I went out with two different girls last week. I had fun, we talked, made lots of jokes, moved to different bars, etc. I flirted and gave lots of kino.

But at the end both told me the same thing, that I was the kind of person they would hang out with because I was fun, but not someone that they would date. I asked why and they both gave almost the exact same answer, that I was not very communicative and they couldn't tell when I was being serious or joking. They said they wanted someone who could "communicate" with them. One girl I even kissed at the end, but she pulled a way after a few times and said it was weird like kissing her friend. wtf?

Seriously!? I am at a loss here! Did I do too much of what I thought was attraction and note enough comfort. I met both of them through okc and set up dates that way. One I had built on and off rapport with over 2 months, the other I had messaged two days before.

i totally understand what you're into.

check out this article
how-to-get-out-of-the-friend-zone-vt121 ... highlight=

I can promise you that the reason she gave you "not very communicative and they couldn't tell when I was being serious or joking" is not the reason they arnt attracted to you. Don't listen to what girls feel comfortable telling you in these situations , its usually what they think they should think but has nothing to do with their reality.

The most likely scenarios are a combo of the 2 below

1. Your online persona was different then you real one. So when you were on OKC you came off as one thing. Then when you met them you came off as comfort and rapport guy.

if this is the case make sure whatever you put online you can back up. I always mix up my persona with sexual vibe emails so they know im gonna be fairly dominant, alpha, and somewhat sexually aggressive when I show up. I do this without promoting a needy perv vibe. I want to weed out as many problem chicks as I can on the front end.

2. Dont provide too much comfort and rapport until you have closed the deal. That means your not supplicating them, agreeing to everything they say, and trying to make them feel good. Affection is not attraction. As I always say you want some tension and mystery pre-sex.

Im also gonna have to write a long article one of these days on how "Kino" is very much overrated in dating situations, and how in many cases it defuses sexual tension.

Here is the transcript from our first and only chat on OKC:


I know its long, don't read it if you don't want too!

I'm trying to find ways to demonstrate more alpha male characteristics and sexuality, i think that might have been lacking?


(6:37:30 pm)DavidDaman:Hi cutie
(6:37:49 pm)[OKC GIRL]:well hello
(6:38:38 pm)DavidDaman:you're going to answer without looking at my profile!?
(6:38:48 pm)DavidDaman:finally someone on okcupid who does not care about looks!
(6:38:50 pm)[OKC GIRL]:no well thas no fun
(6:39:17 pm)DavidDaman:i know, i never do either
(6:39:39 pm)DavidDaman:y only 2 grainy pictures?
(6:39:53 pm)DavidDaman::)
(6:39:57 pm)[OKC GIRL]:my friend picked those for me....
(6:40:21 pm)DavidDaman:lol, did you even make your profile?
(6:41:04 pm)[OKC GIRL]:i did most of it ha
(6:41:21 pm)DavidDaman:hmm, how has it worked out so far?
(6:41:25 pm)[OKC GIRL]:so david?
(6:41:36 pm)[OKC GIRL]:eh alright i guess
(6:41:38 pm)DavidDaman:uh-oh, that sounds formal
(6:41:51 pm)[OKC GIRL]:or dave? or d-man?
(6:41:52 pm)DavidDaman:and you are neom!?
(6:42:00 pm)DavidDaman:d-train actually
(6:42:19 pm)DavidDaman::)
(6:42:30 pm)[OKC GIRL]:jen is good or jennifer although only teachers call me that
(6:42:43 pm)DavidDaman:hmmm how about jenny! :p
(6:43:05 pm)[OKC GIRL]:sure
(6:43:36 pm)DavidDaman:are you a bartender?
(6:43:58 pm)[OKC GIRL]:nope...
(6:44:34 pm)DavidDaman:haha, i just quikcly saw your home photo
(6:44:40 pm)DavidDaman:thats what it kind of looked like
(6:45:56 pm)DavidDaman:lol, are you really reading it?
(6:45:59 pm)[OKC GIRL]:that was my chicago home
(6:46:52 pm)[OKC GIRL]:reading what?
(6:47:19 pm)DavidDaman:my profile
(6:47:40 pm)DavidDaman:It tells me everytime you visit
(6:49:10 pm)[OKC GIRL]:oh yea i figure i can't be goin in completely blind....
(6:49:28 pm)DavidDaman:?
(6:50:09 pm)[OKC GIRL]:so how do you like nyc or brooklyn?
(6:50:19 pm)DavidDaman:Love it
(6:50:32 pm)DavidDaman:I'm from nebraska, so it was a big change
(6:51:46 pm)DavidDaman:where are you from?
(6:52:02 pm)[OKC GIRL]:philadelphia
(6:52:35 pm)[OKC GIRL]:hmmm can't say i met anyone from nebraska so you'd be the first!
(6:53:00 pm)DavidDaman:haha, easy tiger, we haven't met yet!
(6:53:24 pm)DavidDaman:Do you like Philadelphia or NYC better?
(6:54:04 pm)[OKC GIRL]:i like a little of both for the time being but can't settle down in either of these parts
(6:54:24 pm)DavidDaman:hmmm, why is that?
(6:54:29 pm)[OKC GIRL]:philly is am great town to visit and come home to to see my family
(6:55:03 pm)[OKC GIRL]:and nyc is great for nightlife and social settings but i love the slow paced life as well
(6:56:03 pm)DavidDaman:Where would you want to end up eventually
(6:56:04 pm)DavidDaman:?
(6:56:19 pm)[OKC GIRL]:in another country....
(6:56:40 pm)DavidDaman:haha, why is that?
(6:56:47 pm)DavidDaman:Running away from something
(6:58:48 pm)[OKC GIRL]:i just like the lifestyles in otherv countries...
(7:00:05 pm)DavidDaman:You seem like a serious person
(7:01:15 pm)[OKC GIRL]:y is that....
(7:01:35 pm)[OKC GIRL]:i just know what i like
(7:01:56 pm)DavidDaman:Haha, its just the way you respond to questions
(7:02:01 pm)[OKC GIRL]:so what brings u to the city?
(7:02:10 pm)DavidDaman:I think I'm more playful than you
(7:02:15 pm)DavidDaman:Going to school
(7:03:09 pm)[OKC GIRL]:depends on the q i suppose:p
(7:03:42 pm)DavidDaman:Lol, don't try to put in a little ":p" to make me change my mind!
(7:03:57 pm)DavidDaman:What kind of question would make you playful?
(7:04:31 pm)[OKC GIRL]:ask me about food....
(7:05:27 pm)DavidDaman:Haha
(7:05:44 pm)DavidDaman:Do you think McD is a good first date choice?
(7:06:13 pm)[OKC GIRL]:mmm for coffee yes anything after that unless you wanna be friends then yes...
(7:06:40 pm)DavidDaman:wait what?
(7:07:25 pm)[OKC GIRL]:i mean if you only wanna be friends then yes take them there otherwise probably not
(7:08:02 pm)DavidDaman:lol
(7:08:15 pm)DavidDaman:where is a good place for a first date in nyc?
(7:08:27 pm)DavidDaman:(I usually do bars because I think they are more fun)
(7:09:23 pm)[OKC GIRL]:hmmmm honestly drinks coffee is pretty neutral and then somewhere you can talk is usually a good bet
(7:10:22 pm)DavidDaman:Lol, some people I've talked to like dinner, I think that is too much tough
(7:10:35 pm)[OKC GIRL]:yea i have not been to many bars in nyc so im the last person to ask...
(7:11:03 pm)DavidDaman:We should grab a drink then, I know a chill speakeasy
(7:12:42 pm)[OKC GIRL]:ok sure where is it?
(7:13:02 pm)DavidDaman:East village
(7:13:09 pm)DavidDaman:Near Delancy st
(7:13:24 pm)[OKC GIRL]:whats it called?
(7:13:39 pm)DavidDaman:Hang on
(7:14:20 pm)DavidDaman:"The Backroom"
(7:15:10 pm)[OKC GIRL]:awesome when r u not in school?
(7:15:51 pm)DavidDaman:Haha, I'm not in school this week
(7:15:58 pm)DavidDaman:Why i'm on OKCupid
(7:17:01 pm)DavidDaman:Would 9:00 tonight work?
(7:18:16 pm)[OKC GIRL]:tmw would be better?
(7:19:43 pm)DavidDaman:You're asking or saying its better ou?for y
(7:19:55 pm)[OKC GIRL]:i can explain better tmw...
(7:20:00 pm)DavidDaman:(mouse glitch)
(7:21:31 pm)DavidDaman:Lol, I think it should work
(7:21:37 pm)[OKC GIRL]:i just drove from toronto on an 11 hr drive in the rain a couple hrs ago... but there's a better story to that
(7:22:01 pm)DavidDaman:Lol, are you cheating on me already? We haven't even met :p
(7:22:40 pm)DavidDaman:jk, you can save it for later
(7:23:05 pm)[OKC GIRL]:very cute...im glad you can accept it early on :p
(7:23:41 pm)DavidDaman:Hey, just remember it will be an open relationship then
(7:23:57 pm)DavidDaman:We could have a foursome!
(7:24:22 pm)DavidDaman:Lets plan on 9:00, my cell is 338.336.3339, text me so we can coordinate

duplicate post

sean/david your trying to increase attraction via text, horrible idea.

Text is ok for rapport, establishing some credibility, and minor comfort. Not attraction, believe me i've tried.

Use text to set up dates an keep things from going state. All your attractors have to be demonstrated, en vivo, on the date.