Hello to everyone, i hope im posting this on the adequate category, if this post is somewhat in the wrong spot, i give yo an apology.

Im kinda new into the game, and in trying to get a social life anyways, in my years as an earlier teen i had almost no relationship or whatsoever with anyone, and i barely have any kind of social relation on my home, just now, a very few months ago i've decided to become a social person, but as a non social life gave my personality some positive aspects than can help me as an novice in the game (total lack of personal shyness) i also have some weak aspects like social shyness and difficulties to responding insults in any form, have them refined or just blunt and vulgar.

I`ve perceived how people can get very hostile when you are trying to build a new "self" especially if you are building it on the spot, and how many people just silently start to excluding those who are not fit form their groups, since i have almost no knowledge about the kind of emotions handled in every day social aspects, i have been thinking that if i am to have the means to strive correctly in my quest for becoming a more open persona at the very least i need some basic data about how to defend my self from this type of negative people (very sociable on the outside)

Can i get some advice??

I have notice this certain aspects on my self when people start their passive aggressive behavior

-i have bad clothes (but other people get dressed even worse and that doesn't seem problem to them)
-im speaking more than usual (and thats not much really)

-i still tend to have a little serious character (not that i mind, but is difficult just to suddenly be all happy and party) and as soon i try to express an emotion they take it too serious

Thats for now, some of my problems, i apology for mi bad English, i still need to read some Shakespeare :3

i thank you

The first thing I notice is that you're completed fixated on what you're BAD at... You need to change your focus.

Tell you what, you tell me what you're GOOD at, and I'll give you a few pointers on how to translate that into confidence and social prowess.

_________________
-- Do not meddle in the affairs of wizards,
For you are CRUNCHY, and good with milk. --

well thats quite complicated, i think i still have a lot to learn about my strong characteristics, yet you have gave me a really good hint, i will change my focus.

Thank you

1. The more Shakespeare you read, the better.

2. Don't build a new self. All that you need is discipline. Pick up new hobbies and don't give up. Harness the power of your serious character.

One thing I've learned (as I have a simliar serious character) is that people are VERY sensitive, and can often times mis-read, mis-interpret and disreguard someone based on one small thing they say or how they say it. Just last night actually, I got referred to as "antagonistic" by simply asking a bartender "can I have my tab please?" by a girl I had just met. You find yourself asking "where is that coming from?" How can I possibly change peoples interpretation of me when I don't even realize i'm "coming off" this way.

Phsycology is a mystical thing. I've even been referred to as "un-approachable" before, and people who know me best will tell you I'm the most easy going, fun loving down to earth person you will ever meet. Sometimes I think it's even in your facial expressions and tone of voice. I'm also extremely intelligent and confident, and lot's of times I think that get's mistaken for hostility or arrogance. Focus on the positive attributes you have. Recognize what you're doing to cause those reactions, and put a positive spin on them and people will start coming to you, I can testify that it works.

This guy is right. We live in an over-feminized culture that aims for social approval and avoids conflict at all cost. So even asking for a tab is perceived as "antagonistic", because it puts some sort of negative charge on you. Thus places the obligation of playing nice guy on you to do something to counter this negative charge. Thus forcing you to do something in the benefit of that girl to show your altruism. This is all part of living in a dying civilization.