Well, we are hanging out again later today. Just watching a movie or something at her place. Still hoping not to be friendzoned, so I will keep up kino and such, but im wondering if you have any last minute tips, or things to watch out for to avoid coming off as just a friend.

New question

My ex who teased me after we broke up (I really broke up with her after a year because of personal troubles in my life), searched validation with me and found it. We were supposed to see each other again this coming December (because I had to move far away from where she lived).

Basically, we weren't together anymore starting April 2011. I kinda moved on and was really happy I broke up with her. All throughout April and May, she kept calling me and sending me emails telling me she loved me and would do anything to get me back. I refused for a bunch of reasons, some associated to her, most associated to what was going on in my life at that time.

Anyhow, from May to August, I didn't have many news from her. Then, she kind of popped out of nowhere, and we started speaking frequently (once or twice per week, even though there's a huge time difference between where we lived). We even re-ignited what we used to do before we broke up and after we were in a LDR, e.g. phone sex and cyber sex. She started again calling me "my love" and repeated the loved me as well.

Anyways, around mid-October, she told me she was going to visit me in December. She asked how long she could stay, saying she wanted to stay for a long time since we hadn't seen each other for a while. She wanted to stay for two weeks. At that same time, she did a small jealousy crisis about a girl that I added on Facebook (like wtf?!!). And she also asked me a serious question: are we together, and if not, can we be back together? So I said that we weren't together and it seemed strange/unrealistic to "get back together" over an internet video call. She then asked me another important question: "what should I do if a guy asks me out on a date"? So as a gentleman, not wanting to constrict her, I told her to do what she wanted but reminded her that we were going to see other soon and it would be a pity to mess things up. She seemed to agree and understand.

Anyways, we started to plan her visit. And out of the blue, during the second week of November, she told me she could only stay for a weekend or four days maximum instead of two weeks. I kinda of flipped off understanding that she had played me completely, and made me hope for something that wouldn't come. I basically told her to get fuck herself.

She asked for excuses because what I said was mean, etc. She also said she would stay more like a week. So I gave an apology.

Then two weeks ago, while we were video calling, and I rushed home to be on time, she after about one hour in the call, she said she had something important to say:

"Remember that question I asked you about a month ago asking what I should do if someone were to asked me out?
- Yeah, so?
- Well, I've been dating that guy for about a month now, and we've been fucking for two weeks.
- (Sarcastic and pissed without showing it) Oh, well that's good.
- Yeah it is, you know, sex is also good."

What a fucking bitch.

And then she asked, really sincerely: "But can we still see each other? I really want to see you, it's been so long." So I said: "if you come to sleep on the couch, don't come." She got pissed, started crying, but when I asked her why she was crying, she of course said "i don't know". Yet another slut tactic to try and cool things down.

Anyways, I'm over that cunt now, it's been two weeks and I froze her completely.

What happened yesterday if the purpose of my question. She sent me an email saying that from my Facebook info, everything seems to be going great and that she's really happy for me. From the email, I don't see a reason to reply, because there isn't even a god damn question she's actually asking me.

That why I'm looking for bro consulting:

Should I:
1. answer her a quick "Okay thanks bye.", just to answer?
2. answer her remind her that she broke my heart and acted like a slut and tell her I consider her email pointless?
3. Simply not answer her, because her email doesn't seek an answer.

Thanks for your input guys!

boundaries .. escalate.. and enjoy.. just vibe and do your thing , if you get arousal just focus on it. look maybe she doesn't want a relationship right now , give away control and start controlling yourself... just be who you want to be and let her decide if she likes you... im not telling you to be passive and not kiss her... im telling you to relax , vibe and do what you want to do and what you want to say...

in other words ..trust the experience , tell her literally you trust her.

give away control over the interaction and her... and be in the moment.. enjoy it

_________________
AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
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jezus christ what a immature moron she is ..

so she dates this guy and tries to make you jealous .. or is she just trying to make you jealous ? .. she's also crying when you refused her. I see many IOI for such a disinterested woman. you are attached man .. you know her.. so i dont know if you should contact her or not. chances are high that you would fuck her when she visits , actually quitte high.

is it worth the trouble ? i mean is she worth it ? what do you want ? she sounds like a immature person to me. to be honest .. you do give a fuck and you are not entirely over her , otherwise you wouldn't come here asking for advice - that means your judgment is clouded by emotions to a certain degree...i understand your questions .. what does she want and is she sincerely interested ? or is she just fucking around using you as a blanket ?

do not tell people to fuck off .. you regret it.. do not tell her she broke your heart , if she is playing with you she gets satisfaction out of this. both 3 of your options sound emotional , just wait a day or 2 and look back to your options. Right now i would just ask what she wants and why she's contacting you.

from a game perspective i would say you can fuck close ?
from a relationship perspective i would say she's being immature ?
from a mans perspective i would say fuck that shit.. what does she wants ?

or

you could go out .. meet another girl .. post pics on your facebook and start a new life

you are clearly angry because you let her fuck with you .. but that is your fault, you are repsonsible for your own experience.. do not express anger because that will give you personal regression... rather be assertive and convey what you want and what you really need.

_________________
AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
questions about herbal medicine here-vp582526.html#582526

Thanks for your good questions, which restart my thinking process. I feel anger because she played with me and I didn't see it coming. I didn't think she could actually pull that on me.

Indeed, I might not be completely over her yet, but that will come soon. I don't care if I f-close her, I already have a zillion times and she's definitely not worth it! She's not worthy of me. She doesn't deserve me.

I won't tell her to fuck off. I'll wait until the bread absorbs the sauce in the pan, and find something to answer, or not answer. I'll see.

Anyhow, I just moved to a new place, and my initial though was to start all over. You just helped me confirm it's the best thing to do.

Anyhow,

@Lodewijkp-I would like to use your experience on my case.

Started dating a girl 3 weeks ago, she's 22 I'm 29. Every time when I see her its me who is coming to her to say hello and kiss her, she never makes a move first, 3 days ago I saw her last time and pull test on her to not show interest in her, for the last 3 days I didn't call her neither than she, Im just wondering if we are at the stage to check who is chasing who, and who has stronger 'game' or there is some other hidden meaning of it, that I can't see.
A.

Would you mind elaborating on boundaries? I'm fairly new to this. We did make-out again tonight. She started talking about relationship stuff again, and it seems as if she isn't ready for one at this point in time, but at the same time she isn't opposed to being friends with benefits it seems. I'm going to continue to be myself, but at this point we're not exclusive, I'm hoping that doesn't become a problem. I'm thinking I would like her to be my girlfriend again, but I think this period will be good for me individually as well. I was relaxed tonight, I guess I just have to play the waiting game to find out if she likes me enough to be exclusive again. Last weekend she said she loved me, but was afraid to be with me for other reasons, it wasn't because she didn't want to, but it turns out this is just another case of girls saying things because they are emotional.

Hey there! This is basically a question about a LDR I am going through right now.

Basically, a girl who used to live in town moved away and at that point when she moved we became good friends. Simple, right? Eventually we started realizing we had feelings for each other. Problem is she can't come to Canada, and i can't go to the U.S. to see her, until maybe a year or two from now when she's moving back to Canada, and most likely coming to live with me.

Is it worth still keeping in touch with her?

Yes, you can keep in touch with her. I would just watch out and make sure you don't talk too much, or you might fall close to in love with her, and have oneitis syndrome, even though you're not physically together.

Actually, I think that's starting to happen... I've noticed the way I am starting to think and act when talking with her. Oneitis is starting to kick in hard.

The best cure for that is talking less.. Is it not?

the only thing that you need to do right now is be truthful to yourself.

from the nature of your post, i can tell that you are not just "gaming" this girl,

you actually have deep feelings for her, which, by the way, happens a lot in a LDR,

because you develop a deep emotional bond from all of the time spent talking and sharing with one another.

the point is this, my friend:

long distance relationships don't work.

i'm sorry to tell you that.

but it is true.

you can not maintain and grow a true relationship with a person that you never get to see, touch, kiss, fuck, etc.

the truth about LDRs is that, in order for them to work you have to have at least one of the following conditions present:

1. concrete plans and a timeframe for when she will come to be with you

or

2. concrete plans and a timeframe for when you will go to be with her

it sucks, i get it.

but the thing is, this situation is not going to pay off for you for a few reasons, and they are important, so listen up...

first...the distance...the only reason a person would deal with "the distance" is because they are actually "in love" with that person and consider him or her to be "The One".

so basically, LDRs are a long drawn out case of One-Itis that rarely pays off. if you think about it...

second...your emotions...you are clearly tied up in this girl and have deep feelings, so that takes "gaming" her off the table.

it's clear that you are affected by her antics and her fucking other dudes is something that you just are not okay with. that's fine. accept it, but don't lie to yourself and try to be cool with something that will make you miserable.

and finally...the logistics of it...you may NEVER get to be WITH this girl. can you really accept that? truly?

if not, why prolong your agony. if it is "gaming" girls that you seek, find ones locally that will actually pay off. actual affection. dates, movie nights, long walks on the beach, fucking her doggie style til the sun comes up, etc. LOL

if it is "love" that you are seeking, find it again with someone near you where you can actually explore that.

long story short...LDRs are a fantasy, and without concrete and genuine plans of making them manifest into a REAL relationship, they all end in disaster and heartache.

it's your pride that will hurt more than anything once you figure this out and accept it, because you will realize that you have been lying to yourself and living a painful fantasy that has had virtually no payoff.

move on, my friend.

to greener pastures.

_________________
what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

Here's the thing:
I dumped my ex on last december, lived satan's life 'til june, that's when she asked me to get back together, I said no...
But since she's my son's mother, she's been sleeping here from june to september..
On august she said she didn't know what she want anymore, and asked me to wait, when she said that, it automatically made me want her back(silly game), so she was above me in the 'game' once again, she started working at a job I HATE so much, so she asked me back in october, I said:
' you gotta leave your job'
she goes:
'I wont, now I think about myself in the first place, then I think about you, im my priority now'
But nevermind, I accepted and we got back, since then my life is hell, I have to accept almost everything or there will be a fight when she says something like 'you want everything in your way'.

Last saturday I got agressive in the middle of a conversation, fought her, fought my family, broke everything in the house, and she said 'We ain't getting back while you are being agressive like that'.

Yesterday, I ran into her on the streets and just said hi, then she came after me and said 'can I call you tonight? I need to talk to you'
I go: 'NO! What you gotta say, say it to my face..'
She: "So ill call you to set up our 'conversation date'.

Well, she didnt
NOW, WHAT?
What do I do to reverse the polarity? I mean, win this game, and yeah I have feelings for her...

Lodewijkp and everyone i'm really long in trouble with this one...7 months and I'm nowwhere.

When we hooked up, first month was great,she was really into me, we travel a lot,attraction,comfort and so on....everything was great.Than suddenly she just close herself.After that i was 100/100 open with her couse i felt strong inlove with her I said EVERYTHING every emotion.And 3 months she gives me love and than take away gives me love and than take away,she tells me that she loves me but she can't be open 100/100 with me.Shes telling me that the reason is why shes like that is that I don't understand who she really IS and that we are not compatible together.And i can't decribe her that we are not compatible couse shes afraid of opening her mind and connection. Shes now gone for 1 year of studying in other country and I can't see her.She did amazing stuff for me , sending me gift what she made etc,but i really can't open her mind with words.We will see each other on new years eve for 8 days.She told me that maybe she will be studying there another year after this,and i really don't now anything couse i really thing that she loves me couse i was open with her 100/100 and didn't lose her but didn't get her 100/100 eitherway.After shes being so cold to me and put her guards up I can't do nothing PUA couse i'm afraid i lose her shes soo introverted

Like MACK said in some post..... my thoughts are telling me that's she doesn't need me ,but my instinct is so intensive and telling me that she really needs and sometimes it hurts so bad

Ohh and guys I forgot to ad that this girl is one of those who drag attention from other guys, few already from work ask her to go out before she went out with me, they are always around her, huging her and etc. Today, nothing again, I came to work, nothing, when she was leaving she only said generaly goodbye and went, she's trying to check how strong I am or I'm just squaring my time. What my step should be I'm asking my friends?

don't project your own insecurities onto someone else's desires.

_________________
what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!