Ok, I admit it, I have a problem. I am finding it reasonably easy to pick a girl up, but difficult to turn her into a fuck buddy or even a day 2! Thing is when they leave they seem happy and up for meeting again, but somehow I put them of. Is it the fact that I give them indication of never wanting a relationship, or that I dont spend enough time on the comfort stage, or texting to often, the fact that I text usually instead of phoning, text to often, or my tactics?

Tactics, here is one email response I gave a girl that I had LMR with and didnt overcome. I first sent her a mail saying I hoped I didnt put her of. If you read it and offer advice on this and post pick up game Id really appreciate it.

Cheers
(Her reply to my first mail is below)





Alright prudy



Cant believe you reminded me its Saturday night! I pretend that life stops when I get stuck out here, your fucking evil. Thats the good thing about having overly sensible mates, you know your not missing anything while your away, then with right encouragement they go nuts when you come back.



Lol as I write a norwegian 50yo woman was speaking norge,"bla bla bla FUCK MY FUCKING TIGHT ASS bla bla bla"



Im fucking stuck out here for another while, bastards are doing it so they dont have to pay me overtime yet (I start officially in December). I cant believe I just used that line when its true lol, some girls think Im out here for months at a time. Anyway I am back weekend after next, maybe another hungover special?



What the fuck is mwah???




--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: sup barbie
Date: Sat, 17 Nov 2007 16:47:59 +0000


Hey Skanky!

life is grrrreeeeaaat!! hows things with u?? how are tings stuck in the middle of the sea?? lol

I had a really nice time on sunday dont be so daft! u werent coming on too strong lol ur just a horny wee devil! lot of tension from us both i think altho im a master genius and disguise mine better!

Bet u cant wait to get back on dry land NOT!

Well its saturday the ritual has begun u know the drill spend hours in the vain hope of looking beautiful then have 3 vodkas realise that u actually dont give a shit and then apply eyeliner to your lips and go home like a homeless hooker! its a great life babe!

Speak soon
have a kiss
mwah!
Melly xxx

1) Why would you ever seriously bring up your stance on a relationship this early? Did it ever occur to you that maybe she just wants to hookup? A lot of girls do...You can talk about relationships in a loose, figurative manner as in a fantasy sequence (Do you own a lot of shoes? Because my Tuscan villa only has 3 closets for women's shoes in the master bedroom, and I'll be damned if my wife puts her Jimmy Choo's where my spelunking shoes are supposed to go) but not seriously. If she brings it up seriously, deflect it with another line of conversation or something like the above so that it never becomes a serious topic. If it turns out the girl reiterates how much she's looking for a relationship by the 2nd day, she is going to be too high maintenance to handle, so ditch her.

2) Never EVER apologize. EVER. I cannot stress this enough. Why would you apologize for coming on too strong? SHE should apologize for not being won over by your charm, and you shouldn't emasculate yourself by begging her forgiveness for doing what she most certainly expects (hopes) of you. If you say you're sorry, you automatically shift the dynamic of your interactions with her so that she has the power to adminster her approval over your actions. You are the man. She EXPECTS you to be in control. Don't misinterpret this this as condoning being a jerk; just know that you're not doing anything wrong by coming on strong. It's called sexual tension. It is a good thing. And as you could see in that response, she clearly felt bad about the way she acted, too. So just don't bring it up in the future.

3) I don't ever do the email thing, so I can't really comment on strategy there, but as far as phone contact goes, keep it limited before day 2. I don't really care about timing as far as waiting to call a girl goes. Personally, I don't think it's relevant. If the girl is interested, she'll be flattered that you called her, so it's really just a matter of you not screwing it all up before the second time you see her. So either text her some brief and funny message and ask if she wants to get drinks or dinner or whatever you do on your day 2, or call her and figure it out over the phone with her, or leave a funny message and tell her to call you back. Ideally you pick up on a theme/joke from your first interaction. The point is you should keep this stage of the process as brief as possible. Cut the BS and just figure out a way to see the girl again. If she wants to see you she's going to text/call back. If she doesn't, you now have one more free night to meet someone hotter.

_________________
Howard Roark laughed.

Thanks for the reply and good advice. Im assuming they were rhetorical questions but I shall address your points anyway

1) I did it because I dont want her to get ideas in her head, I figured once she decided she wanted a relationship it would be hard to transform her into fuck buddy (I dont want to sleep with a load of women, I want a lot of buddys ). I just mentioned it in passing (after I knew I couldnt overcome LMR) then a while later talked about being buddys. What is your opinion on this? Should I have just left it out? Also lovely line about the shoes! You have me laughing so HBs must love it

2)Yep. I could explain why I felt I needed to say it, but truth is I wont do it again.

3) I actually dont like the email thing (as Im posting about it here you can see its not my strong point) but its the only way I have to comunicate while Im working 2-3 weeks at a time. Reading your post, I realise when I do text I never say anything funny, need to work on this. Any ideas??? What do I do on day 2s... I DONT KNOW lol. I havent had many despite getting my end away regularly. I have done the cooking thing and bowling, but never really connected with any girl while sober. Maybe this is my main problem? Did I just have a moment of clarity? Do I have to drink constantly through life so that women arent repelled by my existance? Anyone for pub?

*mwah is the sound of a kiss. lame i know, but its a friendly sort of flirt. consider it a good thing.

one thing you can do to make sure that

1. Shes knows that you don't want a relationship
2. You have the oportunity to get her as a fuck buddy

is tell a DHV story where you talk about a girl liking you but you saying you didn't want to get into anything serious right now. That way she'll know that you are popular with girls, and that you don't want a relationship right now and it has nothing to do with her.

Next you have to Full Monty close her for her to become a fuck buddy. The best way is really to just do really good in bed, so she will want more.

But you can also just be her friend. Do stuff with her, but fuck her later in the evening. Have a good time in the day, ask if she would like to coem to your place later to just hang out, watch a movie or whatever. Once shes there just do kino and be flirty and BANG! you have a second full monty, and then you just keep on hanging out with her, both with her and others, and just you and her. and there you go, you are now fuck buddies! =)