Hi guys here's some stuff you probably shouldnt say to start a conversation on an online dating site:
I did say all of these and so far haven't had a hit, I'm still ironing out some creases.
Profile mentions she likes to wiggle:
Wiggling?! What, like to get out of the ropes in a hostage situation? The last hostage situation I was in they used plastic wire ties, fucking impossible to wiggle out of.
And if that sounds like a challenge, then my friend it is! I challenge you to wiggle out of a cable tie while under duress. I'm too tired to think about the circumstances in which you will be under duress, but it will probably be something that involves two fireworks with long fuses, your favourite teddy and some cheese wire, put the rest together yourself. I've sufficiently shown myself up so I will bid you goodnight. Ummm goodnight...
profile mentions she likes meat (WTF?):
the film zoolander
and the band incubus:
It sounds to me that you like meat a lot, I wouldn't want to be in a plane crash in the alps with you.
Which incubus album is your favourite, I bet you go for morning view. You look the type.
I was at a wedding the other month and I kept on pulling the magnum pose, I may have just ruined their wedding day. On the plus side I had a great time.
profile basically has a pic and alittle info:
It's a little difficult to read you, when you don't have a profile. so I'm going to take some guesses:
Your a Virgo
Love taking walks on the beach
your a kleptomaniac, obsessed with stealing copies of the Beatles greatest hits.
You love avocados and any other green fruit, but are allergic to duck eggs.
You play the recorder. Badly.
Am I close?
If I could push a button where 5 people died, but I actually got the broadband speed I was promised, I'd do it.
Also do you like marshmallows?!
she mentioned that her bit torrent was broken:
That would truly suck if my bit torrent broke. In fact why am I talking to you mine works just fine, :-p
she mentioned something about elephants:
Shit I walk around with an elephant too!! What colours yours?
She says she's an environmental ninja:
An environmental ninja?! Thats nuts. I wanted to be one of those once,
but I killed a squirrel with a ninja star while practising. I felt so guilty I had to hang up my sword (made from recycled paper mâché of course). I'm now an environmental office Clark I'm only allowed a stapler for obvious reasons.
If you need any help I have a spare ninja sword that I can lend you.
I think this chick might, just might swing both ways:
The most private thing your willing to admit is that: "your bi sexual"? I would never have guessed other than the 14 times you mentioned it in your summery.
I dated a bi sexual women it was weird that we both eyed up the same women in the bar. Now more importantly do you have an Italian accent if you don't it's a deal breaker for me I'm afraid.
picture of a hb10, little info:
Wow you are really hoping your looks are going to get you a message aren't you? Your profile tells me you have at least one friend and you like to drink, that's pretty thin.
Well I have at least one friend and also like to drink, we're so similar it's uncanny.
So what's your favourite colour and are you kinky, these are the only two important questions, I'm sure you'll agree. :-p
Hey, sorry I'm not normal but I have several twists. I'm afraid Im going to have to Vito your choice in jim Carey films, well you can have the mask that's pretty good, and maybe dumb and dumber that's also good, but the cable guy? Really? Really?! Message me back if you just have to know what my twists are.
a picture of her in a suitcase
and with a lizard:
Jesus, you can fit in a suitcase? I would love to take you on holiday, with the savings in airfare we could spend it on new and even more exotic lizards. I notice your fluent in French and german, I wouldn't take you to either of these places, just to make it a little more difficult for you.
Personally I prefer MC Escher he's more of a head fuck.
You seem quite aggressive for a little thing, but I could defiantly take you ;-p
What's your favourite shisha? I like blueberry.
Have you ever thought of putting your hair up I think it would give your head character.
I think I saw you in the bill, didn't you play a shoplifter?
profile says she works for playstation and has massive tits, blatantly showing them off:
Hey, I'm sorry to say I have an xbox. But maybe I can convert you? I will also have to introduce you to some decent films, there is no way that shawshank redemption should be in you top four films, I'll give you the lion king though it is awesome.
I'll have to be totally honest with you it was defiantly your eyes that caught my attention
basically I was bored and tried out loads of random stuff. I had fun anyway.
CHAT