Right guys I need help , i'm being labelled into the friend zone.

This girl at work, who I have went to her flat and kissed, could have went all the way but had a girlfriend at the time. She was very flirty,dirty texts etc the whole lot.
She then said she wanted to stop the cheating before I went on holiday/

Basically she still emails me all day since I came back from holiday however no email ever has xxxs in it anymore, not a single one. Now I know I shouldn't be hung up on this but it must mean something?

She says I should come meet up with her in town on sat and she will buy me a drink.
I have tried to get her over to mine, but she says she can't because she is scared her boyfriend will find out.

I just want her to think of more as a love interest as apposed to a mate at work she can email.

More recently, I told her I might be leaving, she said

HB: NOOO you can't do that
me: Don't worry im sure you'll find someone else to email
HB: Whats that supposed to mean? I've only been emailing you today, nobody esle loves me
ME: who says I love you?
HB: you love me as a friend lol

I've tried the whole jealousy thing and it did respark her interest. It's quite difficult for me to totally freeze her out as I see her each day at work( she works at front desk)

But man I gotta lay this girl, for my own fricking sanity!

Move on, no matter how hard it is but we've all got to come to terms with this at some point in our lives.

You're better off going out and getting a new fresh girl instead of wasting mental energy this girl.

That's what I do anyway but if someone actually has a solution for our friend here and actually f-close this girl, I would be glad to hear it also.

I know mate, I know.

I guess my main question is do I go meet her on saturday for a drink? She always says she wants to buy me lots of shots.

Or do I not attend, I will actually be out anyway with my buddy.

I don't wanna end up as a plaything/bitch/someone to keep her excited but at the same time if I need to work a routine to get a result I will.

If she is offering to buy drinks for you then I perosnally would go.

To be honest you can't really judge her from her emails. Go out with her, have a few drinks and see how she is acting. If she is flirty, leaning in and smiling a lot, it's on. However, if she's acting distant, then you'll know to move on.

See it as a final test. If shes still into you, you'll be able to see it, if not move on.

Thanks for the replies mate, I appreciate your time.

That's my thinking its a positive thing, at the christmas party next week she is saying she is going to buy me loads of drinks aswell.

I sometimes do see she is interested but she does give me nicknames at work, possible shit test? lol. I managed to come up with a few for her though and she seems to have stopped.

You can tease her about trying to get you drunk to take advantage of you, something along those lines when she says she'll buy you lots of drinks. If she gets defensive and starts laughing about it, that probably is her intention lol win-win situation right?

The nicknames are just her way of teasing you and playing around. Give her some back, it's fun!

Until you meet her though, keep an open mind about things and don't jump to any conclusions, just see how she acts around you.

Yeah is a bit of fun. at first I didn't know how to take it but after I started taking the mick of her back she was more receptive.

I might slip in the taking advantage line. I do talk to her a lot via email thesedays though.

She has stopped the text game as her bf was looking through her phone apparently. She actually said to me, don't text unless I text you first as my boyfriend could be there.

However the night I broke up with my gf, she said to give her a text after 9 to talk- I didn't as I didn't wanna seem to keen.

She does love the guy, but he has cheated and I can see dents in the realationship, he doesn't let her go out much and when she does she gets shit.

On the flip side he goes when he wants.

At work she can be flirty, like the other day she said I had to move my car because it was taking up two spaces, I knew it wasn't but she was insident that it was. So I go past reception and she is laughing- obviously a prank!

So I email her and say - just an excuse to see me eh?

She emails back with- No I was just bored and your easy to wind up.

Man chicks are confusing

not a pro here, but the more you talk to them not in person (phone, email, text, etc.), it seems the more confusing they can become. and the more likely they jump into friend zone.

Yeah I was gonna say something about that.

Stop emailing her so much. The time you spend speaking to her through emails should be spent in person.

She has probable got so used to you emailing her, you probably got put in the "friend to email" zone, yeah I made that up. She no longer feels the need to see you in person as much.

"Distance makes the heart grow fonder" This quote should be grabbed by the balls and put into action straight away. Stop the emailing, become slightly mysterious, she will start to wonder why her inbox is empty. If she likes you, she make begin emailing you asking why you don't do it anymore. When you see her in person, she will appreciate it much more.

Right guys an update-please advise .

I've stopped emailing her so much, I did try and get her over to mine but she flaked and said she wanted to but she was scared her boyfriend would find out.Fair enough I thought.

However she has started playing games/tricks with me-kinda winding me up. For example she often will email me and tell me I have a package at reception or that my car is taking up two spaces so I go and check and she is playing a prank. What does this mean?

She also calls me the nickname she gave me quite a lot in emails now, I don't know if this is a good or bad thing?

Tomorrow is the xmas work party and I know for a fucking fact every guy in the company is going to be hitting on her, guys she really is a 10. I keep looking at her thinking, why oh why didnt I bang her when I had the chance. She is stunning and has 34EE boobs, jesus christ

So Im guessing the wise thing to do at this party is to not try and chat her up, keep my distance and poetentially speak to othr girls to make her jealous?


cheers

3 steps to get out of the FZ. 1.Freeze out 2. jealousy plotline 3. reframe. Do you want more details?

_________________
There are no lesbians, just women who never met Sid.

I gotta give credit to my man loaded for all the help he has given, I've got a good jealousy campaign going I think however I havn't really done a major freezeout.

What we talking here -a week of no emails /talk in person? I walk past her each day at reception so I have to see her.

Reframe-basically to get her to change her mind about me after jealousy campaign right?

The freezeout is basically about showing much less interest then you did before. Cut down texting to minimum if you texted a lot, stop seeing her so much if you did etc. She will get the feeling that you lost interest and that you are on to someone new.. And you do that with the jealousy plotline or campaign in the meanwhile. Bcs every girl feels a little bit jealous, even if she didn`t see you as a potential partner.. But it mustn`t come off like you are trying to show her smth. But you probably know that.
And as for the reframe.. Well that`s pretty much it yes. With JG you get preselection, that`s one DHV and also you raise your value bcs you are not a hung-up. And when you do the reframe, she has to see some Major changes, bcs only that is how she will be interested, which will give you the chance to KC her or whatever you want to do +the timing must be good. Don`t invite her to a coffee or something. Make it happen on some event Good luck, hope it helped

_________________
There are no lesbians, just women who never met Sid.

you got to?, you should read up on the theory of neediness, nothing turns girls off worse, they can smell it from a mile away, desperation, a need to get something, you want something from them, you are trying to get something from them cause you need it, don't be needy, the frame is, I want and I let you know I want but in no way must I have it, good signs that you are becoming needy

-trying to find ways to impress her cause you want her to react well to you
-putting way more effort into everything then she does
-ignoring obvious signs of dis-interest
-being rude for no reason to win some sort of ''power game'' when it does not suite the situation
-calling her non stop when she doesn't call you, (this relates to point #2)
-continuing to put effort in when she has already flaked (this relates to point, #2, #3)
-getting angry at her/your self, for not achieving a certain reaction that you need to see
-trying to punish her in some way emotionally for not doing what you want
-trying to supplicate her in some way with money, bragging, compliments, or jokes, or something to get her to do something you want (relates to point #1)


here is a simple game plan for you, that you can try out, friend zone in my opinion happens for a few reasons,

-reason one, you are being a pussy and don't escalate, get on with it and try to have sex with her already, and declare the damn interest, if you have not hit on her and tried to make out with her within 2 weeks of meeting her, I would fucking hope you would be friend zoned, because you don't deserve her, don't expect girls to just hop on your dick and escalate on you, that is your job, they hop on when you create the situation for that to happen

if you don't understand how to escalate there is a good place to start in the pua lounge,
chiefs-guide-to-outer-game-vt75887.html
read the part about the compliance ladder, if you are not getting compliance, it is time to move on, she doesn't talk to you and won't give you the simplest forms of compliance, she obviously isn't interested, she won't move with you somewhere inside of the bar then most likely she won't come home with you, if she won't meet you, she is not being compliant, won't make out with you, she is not being compliant, she won't sleep with you she is not being compliant, escalate your compliance, it is about 80% of the dynamic in pickup, it is the difference, between getting laid, and having a conversation that does not lead to anything,

it is about what girls do, not what they say, no compliance, no fucky fucky, doesn't matter what they are saying, flirt flirt flirt, hey come meet me, her:ahh nah i got this excuse for the 5th time in a row, = no compliance, no fucki fucki


-reason 2 too ugly/dis-likes your personality, usually it falls into the ugly category,

this is why you escalate and test compliance, she needs to be comfortable with you, and attracted if the dis-advantages for her outweigh the benefits, then taadaa, she will not give you compliance, if she thinks you are way too ugly, she will probably not even comply with having a conversation, this is why you try to ''add value'' instead of taking it, you are simply making the advantages of being around you greater then the dis-advantages, and comfort with you, comes with time and rapport, too much comfort, not enough compliance, and BAM, YOU ARE FRIEND ZONED, because it is congruent and comfortable for her to not comply with your escalations, in short, here is a really simple check list for you to follow, and trust me on this one, girls that like you allow you to touch them, and usually touch you back

1)will she talk to me?
2)will she let me touch her without becoming repulsed or freaking out?
3)will she be alone with me?
4)will she let me kiss her?
5)will she have sex with me?

run this checklist, and work on the compliance aspect, if she is not giving you compliance, try to get compliance from her that requires less investment on her part, then once you have some compliance at a lower level of investment, amp it up and ''escalate'' the compliance, if she absolutely will not give you compliance, it is time to move on, there are billions of girls, just accept it and move on, after a great deal of time has passed, and she forgets what is the congruent comfortable level of compliance to give you, come back and try again, and if it was because you were too ugly, then hit the gym, and be a more positive cool person when you come back, that is how to escape the friend zone,

quite simple, get compliance, she either complies or she doesn't, what she says doesn't matter, she could tell you that you are her best friend, if she complies with what you say, you can still sleep with her, it is irrelevant what she says, watch what she does, that being said a girl can tell you she wants to suck your dick, and that you are the sexiest guy she has ever met, then flake on you 10/10 and never have any intention of doing what she says, she is just seeking some validation and likes flirting, watch the compliance, not the verbals


so, in summation, ask her out, if she says no, move the fuck on, no point in becoming emotionally invested in someone who refuses to invest in you in the least, no amount of jedi mind tricks and voodoo wizardry will help you here, if you are using mystery method, understand the system is meant, TO HAVE SEX WITHIN 2 DAYS OF MEETING, not 4 weeks, not 1 year, not 2 months, 2 DAYS, dhvs, and negs create social disparity, so it creates the ''illusion'' that you are a cool, socially valuable person, you are a social leader, there for you have the ''cool'' aspect handled, if you are cool, then it is ok to sleep with you, as long as you are good looking enough, and have some proof to back up the cool lifestyle that you live, this is the premiss behind MM, you try to get every girl you find attractive not one, because one will lead you to become needy, ''cool guys'' with options, are not needy, because why do you need to sleep with a girl, when you already are cool and have 5 other girls trying to sleep with you, if it takes longer then two weeks to sleep with a girl, or she is not allowing you to get any compliance, it is time to put her on the backburner and go meet other girls, that do invest for you, there are certainly more out there, you just have to man up, and go practice, and stop putting so much effort into one girl, it is all hotties, not one hotties,

be like a damn spider setting a web, catching all the flies you can, once a girl is laying you, sure invest in her and forget about the other girls if you want, but if you are in a dry spell, one at a time, is not productive to your goal of having sex, and will only eventually turn you into a really needy guy who sub-communicates this through his actions, and as most of us know neediness is the furthest thing from attractive to most women

WELL THERE YA GO, GOOD LUCK