Hello everyone,
As you can obviously notice I'm new here and I need some help. (sorry for the long story)

For quite some time I have an issue where I want to make some mayor changes with.
Ofcourse it's related to meeting women, and I have been reading a lot of tips and tricks. but I still need some help.


Not sure if there are many like me, but I feel quite ashamed by it.
I'm 18 years old, I live a decent life. my hobby turned out to be a good way to make money lately and make it as my work. So I don't have any financing problems.
I live by myself because of my College inside a house with more housemates.
I also have enough friends as I believe. but the problem is.. they are all male.

In fact, I never had a girlfriend, I never kissed a girl. Not to mention ever had sex with one.
It's not that I look awfull, I have a decent posture, not covered in pustules. and not fat. Also no one ever complained about my breath.
I wear my own style of clothing nowadays (most times a colbert)

Now I know that looks mean jack to girls als long as your teeth aren't falling out.
I also did my best at trying to be cocky and funny when neccesairy.
but the mayor problem is. and you guessed it. Approach anxiety...

It's even so bad, when I was in a club with a friend of mine (also member on this website but has more succes) he said to me that a certain girl was perfect for me to go to. but my stupid mind created an invissible barier of sweat and shaky hands even before that 3 second rule was active.

It's not that I can't talk to girls, I just can't approach them and thereby never try most/all of the tips and tricks found here.

I work in a shop at the moment sometimes, I get plenty of girls in front of me that I need to help. and giving advice is no problem. I never choke on words or anything. but that's because I treat her like a customer, and not a girl to be personal with.

But whenever I do want to get into a chat with one, I never seem to find the right subject/words to say. only 5 minutes after.. which is too late.

Like this evening. I was in the supermarket, and when I proceeded to checkout the cashier (a good looking girl) Said that it's almost evening, and I answered:

Cashier: It's almost evening
Me: yeah Time flies
Cashier: Indeed, a bit fast sometimes in my opinion
Me: How long before you are done?
Cashier: I have to work untill 19:00
Me: Ah, just an half an hour left, Hang in there.

She handed me over the receipt and I wished her some succes for the last half an hour and walked away.

What I said is just very plain and casual. Nothing really interesting.


So how do I improve myself at being able to be attractive and able to speak to girls in a personal way.
I know it's all trial and error, but the barier of my approach anxiety is just too large to say "Just do it" my mind will then ask myself a thousand questions "why do you want to talk to her?" "what are you going to say" "how are you going to say it" "how will she react?" "what if...." BAM 3 seconds passed away.....

Any help would be enormously appreciated.
I just can't stand the lonelyness of not having a girlfriend or ever had any. I see my friends do fun stuff with them. and everytime I hear about it, it makes me jalous and sad.
I sometimes even talk to myself... I know it's pathetic...

Regards

Dude first of all your 18. Most of us here had no game at that age so being in AFC land isnt a big deal at 18. If you were 35, now you would be fucked.

What you need to do is a combination of learning, practice, and doing. Read "The Game" and "How to win friends and influence people, if you haven't, then buy some other PUA material after that to learn the basics of game and being a man. Go out and attempt to pick up woman at night and with your friends using the techniques you learned, and making up your own. Get on the internet and try to find girls there. Make an effort to talk to everyone you come across and be a social and likable guy. Take an acting class and a martial arts class.

so you know what to do, you need to start this journey with the small step forward, are you going to man up and do it or wallow in pity?

Mopet man, I know EXACTLY how you feel brother...I'm
not going to lie dude, you're not the only one who has
never been kissed at 18. I'm 21 and never been
kissed so already you're doing just a little better
than me. As far as that AA is going, I know
how you feel man, that feeling deep
down inside heart that just doesn't
allow you to make that approach,
its one of the shittiest feelings
in the world... acknowledging
to yourself that you're not
good enough to go make
that approach and talk
to her, I've been
there, I know
what it feels like
to feel like a piece of
shit. Apart from that, there is
that thought in the back of your mind
and its panging at you "Go and talk to her! Go
and approach her now! GO!! WHAT ARE YOU WAITING
FOR!? WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF?! GO NOW!!!!" I've
had that shit so many times you feel like you just
want to be swallowed up by the world and never
come back because the pain is so bad.

AA is plague that diseases everyone entering
the community and fortunately for you there is a cure
for it...approaching women! How's that for
a breakthrough?! To get over that initial
fear you will have to approach
women in order to get that
confidence you desire...it's the
only way forward bro and there
is no magic pill or a magical subconscious
word that can rid you of it...only YOU can rid
yourself of AA and that's the beauty of it. In
a couple months time you will look back
on this moment and think to yourself
"wow...was that me? How did I get
that way? That's what held me
back? Jesus..." I'll show you
the easiest technique there
is for getting rid of your AA
at the end of this post so
keep reading!

One thing that you must first get out of your
head is that, the 3 second rule is bull. It
works, but is bull. Think about it, if you
walk into a venue or anywhere really
where you see a beautiful women,
you have 3 seconds to approach.
Now, that is an enormous
amount of pressure for
someone. That means
no matter how scared
you are and no matter
how much that anxiety
hurts you inside, you must still approach!
It's like a double edged sword. On the one end
you are being forced to pushed outside your comfort
zone and make that approach. But, on the other end
your feeling so overwhelmed with comfortableness
that you freak out and you begin thinking of
even MORE excuses not to approach
because everything is going so
fast in those 3 seconds you
don't have enough time
to calibrate what is
going on around
you and that is where the
3 second rule fails. As I said, it does
work, but only do it when you feel comfortable
enough to approach in under 3 seconds.
It's not easy...

Brother, I understand 150% how you feel of not having a
girlfriend, harboring all that loneliness inside your heart
because no one is there to talk to you on the phone
or comfort you when you're sad. It makes you want
to scream and just burst into tears because while
all your mates have GF's your alone at night
wondering when your's is going to come
along and make you happy. I've cried
so many times over the years
because of the lack of the
simple human desire
to be touched
and to have
a girl so beautiful
and true be by my side
and just enjoy life by my side...
It's a pain that only you can take away.
If you want to get her...you must first
overcome your greatest triumph...yourself.
No one can do it for you, you must do it
for yourself and only yourself. You have
nothing to prove to anyone, not to
your friends, not your parents,
not god...you prove to only yourself
that you know you are
capable of pushing
past your own
boundaries
and you won't settle for 2nd best
anymore, you want to have what everyone
is having but only better. You want that power
and that desire...in time it will come, only if
you allow it to. This approach anxiety will
not be part of you forever, it will only
be inside you until you decide that
enough is enough. And that
starts right now my friend,
it starts right now.

Now for the simplest and most
effective approach you will
ever see for ridding
this shit called AA. Go watch my video
the "Coffee Shop" opener
on my youtube link at the
bottom and you will see how easy
approaching is and can
be. If you do those
kind of approaches,
simple open and eject
you will overcome your AA
even faster than you think...
I made this video
for all you guys out
there struggling out there.
It shows you that something so
simple, short and sweet can
boost your confidence
and it shows you that
the girl will in fact
NOT bite your
head off or scream at
you when you approach her,she
will instead actually be quite open
and friendly to chat to you for a moment.
You can even watch both videos
if you want but go out there
and start with "Coffee Shop" first
and focus on that until you
feel your confidence boost.
It's amazing just how
something this simple
can be that effective.
Trust me man, if you
want to take that first step
forward, this is the best
way to go about it.
Short and sweet
man. Short,
and sweet

_________________
'Bitches aint shit' - Chai

You couldn't describe the way I feel any better.
One of the very annoying things is that I get confronted with it every single day.
People keep saying to me "one day you'll find the right one..." Damn right I will, but no thanks to good faith nor only luck.

A good friend of mine is a perfect example of luck in your life.
whatever he desires, he get's it.
he doesn't work, but still manages to buy/get the most expensive stuff.
So his pocketmoney is my month salary.
Also for some reason, he ended up in a class on his high school with a lot of girls and Alpha males.

Me on the other hand complete vice versa. and those who got the girls back then were complete jerks so I didn't hang around with them. Nowadays I got that fixed though.

But also his girlfriend he had a relation with was provided by friends who had to couple the 2 because of an weird bet.
and so goes the story on..

It usualy depressed me looking at him, but since a while I kept living to this quote:
"whole life is a game of luck, but a real man creates his own"

That's true, Those things I did archieve were all because of my own work and effort.
Things, HE didn't had/has

@Detox75,
It's True I'm just 18, but life goes by faster than a speeding train. and the sooner I start with something, the longer I can enjoy it.

Also I'm affraid that on this age It's still exiting to experiment with this while you still have the chance to find a girl who shares the least experience in e.g. sex.
when I'm 27 and in the same situation, you can wish me best of luck with finding a girl who never had sex before.
And I don't really like a girlfriend who got half the city ridden on her once.

Ofcourse I wouldn't mind so bad if she had an good relation before.

It's just too bad that my current view of girls is just wrong. In my eyes it's like all girls start with these things on age of 14 or something. And I know it's nonsence, but try to convince a thought that has been in your head for your whole life.

Maybe Hollywood and the way I was raised had something to do with it.
"never talk to strangers"- yeah that will come in handy when I want to approach a girl.
"straring at people is bad"- I read girls like it in a descrete way, well I got teached it's bad....
"tell her that you love her"- screw that, Any hollywood romantic movie features a douchebag saying "I love you", yeah, they never film after the ending of the movie, where the girl says "let's just be friends"
"one day she'll come at you"- hell not if you sit behind your desk staring at a monitor.
"you are made for this girl"- Onetis... I had it, I thought we were perfect for each other, Turns out I was obsessed and she completely uninterested.



Thanks a lot for the feedback! in the meantime I'll be reading around this forum, see what else people have experienced.

Still any advice is greatly welcome!

Btw, I have another small question.

Since I heard a lot of possitive things about the book "the game" by neil strauss
I'm considering buy it myself.

But when I search for it I find 2 versions:
"The game" - a book with a purple cover
I know this one from a classmate, it sounds like an interesing one

and this one:
"The game - Penetrating the secret society of pick up artists" - black cover

though they both share the same title exept the subtitle and are from the same author, they differ in price and content, judged by reactions.

Which one is the best recommended? maybe both?

Sorry for the late reply, busy weekend

Yeah man that's the thing, so many just have the mindset
that they one day their special someone will just fall right
into their lap or just bump into them and then the rest
will take it's course, that's doesn't happen in reality
like it does in the movies. If you sit at home all
the time you can prey and hope for the
perfect girl to just come knocking at
your door but it will never happen.
The only way you can get what
you want is by going out there
and getting it.

I wen't out with
a mate of mine to a lunch
and he said that afterwards he want's to goto
this one chicks house that he's been talking to
to get some action and hopefully fuck her
later that night. Listen to this and try
and picture this in your mind.
This chick is the ugliest sack of shit
on the planet! She has face acne, 3 chins,
a protruding belly, hairy arms and legs,
frizzy hair, bad teeth and she's close
to hitting obesity! No fucking joke.
So i asked him "Dude, in all
honesty, why would you
even want to fuck her
or get with her? She's
disgusting!" and he
answered "I need
the action..." That is the lowest
point of desperation when you know
you cant get any girls and you settle for the
very bottom of the barrel. At that moment I felt
so sad for him cause that's all he can get and he's
accepting it...But it's choice and I want him to
learn from his mistakes. If you want to
really find 'the one' for you, don't EVER,
DON'T EVER settle for second best. Never.

As for your friend who seems to have all that good luck,
some people have it and some others don't which is
the popular wisdom, either your born with it or
you aren't. I bet that he made his own luck
and he's just learnt to roll with it and see
where it takes him. It's like being born
with good looks: It's all genetic and
just by random chance. Or as Style
likes to say "So what you're good
looking,you got lucky in the
gene pool." It's all chance
man, but you can in
fact create your
own luck, if you
work hard at improving
yourself and get everything you
desire you later won't need that luck
cause it will just flow naturally into your life
because you decided to allow it to and it manifested
to what you want it to be.
If you want something,
go get it. Period.

"The Game" is basically the bible of the community but it's also
the very fine and broad stroked guidelines to the underground world
of seduction and what it's all about. It's changed and saved my life...
I don't know which one your mate in the classroom is talking
about cause as far as I know cause I have the blue
cover, there are 3 covers, the blue,
red and black (not all in one color)but the full title one
you want to read is the one that says
"Penetrating the secret society of pick up artists"
cover if that isn't the hint haha

Read that one, you will definitely see life
and the way you see women completely
differently. I guarantee it.

_________________
'Bitches aint shit' - Chai

Hey, thought I'd drop by and say how I admire your attitude about changing things. A guy better take action sooner than later. I do tend to think however that since we're so young we have the bennefit of starting earlier and thus I suppose its OK to take a more relaxed stance about all this and mostly have fun. Go with the flow as they say.



Good luck to your journey.

get whichever one is cheaper, which should be a used copy of the black cover. I buy all my shit at www.half.com

I once again appreciate the feedback!
I'll see if I can order the book somewhere this week.

I have been practising about my AA, Though I can still easly talk to girls when I really forced to talk to them because of something. but when it's just to chat and the get-to-know-each-other talk I don't always seem to come up with something to say.

Like yesterday I was in a train, doing some 3D modelling work on my laptop.
A good looking girl sat next to me even though the seats opposite of me were empty.

Sometimes she watched the progres I made, I noticed that, but what was it that I had to say?
I wasn't really getting nervous, I was just not able to figure something to say.

a "Hi" to her after 15 minutes she sat next to me would be weird I think.

Later on when I was home, and therefore too late again. I figured something to say like "Wonder what it is?" or just saying "hopefully I can finish this in time" (I know the chance of getting a response to that would be 99%)

perhaps that could have worked, but like I mentioned, I was late with figuring out.
Are there any suggestions of things I can do about it?

It's good that you've been improving yourself to get that AA
out of your system man keep it up! When we're under
pressure, regardless of the situation, we have that
natural human instinct just to fight and come out
alive and see it through in the end. Inherit that
fighting spirit and never give up man You'll get there.

As for the train part, if you're ever in that situation
again use this. If the girl looks over at your laptop say
"Sorry to bother you, I noticed you glance
at my screen...this is a new upcoming Pixar
film me and my friend are presenting soon.
My friend worked on Finding Nemo
a while ago and I was inspired
to create an awesome movie
like him! Have you seen
any Pixar movies?" From there, you can
start building commonalities between each other
and discuss different movie tastes and whatnot
as the conversation progresses.

I'm not so fond of trains so I've
never had the benefit of talking
to women on them in that
space haha. Either way,
the one I gave you
should give you
better success

_________________
'Bitches aint shit' - Chai

Thanks a lot! I appreciate it.

I'll be trying to imagine a few situations that might occur some day. then I can prepare myself of what to say in case it happens.
Better think of it before than after.


This week I also did something else that improved my confidence quite a bit.
It's not really related to girls, but sure will show it's adventage some day I think.

Normaly, I was used to always walk after people. if I said "let's go left" but someone else said "let's go right" my suggestion always got completely ignored and I had no choice but to follow after.

Now I was sick of it.
yesterday I was taking a walk with my housemates. We had the exact same situation as I described above.
Luckely I felt this was coming.

On our path we could decide to take a right, or to proceed to walk foreward and later on take a right, the route is a bit diffrent, but the length's not, so my suggestion would not be worse than Mr A's suggestion.

As I guessed it, Mr A said we could better take the path on the right. Mr B agreed.
Me, suggested to proceed walking along the boulevard. and indeed, my suggestion wasn't accepted. in fact, when I tried to backup my suggestion, I got the rude "well then go by yourself" answer.

I responded with "OK" and walked the path I wanted to take.
Yes I walked alone, but it felt great. better yet, it felt awesome. I once in my life did not accept the no against me.

So instead of feeling unwanted, small and belittled knowing I once again did not stood up for myself, I felt an awesome badass feeling. Knowing that for now it will be my way when I feel to.

You should think positive. You are young and don't have financial problems. How many of young people can say the same? IT does not mean to use money to buy girl's affections. It simply means you have one less thing to worry about about free up your time and energy to develop social skills to succeed with women.

Now, don't get me wrong, internet is a good place to pickup women for some guys. Buy don't start there. Internet makes you lazy and dependent. It will not help you develop real social skills. Rejection online does not feel as bad as rejection in real life with social pressure (people watch you getting rejected). Getting rejected over and over again is the only way to overcome your insecurities. Also, don't read "the game", or any other books until you do something. it will take you a month to digest even one book. Read it after you tried to some real life sarging for a while.

The best way is learn no more than 5 openers and 2 extended routines and go out there and try it right away. Always try to number close or kiss close if you can. Do this for 2 weeks you will feel like a new man. you will learn your weakness and strengths, and then sit down analyze it. post your field reports here, and read books then.



-----------------------------------------------------
Never be lost for words when you see one! Always be ready! Anytime Anywhere! PUAbestMate . com

I agree with PUA best mate. You don't need the internet or a bunch of material to start. Your doing great so far. Just have a few openers and continuations in the can, and use the 3-second rule to open everyone you can with whatever is on your mind. Your making great progress!

This has got to be the most contradictory backward thinking bullshit advice
I'v read on this forum from a poster, yes puabestmate i'm directing this
at you.

What the fuck is up with that nonsense? That's a total hypocrisy on your part.
You're telling someone not to use the internet as a source of information
yet you're using it right now? Is that not what we are all on here for,
to improve ourselves? I think you need re-evaluate your question.

DON'T read THE GAME? Are you fucked in the head?
Nearly every guy who has
gotten their hands on it that book and read through it thoroughly has sooner or later decided to
change the way their current life was and make it better and have
evolved into the person they choose to be around women and
lead a lifestyle of the PUA or just have that awesome hidden
knowledge to interact with women. I read The Game in under a week
cause that's how interested and badly I wanted to change myself.

The very first answer that the majority of people that give AFC's
and newbies on this forum and in life is "Read THE GAME". I don't
know if you're trying to be original but I suggest, stop trying to,
it's not working in your favor. You mean to tell me that Mopet,
that if he mustn't read any books on Alexander Technique (a
book on body language, being cocky funny, showing arrogance
and being funny and confident around women...also rated
as a golden guidebook to correcting the way women
and the world perceives you) he must NOT read
this book until he sarges? I don't seem to
understand your logic. You're telling
this guy, who has AA, to not read
any books on self-improvement
and books with actual techniques on how
to interact with women until he has first sarged?
How is he supposed to sarge women if he doesn't even know how??




Where do suppose he should get these openers from? THE GAME?
Nope, you said he cant read that, even though it has tons of
information on how to open correctly and which ones
worked best. How about David DeAngelo's ALEXANDER TECHNIQUE?
Sorry, you said he cant read any other books until he does something
first so that golden book is out the window.

You want to deny Mopet educating himself from using tried and
tested and effective methods first before going
out and sarging? It doesn't take a rocket scientist to tell
that is doomed for failure.

Mopet, I wouldn't be writing long detailed posts if I didn't know
my shit man, I've done approaches, I've read the game, I've
read different shit, watched hours of video and listened to
many more hours of pickup podcast and interviews from
the greatest PUA's out there and taken away the
information that has made them great. EDUCATION
is your best weapon! Do not deny yourself to educate
yourself if you are given the opportunity to. Take
advantage of it and spend time getting
that info into your mind so you can be
prepared for when the day comes
and you can put that knowledge
to the test and in that time
you will know what to do
because you took the
time to learn the hidden
information that has been underground
and in secret from you all these years...and
frankly to be told not do learn from it when presented
to you in crystal clear form, now that's that's bad advice.

_________________
'Bitches aint shit' - Chai

Though both advices obviously are in contradictionary, I feel real interested to proceed this discussion as I would like to know a few why's Chai mentioned aswell, as one suggest reading "The game" and another not yet.
Ofcourse I really appreciate the help!

It's good to know I'm going into the right direction!
I'll try to do some approaching this week in case I feel to.

I'll keep posting updates here.