Hb just got out of relationship.



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PostPosted: Thu Dec 01, 2011 10:40 am 
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Short story -
HB who obviously likes me just broke up with her bf and I want to know how long would you guys wait before responding to the IOI's to not seem like a rebound ?

Long story for those who are interested -
I've been friends with this girl for a while by choice but recently noticed she has been having boyfriend problems , due to his insecurity and immaturity on not being able to handle the fact that his gf ( now ex ) has male friends , I know this girl and she would be killed by guilt if she ever cheated on a bf yet has been sending me IOI's since around Halloween when we went as a group to an amusement park (without her bf) , and hung out on my birthday and such. Today I quickly noticed she was sad and her bf didn't come to class, apparently she had broke up with him yesterday. I made eye contact with her during class and she smiled ,blushed and looked away quickly.

Only her close female friends know they broke up but one of them decided to tell me about it.

I think I may just invite her for a drink or something after class to get her mind off him and to push myself out of the friendzone?


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 01, 2011 12:36 pm 
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You aren't really asking for anything here buddy, thats why no one has responded?

Reread your post and figure out what question you want answered.

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PostPosted: Thu Dec 01, 2011 1:00 pm 
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Don't think of it as a rebound, but instead an upgrade.

You could even tell her that, "I don't want you to think of me as a rebound though... so let'$ just call it an upgrade"

She obviously was bored with him, and that is why she has been displaying interest in you. Jab at her, it will take her mind off him.

I just thought of an approach you could take...
"I heard you and ___ broke up." Her response. "Breaking up sucks... but it$ kind of a good thing" why? "Because now weeee can get to know each other.. on a deeper level. I've wanted that chance for a minute now, but I always assumed you were too classy to cheat on your man."


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PostPosted: Fri Dec 02, 2011 1:21 am 
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thanks to both of you , I'll be seeing her tomorrow :wink:

I guess she was bored, they didn't hang out and he would follow her like a lost puppy.

I'll consider it if I don't have anything left to say since I don't want to bring up the ex as much as possible they are the type of couple that break up for a day or two and get back together without anyone noticing but this time it seems like it was her last straw. ( still don't want to take any chances )


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PostPosted: Fri Dec 02, 2011 4:49 am 
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Let me know how it goes.


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PostPosted: Mon Dec 05, 2011 5:51 am 
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One slight problem here now, since she just got out of a relationship it seems like she's scared to get attracted to me since she's been a good friend for a while and knows i tend to make girls fall for me then never do anything with them ( I have seducer's paradox )

when I used to joke around and say ex.
me : Why are you so beautiful (;
hb: ohh idk , I just am ;D
me: Your beauty is going to end up taking my heart.
hb: well as long as it's only mine

now its more along the lines of

me : insert corny line here
hb : shush it , tries to change subject

Now that she doesn't have a bf barrier and is probably still confused from just ending a long relationship she's probably scared of any feeling of rejection.

Should I AFC her with dates showing her that she means more than other girls OR

Should I freeze out , talk to other girls yet tell her best friend that I see something different in her friend but to not tell her ( girls never keep secrets so it'll end up reaching her indirectly )


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PostPosted: Mon Dec 05, 2011 4:12 pm 
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Quote:

Now that she doesn't have a bf barrier and is probably still confused from just ending a long relationship she's probably scared of any feeling of rejection.

Should I AFC her with dates showing her that she means more than other girls OR

Should I freeze out , talk to other girls yet tell her best friend that I see something different in her friend but to not tell her ( girls never keep secrets so it'll end up reaching her indirectly )
My friend..

I think it would be safe to assume she still has a bf barrier up, that is what the confusion, fear of rejection, loneliness, etc is from.

FREEZE OUT. Definitely the right approach, because for two reasons.. One, if she sees you with other HBs then the whole pre selection instinct kicks in, she will be more attracted to you. You hanging around other girls will show her you're not an AFC. But.. What you want to do when she sees you with another HB is give her a look. Like she is the one you'd rather be chilling with, use your imagination I'm sure you know what I mean; give her "the eye".

2ndly, if she doesn't end up hooking up with you then you aren't totally left high and dry.. You were out gaming others in the process. No loss.

But my friend, do you really like this girl in a LTR kind of way? And you said she is kind of a friend right? Maybe you should let her wounds heal first.. I would recommend the freeze out tactic. Use push/pull for sure, give her a little of your charming attention then pull away for a few days. Repeat. Then ask her out on a "simple" date. Meaning no dinner, movie, none of that shit because it reeks of "I want you sooo bad". DLV hardcore.

Bring her out for an ice cream, or a hot cocoa (instead of coffee, be different)
Being in a public place for a light convo won't scare the shit out of her. She will feel free and open to leave at any time without awkwardness, and that's what you want. Lower her guard.

Hopefully I gave you some good points.. Good luck man, tell me how it goes..

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PostPosted: Mon Dec 05, 2011 5:08 pm 
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I had this situation with two guy friends who liked me. One freaked me out; the other I dated for a year. The situation itself matters less than you'd think. If the girl likes you, she'll be into you.


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