Not getting more sexual contact as the relationship grows?



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PostPosted: Wed Nov 21, 2007 5:02 pm 
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Benn chilling with a girl i met sarging about a week ago, and its going ok so far. She has shit tested me a few times, and i have shit tested her. One was a strange phone which has got to have come from her or one of her friends: "Hey i met u the other night at xxxxxxx, my name is xxxxxx, i want to see if u wanted to hang out...." which i responded with "im seeing someone, sorry". Had to be a shit test from her since that night the mystery caller was refering to i had not given my number to ANYONE.

Anyways, most everything has gone good. We have hung out every night since we met (I know, i know that is proboly a mistake).

Problem here is I keep trying to escalate her sexually and she really wont let me get past making out with her. I cant even touch anything. Never been with a girl like this before. I can wait for F, but i would expect her to become more sexual with me with all the time we have spent together. Its confusing me. Do i keep trying hard to get some sexual escalation or do i step way back and stop givingher IOI's for a while and get her to try.

She seems like an honest, sweet, inteligent girl....i definatly could see myself with her. But im not sure about the sexual escalation....?

Kinoescalator


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PostPosted: Wed Nov 21, 2007 5:45 pm 
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I think you need to take a two steps forward, one step back approach. Make out. Then, without trying to cross any new borders, just stop and do something else. Get out the checkers board. Pull out a book of Madlibs. When she asks what's up, you can say you just feel like hanging out with her today, but not anything else. Her brain will turn inside out trying to figure this one out. The idea you want to get across to her is you're not just hanging out with her for sex. Then, after a while, if the vibe is right, maybe give her a kiss. Nothing more. Back to business. Then after a while, maybe a hug. In other words, keep the kino going. This will give you feedback. If she responds, go for it . . . for a while, then pull back again.

Keep this up and she will very likely tear your clothes off and take you to Mars and back. :lol:

Communicate non-verbally that you aren't just into her for sex (even if you are). And when things progress, you be the one to slow things down. You are controlling the pace, not her, but starting and stopping at your whim.

Good luck.

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PostPosted: Wed Nov 21, 2007 6:33 pm 
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consider a freeze out. give her a little more attention then you have, in a way thats not annoying or clingy, and then next time she shuts you down, freeze her out, even if its just for 10 minutes and then she opens up a bit, or a few days so she realizes how much your attention means to her and she (idealy, this isn't 100% effective) will hopefully come back crawling to ya on all fours.


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