid, you are cheating yourself into thinking you are unworthy.

I think you are worthy, I think you are an intelligent capable human being and I've never even met you, about time you start thinking the same.

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"Stay hungry, stay healthy, be a gentleman, believe strongly in yourself and go beyond limitations.” - Arnold Schwarzenegger

great articicle. Im going to try his stuff tonight

Going alone to clubs is always an adventure and you have mostly a lot of fun and often meet intresting people.

By the way you are talking about this article? http://wayoftheplayer.com/the-best-of-w ... proaching/ click me

Kieran wow....

Man you blew my mind with that response bruv. Thank you for the kind words..
Ya know just off of what I've read of your responses I think you are a wicked cool guy and if I lived closer I'd totally jump at the opportunity to sarge with you.

On the content of your last post, that cycle.. I believe I've found a cycle to break the old one~

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It's not who you are that holds you back, it's who you think you're not.

Hey Jason,

Awesome attitude, great plan. It's fantastic seeing guys pro-actively setting themselves on the path to self-improvement.

To be perfectly honest I see a lot of men on here looking for a 'magic beans' solution to improving their game, they are so concerned with finding out the latest cool line to use or most effective routine they never even take the first steps necessary to plan the path to where they want to be.

This, what you have here is a great start. You want to get laid by lots of hot women, awesome man, I have no doubt that you will achieve that goal. I'm not going to lie to you, you will need to work for it but you will get there if you want it enough, I guarantee it.

Your problem with conversations getting boring, awkward, platonic is a problem that most men have. It is especially common with guys in your situation. You are used to being so deeply open and intimate with one girl it has affected your ability to relate to strangers who are on an entirely communicative different level with you.

I will try and explain better because you were so in love with this girl you were emotionally closed off to other girls, so now that you are suddenly free you have forgotten how to relate to women kind of like someone who has been in prison for several years emerges with anti-social tendancies they didn't have before, their situation has shaped the way they interact with the world around them.

What you need to do now is learn to relate to women who you havent shared a deep intimate bond with, this is something you haven't had to do for awhile so it's only natural that you would be a bit rusty right now.

If you want to get better sooner then memorising lines and routines wont help you much, they might help give you the confidence to approach in the first place but they wont be you and they wont be genuine and I personally believe this causes detriment to our long term confidence and isn't sustainable or practical.

My advice to you right now would be to throw yourself into the deep end as often as you can, be prepared for some nail biting experiences, some embarassing and awkward situations and make sure you can laugh about them after (keeping your sense of humour is crucial to your success in this regard)

If you normally go for 7's and 8's start going for 10's, treat every rejection as one step closer to success and learn to love the challenge.

As far as conversational material goes the best thing you can do is keep a clear mind, don't go into a set with a head full of jumbled thoughts of what you are going to say to her, don't plan the conversation before it even takes place, put some of the honus on her to be a good communicator.

If you pre-plan the conversation too much you will guaranteed get tongue tied everytime, you will be so consumed with trying to remember your material to use you will miss out on lots of great material she is giving you to work with, she will also sense that you are not really listening to her and this will make things 10x harder for you.

Hope this helped.

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"Stay hungry, stay healthy, be a gentleman, believe strongly in yourself and go beyond limitations.” - Arnold Schwarzenegger

These are great natural gaming tips Kieran.

Thanks for your input!

Kieran..

Just signed up to way of the player.

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It's not who you are that holds you back, it's who you think you're not.