Confidence



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 Post subject: Confidence
PostPosted: Tue Nov 20, 2007 4:30 am 
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Joined: Tue Nov 13, 2007 3:30 am
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Yahoo Messenger: djizzle28@yahoo.com
Location: tennessee
I'm new to this forum and to pickup in general.I know that some people on this forum are naturals,but I'm not.Everytime I see a hot girl,I want to say something,but I'm scared of rejection,so I don't say anything.And when they sat something to me first,I act like I'm not interested for the exact same reason.How do I get my confidence up and get over my fear of rejection?


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 Post subject: Natural
PostPosted: Tue Nov 20, 2007 6:46 pm 
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Joined: Sat Oct 20, 2007 6:58 pm
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Location: Nashville
What you are feeling is a completely natural reaction. It's a hardwired response into our lives. From the beginning of time men have felt this way. The feeling of rejection is very real, and includes emotional pain. This is a very real thing! First off, you have to either reprogram yourself to reassociate your feeling or trick yourself in a sense. The feeling of reaction coupled with the fact that in a small social circle if you're rejected other women will know about it and thus not like you as well. Is some of this hitting home with how you feel? It does to pretty much everyone on this forum.

Mastering or Supressing your emotional responses to your own thoughts is tough to get use to doing. I'll be the first one to tell you I'm still learning to do it. It takes a while to truely get a handle on yourself. What I do in the field, is follow the 3 second rule. Simply stated: from the moment YOU see a women or set you go open them. Regardless of eye contact or anything else. Just go up and talk to them. If you wait your mind has time to think of all the awful things that probably won't happen but you'll convince yourself not to do it.

She's not going to physically hurt you for talking to her. And the typical AFC response if she's not interested is to turn those feeling inward. What I am suggesting is adapt the "It doesn't matter attitude." Ever see pro-wrestling? The Rock would say, "It doesn't matter what your name is." The mental concept is that you are so secure and cool that it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks, you talking to them to amuse yourself. If they aren't interested their loss.

Again, its tough handling yourself. Stick to the 3 second rule, (1-2-3-GO)even if you ask her what time it is, for a stick of gum, pencil or whatever. Just try and start conversations and be social.

You can do it!

J SMOOTH


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Nov 21, 2007 3:19 am 
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Yes,I've seen pro wrestling.It's my favorite sport as a matter of fact.So what you're saying is that I should just adopt the Rock's who gives a damn what people think attitude?I think I can do that.I usually do that most of the time,except when I'm attracted to a girl.


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 Post subject: You got it
PostPosted: Wed Nov 21, 2007 1:02 pm 
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You got it! Okay, who's the center of your reality? You are! Exactly, have the rocks "I'm the center of my world, and I don't give a damn what you think attitude around women." When you do that you won't come across as showing too much interest at first. Women pickup on that confidence and like it.

J SMOOTH


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Dec 14, 2007 5:36 pm 
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You need to tell yourself constantly your the man and also realize you have nothing to lose by talking to women. It's all reward even if you fail you learn and if you get her than thats even better. Remember their a 6.5 billion people on the planet so if you mess up you can just start again.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Dec 21, 2007 4:38 pm 
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Joined: Mon Dec 03, 2007 9:04 am
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Location: Nottingham
Quote:
You need to tell yourself constantly your the man and also realize you have nothing to lose by talking to women. It's all reward even if you fail you learn and if you get her than thats even better. Remember their a 6.5 billion people on the planet so if you mess up you can just start again.
There's a tendancy to take a freeze out or a negative result personally. Guys need to realise that a woman isn't getting mad at you personally or disliking you as an individual - they don't even know you to do that (Unless they're particularly unpleasant - in which case thank them for giving you the heads up and exit quick!) - If a woman reacts in a negative way, they're getting mad at the situation they think you're about to put them in - whether that's a string of crappy chat up lines, pestering them, spiking their drinks whatever. It's not YOU - it's what the woman thinks you're going to do that gets the reaction.

Second, the woman has forgotten about you within 10 minutes, or at least once the next guy has been blown out by her. You're just not that important in her world. Just like Wild One said, move on dude. It really is only as big a deal as YOU make it. Let's keep some perspective: You've gone up to a complete stranger and tried to get familiar to the point where you get to touch her in the bathing suit area. And she's said no. SO WHAT? I mean really - so what? There's plenty of guys in the world that would say you're SUPPOSED to fail, so if you have to leave empty handed you don't have to take it as a personal attack or a question over your manhood. It doesn't mean you're going to die old alone and a virgin with a stack of old Wonder Woman comics as your only friend. All it shows is that the woman you approached is a lousy judge of character.

Last, expanding on what Wild One said - YOU LEARN FROM YOUR MISTAKES. You learn MORE from a single freeze or crash than you do from 100 closes - If that's what you choose to do. Every negative result literally makes you a better PUA if you properly debrief yourself on what went wrong. If 'wrong' is the right word to use! Hell, you should be thanking a woman for blowing you out! (Ok, maybe not! :P)

Unless you're approaching the love of your life, going to marry her and live happy ever after in a cottage with roses over the door, who really gives a crap if you don't close? Game is about getting WOMEN - plural. Not necessarily that one woman you're approaching right now.

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Always Outnumbered, Never Outgunned


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