Okay, she just left a few minutes ago. I'm trying to keep this girl as a booty call. She is really clingy though. Well, not overly clingy but just enough that I'm pretty sure she wanted to sleep over. I'm laying in bed naked with this girl and thinking, "damn, when does she leave?" Now, If i sound like an asshole then I'm sorry. I'm Not trying to be. She is sweet and all but not really that interesting and I don't want to deal with what ever happens the next morning when I'm trying to get up and go to work and she is still here laying around and I have to push her out before I leave. I'm sure that sucks and I don't want to deal with it.

Okay the situation was, I called her over to hang out, show some video project I'm working on and watch a movie. Basically all that means is "excuse to fuck". So we hang out for a few minutes and then off to my bed and i put on a movie. Just as it starts ... oh no .... the audio is off sync with the video (one of those burned dvds made from a divx rip). well shit i guess we cant enjoy this but since we are on the bed and its dark I mute the video and make out with her. I guess that was enough stalling to for her because she was ready to go. Anyway, after we are done (stellar performance by her, and pathetic week ass attempt by myself) I'm thinking to my self, "alright thats it, I want to be by myself now." And now we are back to the dilemma. She is here and she should be "not here".

Again, I'm sorry if is sound like a total dick, I'm a little buzzed from this cheap beer.

So my strategy was this. I try to keep the mood the opposite of the mood for sleeping. As she left to go to the bathroom I put the lights on and set up some upbeat music on low on my computer. Opened up a news article on Digg and popped open a beer. I tried my best to keep everything light and fun. Since I was not in my bedroom and in the light she had to get dressed. Step one accomplished. So I joke around about shit, and tell her I'm totally awake now and I'm feeling like working on a web project and then talk about how cool this next project is going to be so it seems natural and not like a "uber-hint". We talk about it for a few minutes and she was like, "okay, well I'm off, have a happy thanksgiving." Yes!!! I walk her down stairs to the front of the apartment building. As I do this, she says "hey you never gave me a massage" (I used to be a massage therapist for a year, its a great DHV). I say "maybe next time" as I'm thinking "shit that takes work and your a booty call".

Not trying to act like a evil asshole but come on!! Massage is like the one physical thing I do well and I want to save that for someone special.

Anyway, she is gone. Soo anyone ever had this problem? Am I totally off base for wanting to get her out of here? I hope not. Any people have any strategies for a similar situation? Was anything I said useful to anyone?

_________________
"Responsibility for our lives is something we never lose but which we often deny... You can blame whomever you wish, but you’re the one who must experience (or endure) the results." -Steve Pavlina (http://www.stevepavlina.com)

i dont know why you didnt hit it. i mean thats what this site is partly about; getting chicks to like you, and have a sexual relationship you

if you get this opportunity again, you should figure out a way to convey to her that you are looking for friends with benefits and nothing serious, the sooner she understands this the better.

_________________
"100 PERCENT FREE GUITAR LESSONS @ http://www.stringmania.blogspot.com" "I will turn your face to alabaster, when you find your servant is your master" - The Police - Wrapped around your finger."
Skittlepimp

Let me clarify since its not clear.

We fucked.

Sorry for that. I'm talking about afterwards I wanted her to leave.

_________________
"Responsibility for our lives is something we never lose but which we often deny... You can blame whomever you wish, but you’re the one who must experience (or endure) the results." -Steve Pavlina (http://www.stevepavlina.com)

LOL, I got that you fucked. And, I do understand what you're saying. However, I would have let her stay the night, then maybe got some more in the morning. Just cause she stays the night doesn't mean she's moving in

Also, you need to make sure she's clear on the fact that you don't want an exclusive relationship with her. Or, if you're scared to do that, at the very least find out what she's expecting, so you can gauge how you need to handle things.

ugh... I have to talk to her? Damn it. Isnt there a indirect way to comunicate this sort of thing so that I dont break the mood by sitting down and having a searious heart to heart about they way i feel and explicitly setting boundries and shit. Isnt there some form of documented game for post sex management?

It seems to me that up until this point, my intentions have been communicated completely indirectly which keeps things comfortable and takes pressure/responsibility off of her to have to make any hard decisions. Why does that have to change?

_________________
"Responsibility for our lives is something we never lose but which we often deny... You can blame whomever you wish, but you’re the one who must experience (or endure) the results." -Steve Pavlina (http://www.stevepavlina.com)

that is a good question.

Post sex, or even post great night out....how do you tell a girl that you are not looking for something exclusive - WITHOUT pushing her away or killing the mood (and ruining the chances to fclose)?

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[color=red:7c51ae7520]email is a better option: thelockestar@gmail.com[/color:7c51ae7520][/size:7c51ae7520]

LOL. Sorry fellas. If she's pushing for more the way it sounds, then the most indirect method I can see is for you to ask her what exactly she is wanting.

Think about it. Next time you want a booty call, or she wants one even, are you gonna be in the same awkward situation? Trying to devise ways to get her to leave, w/o actually telling her to leave?

This is most likely gonna repeat each time, with both of you feelin worse and worse after each time you have sex. That's a downward spiral with no way up.

She will end up starting to resent you, which of course, will kill the booty call anyway.

I mean, sure, you could lay there and turn your back to her, not say anything, and hope she gets the idea. Even that wouldn't turn out well. You could get up out of bed each and every time after the deed, but we've already covered how that would go.

So, the other option is to find out what exactly she is wanting. Who knows? Maybe she doesn't want anything serious like that after all? If she does, maybe she's willing to "give you time" while you "date around" until you're "ready to settle down".

But, you won't know until you talk to her.

Seriously, if want to call some chick to come over for a fuck and then leave, do it during the day time. Otherwise, just let her stay over or simply go over to her house. That way, you can leave on your terms.

Sounds to me like she complied with leaving pretty easily from what you said. The thing about a massage is just good foreplay, you really don't need to keep it up for a long time. She just wants you to touch her. If you were "pathetic" in bed, like you worded it, then maybe she wants to get some sort of value out of the FB relationship, otherwise she'll lose interest.

A good way to get rid of a FB for the night would be to just tell her you have to work early in the morning and have to wake her up then, so it might just be easier to call it a night. If you like kissing her, then make out with her some during this, its part of the post sex thing. If you make it so impersonal, its gonna make her lose interest, so keep it sexual and friendly, but not romantic. Like, while giving a massage, get sexual with it, don't light candles and put on soft music, put on some good makeout/sex music, start massaging and then move your hands down to her breast and between her legs and hop straight to sex. Sexual, not romantic, but it gives her the gratification that will make the relationship worth it for her.

_________________
"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye

Thats a good idea. Keep the control and make my intentions known via actions. I have heard this a couple of times from different people saying that It's better to do it at her house. then there is a trade off though because with her place she controls the logistics and her room could be full of state breaks item (items that remind her of things that might change her mood). Plus, you never know, she could live in a shit pile and it to embarrassed to have people over. However, the escape is just a "gotta do this thing" excuse away.

I could just, straight up, tell her to leave. that would make for a funny story. "Now leave, bitch!"

Seriously, I think the former is way way less awkward then the later. But hey I could be wrong.
Booty Calls don't last forever. Having it end is not what I'm worried about. It's her being to clingy that is what I'm worried about. In a way, having it wind down sounds like an acceptable solution.

.......

Unless ( and please bare with me here, just an idea), we devise new game for post sex management. How is having awkward moment post sex any different then having awkward moments trying to get sex? How is sitting her down and telling her that I want to just be booty calls any different then sitting her down and telling her how much I want to have sex with her (before we actually had sex). We have the right game plan for getting the girl. We just don't really have a developed game plan for shaping a relationship the way we want it.

L.A. Tripp, humor me here...

_________________
"Responsibility for our lives is something we never lose but which we often deny... You can blame whomever you wish, but you’re the one who must experience (or endure) the results." -Steve Pavlina (http://www.stevepavlina.com)

Wow... how do you know everything? Its really blowing my mind how good you are at this shit. Thats exactly the answer I was needing.

Yooooooou need to write a book.

_________________
"Responsibility for our lives is something we never lose but which we often deny... You can blame whomever you wish, but you’re the one who must experience (or endure) the results." -Steve Pavlina (http://www.stevepavlina.com)

Haha, thanks man! Its all about the psychology. I've enjoyed "people watching" as a hobby for many years, as well as having worked as a pizza delivery guy/phone answering guy, front till & drive-thru person at Tim Horton's (that's like the McDonald's of coffee in Canada) in 3 different stores and currently I repair and install phone and internet lines for business and residential customers. So, I've had a lot of experience interacting and watching people interacting.

I honestly believe that the best form of game, isn't using canned routines and openers and stuff like that, but just learning how to understand how people think and respond. I still tie some routines and opinion questions into my game, but in ways that it comes off as just being something I just thought of, because usually it is. I realise how I need to make people feel in order to get the results I want, so then I just figure out what needs to be said, to make them feel that way.

_________________
"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye

LMAO. No problem. You're humored. LOL, so you be the one that creates the "post game" . . . game. lol.

Naw I cant...... maybe I can ...... naw.. ... Ita a job for you and Rye Lee and the local gurus who have experience with this sort of thing. I'm still a baby at this. Yeh, I have been trying to go straight to internalization for my approach. I remember reading a about Tyler Durden in "The Game" and I really liked his style of approach. His "early work" didn't seem caned but very spontaneous. That's why I like your tips on the "post game" game because I can tell its coming from actual internalized social principals, it's not just "this worked before" type advice.

_________________
"Responsibility for our lives is something we never lose but which we often deny... You can blame whomever you wish, but you’re the one who must experience (or endure) the results." -Steve Pavlina (http://www.stevepavlina.com)