Dating a Rape Victim.



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PostPosted: Sun Nov 20, 2011 2:37 pm 
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she lies alot .. she's alot of drama .. red flags blablabal..

you are already in too deep , why would you post about this ? if you trust her , if you would have accepted her you wouldn't be asking us question on it. It sounds to me like you are attached but you don't really like the way she is, you treat her like someone else - you want her psychologist in order to change her ?

she told you shit when she was drunk .. how the fuck do you know ? why do you take a drunk woman so seriously ? do you know how stupid it sounds .. if you eat out of her hand while she's drunk i don't wanna know what else you would accept.

don't listen to other guys about punishing and affection .. if you want to train a dog get a dog but stop using human beings for that kind of shit.. if you don't like her just leave.. if you want to change her just leave.

of course im talking shit like it's easy..it's fucking hard when you are attached or invested.
look dude .. you aren't over analyzing things.. you are just not seeing the truth you are just stuck in a certain perspective you are having about her. i've been there many times and that is why these forums come in handy.

she's very likely to not be a decent person .. RED FLAGS .. but she isn't insance either. she gives you to i don't trust men bullshit just so she can fuck around pushing you later on... just tell her to shut the fuck up .. you cannot have relationships with people who you don't trust.. if you don't trust people go live on a tropical island on your own.

don't accept her way of thinking all the time .. do you realize how retarded it sounds .. i don't trust woman as well but im not a victim , when i need to deal with someone i just give them trust even when i don't like it. if she doesn't trust men she should hookup with some lesbian or some other queer, if she decide to hookup with guys she should stop complaining.

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PostPosted: Sun Nov 20, 2011 4:33 pm 
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Well that's a completely different response than the rest in here.

I'm not sure where you got the drunk thing from. She has never had more than two drinks when around me.

She has never told me of an array of sexual exploits, or made it out to sound as though she was playing the field. She told me straight up she isn't dating anyone else. She hasn't done anything up to this point to damage the trust. In fact, she seems more trustworthy than most.

If I'm being taken for a ride, I'm going to be fucked...because I do trust her. My walls are up huge though and the whole thing is very intense for me, even when just making out with her (which happened a bit last night for the first time). As far as what she is saying about men goes, people handle trust issues differently.


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PostPosted: Sun Nov 20, 2011 5:53 pm 
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oops i had 2 similar posts in my screen .. mixed them a bit up with the drunk word.. lol sorry about that.

trust is a choice ..

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PostPosted: Mon Nov 21, 2011 1:27 am 
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If I'm being taken for a ride, I'm going to be fucked...because I do trust her.
Never ever trust women 100%. This will keep you sane.

Never ever trust a woman with issues. This girl has some issues. They all have.

This chick wasn't raped, dude. IMO, she's fucked around, and I think she may have an STD. That's why she's taking things slow.

No sex = no relationship. You need to fuck this chick soon. Make sure you ask her if she has an STD before you fuck her. I have a feeling she's got herpes.


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PostPosted: Mon Nov 21, 2011 1:38 am 
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Hey Heffty.

I was typing a long post about my last gf but then I realized you don't need all that information and erased it all.

The basic point I wanted to make is you need to be careful with this one. My last gf was a victim who needed protection and it made for a very bumpy ride. Nothing could make a guy feel like more of a man than a beautiful young woman who is so vulnerable and needs you so much. As one of the posters above said, it is about as romantic as you can get.

But, here's where it gets tricky. I did everything for that woman. I gave her all I had to give because she "deserved" it. I worked so hard to build her self esteem back up and turn her life around. Blah blah blah you get the point. I spent three years of my life on that woman and it felt amazing to do so much for someone. I fell madly in love with her and she said and acted like she felt the same way. Nobody had ever treated her the way that I did, and no woman had ever made me feel that way.

Long story short, I managed to give her back that self esteem and confidence that she had lost. In the process I guess I came out looking like a nice guy pussy for treating her like a queen. So she lost all interest in me and started fucking everything with a dick.

Needless to say I broke up with her and kicked her out of my house. I am a man and my pride would accept nothing less. Now she's out there hoeing around and having a great time and I've spent the last year of my life a broken man, trying to pick up the pieces that she left me with.

So my friend, be careful. I am not saying that your experience will be like mine, in fact I truly hope it isn't. Since I have started absorbing PUA knowledge though, it seems like what I said above. You want to treat her nice and somehow make up for what she has gone through, but in doing so you make her feel like a million bucks whereas you end up looking like a nice guy chump and she gets bored with that.

So, I don't know if this will help you or not but good luck man whatever you choose. Sorry if I didn't make sense I had a long day and I've had a couple of keystones and a little smoke.
jesus christ, dude.

i could have written that myself.

you've lived my life.

sorry to say, but kind of good to know that i'm not the only one who's lived through that.

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PostPosted: Mon Nov 21, 2011 3:19 am 
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If I'm being taken for a ride, I'm going to be fucked...because I do trust her.
Never ever trust women 100%. This will keep you sane.

Never ever trust a woman with issues. This girl has some issues. They all have.

This chick wasn't raped, dude. IMO, she's fucked around, and I think she may have an STD. That's why she's taking things slow.

No sex = no relationship. You need to fuck this chick soon. Make sure you ask her if she has an STD before you fuck her. I have a feeling she's got herpes.
How can you say this shit.

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PostPosted: Mon Nov 21, 2011 11:51 am 
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jesus christ, dude.

i could have written that myself.

you've lived my life.

sorry to say, but kind of good to know that i'm not the only one who's lived through that.
well it seems everyone is stupid enough to go through that .. a universal story ... significance is a drug.

You shouldn't trust woman unles you have a reason to do so.. make people earn your respect.

everyone has issues .. but some have just too much.. you have to be a bit carefull about who you get attached to - that is why you need to learn to create a emotional pause between things so you can reflect on it.

everyone could have a STD .. yes woman with red flags are often more prone to having those..

last few weeks i have trusted someone without any reason and it turned out to be a great experience.. great sex and connection.. fucked her without rubber tho lol that's stupid mistake.. anyway it changed my life.. you can be over-protective of yourself. Im a guy who don't trust woman at all .. but sometimes you just got to break your own rules and live life by taking risks...

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PostPosted: Sat Nov 26, 2011 5:31 pm 
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Well I'm a little over a month now seeing this chick. Eight dates in and I've been progressing things slowly with her. She still hasn't told me what happened to her, but did tell me she hasn't even told her mother about it yet.

1) She rarely initiates text conversation with me and never calls me unless I've arranged it in a text conversation prior.
2) She has never initiated a date
3) She doesn't respond to eye contact or me flirting with her at all.
4) she doesn't initiate kissing or holding hands, but will hug me no problem. She's calculated, and doesn't open herself up to kissing me until the end of the evening, and then it's almost like she positions herself for it and waits for me to come in.
5) Up until about two weeks ago the only place I was kissing her was in the vehicle at the end of a date. She told me, we've really got to do this some place other than here some time.
6) When cuddling on the couch she allows me to put my hand on her inner thigh or around her waste. She lets me massage her shoulders and back.
7) When we are kissing passionately, I pull away at times to look at her and touch her face gently while looking at her. She keeps her eyes closed and then when she finally does open them she tells me it makes her blush that I am looking at her so admiringly.
8. She is completely closed off about any feelings she may or may not have for me. Aside from spending time with me, returning my texts, and accepting my small physical advances, she has given me little to no indication she is into me.
9) On November 17th she told me she wasn't dating anyone else. We haven't said anything about exclusivity as of yet.


I guess I will just keep slowly advancing at this point. But the way she is acting makes me feel like she's just leading me along. I don't want to assume that though because if this whole closed off this is related to her issues and is something she could get past...I think she'd be a great girlfriend.

We started a new dance class together, one where she's known the dance teacher (male) for a while. I found out from other sources that he took a run at her at one point, but there were no details beyond that. When we were at the class she ran up and gave him a big hug and kiss on the cheek. Something she doesn't do with me. Then she was perturbed because he was using a different woman to demonstrate the moves with that night, and not her. She claimed it was because she thought she was better than that woman, but I tend to think it was because she was jealous. Then at the end the dance teacher wasn't around, and she was looking for him waiting to talk with him. All in all, this whole situation left me feeling upset.

It's hard to predict what's happening with her. I suppose at the end of the day all I can do is look at this situation and accept the fact that she is allowing me to get to know her. I know, I'm supposed to be the one that turns it around and allows a girl to get to know me...that's the proper PUA way. I feel like if I didn't keep pursuing her she would just let me walk. It doesn't feel nice not to feel wanted. I suppose as long as things are progressing on the physical side I'll continue with this in hopes I can at least get some. But I'd prefer to have a girlfriend, and one who is more open with me about her feelings.

Lodewijkp your hard nose approach has been noted. Some people are saying if I build her confidence up and be a good guy she'll come around. Some are saying it's possible she could be using sex as a control thing. Some are saying after they got through issues with the woman the sex and relationship was great. I think every situation is different to some degree, but I think you're right that I am getting myself in to deep and am opening myself up for some hurt...and in the end it will be my own fault if it doesn't go as I hope.


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PostPosted: Sat Nov 26, 2011 7:04 pm 
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here are my 2 cents

you have WONDERFUL in everyway to her.... and no reward for you, so

MAN UP and freeze her out. be alpha as fuck. she has got to realize wow this guy is something else. i say completley freeze her out and start talking to other girls. you are rewarding her and treating her wonderfully but bro u arent rewarded it seems that u are putting all the effort in here and not her. a relationship is 50-50. so i know its HARD. but these are some of the things you gotta do bro. how often do u talk? freeze her out 1 week 2 or 3. then recontact her. make her miss you and want you to come around. i know u mention about her possibly being a rape victim. but bro life is too short to wastte time on her.

i know that sounds very harsh and rape is a very SERIOUS traumaic event. but bro, you are not her therapist, your the man of every woman's dream and well a freeze could possibly make her come to her senses and change that notion she has bout men. If not, move on.. time is ticking bro. 8 dates you guys have gone on correctt? those could of been 8 dates with 8 wonderful women that showed interest in you....

I hope this helps, and i hope you do gett her but if not man... go out and get another woman because to me this sounds a little oneitis but maybe its me :?

Goodluck!


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PostPosted: Sat Nov 26, 2011 7:40 pm 
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I agree, freeze her out. But just to be clear, she is not a rape victim. She has an STD. Possibly genital hsv-2.
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she doesn't initiate kissing or holding hands, but will hug me no problem.
Quote:
When cuddling on the couch she allows me to put my hand on her inner thigh or around her waste.
Have you tried grabbing her tits? Her ass?
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she has given me little to no indication she is into me.
Read between the lines. I repeat, get it out of your head. This chick was not raped.
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But the way she is acting makes me feel like she's just leading me along.
Because she is.
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We started a new dance class together,
Ugh. This will not end up good. wtf dude? A dance class? Where's your sense of manhood? Grow a pair, will you?!

Is the dance teacher good looking? Is he older that you guys?

Yes, she's probably into him, and schemed you to go with her to the lessons to make him jealous. Never go to that fucking class again, dude. Doesn't matter if you already paid for 10 lessons.
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I suppose at the end of the day all I can do is look at this situation and accept the fact that she is allowing me to get to know her.
Listen to yourself, goddammit. Her allowing you to get to know her? Where's your self esteem? You're the prize, dude. She's either a rape victim or she has herpes.
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I feel like if I didn't keep pursuing her she would just let me walk.
Want to bet? I'll bet you $100 (paid via SPAM) that if you never call her again, she'll be calling and texting you in one week... two weeks tops.

You still haven't fucked up. You haven't been a stalker, just an AFC/beta bitch. You still have hope. You can turn this around. She's kissing you at least.
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I suppose as long as things are progressing on the physical side I'll continue with this in hopes I can at least get some.
Things are not progressing physically. You've been stuck in 1st base for weeks now. You're not getting laid if you keep acting like this.


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PostPosted: Sat Nov 26, 2011 8:55 pm 
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Richard Pryor is on THE MOTHERFUCKING MONEY ON THIS ONE!!

bro, i think what your doing is great but here is what i get from this
1) you are using pua material which is excellent, but you still have the mentality of an AFC, you have to change your mentality and thte rest will change with you e.g. outer game
2) from the perspective that pryor wrote, she is probably just keeping you around till she finds something better SO

freeze her out, and i will also bet $100 via SPAM that she will hit you up before you do her. but YOU CANT freeze her out for like 2-3 days, im talking 1 -3 weeks man. i know your gonna wanna call man but thats your AFFC mentality. you can change. i believe in you because i believe in me ...if thatt makes sense 8) lol

but also i think your feeling for this girl is also clouding your vision to analyze he whole situation and whatt pryor is outlining here.. especially in the dance class using you to make the teacher jelous!!! so change your mentality and let me kno how it progresses


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PostPosted: Sat Nov 26, 2011 10:33 pm 
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Here is my 2 cents on this issue (I've been in 2 different relationships like this, one girl was molested by her adoptive father, the other was raped by a stranger)...

NEXT!

You are not a counselor. You are a man. Act like one. She has issues and trauma lingering and there is absolutely nothing that you can do about it, no matter how badly you want to or try to. The only person who can fix her brain is her. You are going to put in way too much energy, time, and effort and get no results or return on your investment. You will only end up being crushed in the end.

You are not responsible for her needs, and there is nothing honorable about sticking it out to try to prove that you are a nice guy or different from other guys. Your responsibility is to yourself and your own needs. Nobody was put on this earth to tend to your needs, you have to do that yourself and you have to put yourself first. And so does she.

You have one-itis and rather than moving on and finding someone who would be a better for you, you are trying to fix someone who can't be fixed. Obviously, this is taking a toll on you mentally and emotionally, (and probably physically as well) or you wouldn't be posting about it here. Don't you think you deserve better than that? You should think you deserve better than that.

Think about yourself, not about her. There is nothing you can do for her. You need to have the self-respect and dignity to walk away and live your own life. It is selfish of her to string you along like this if she is not ready or emotionally stable enough to be with you. You deserve better.


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PostPosted: Mon Nov 28, 2011 3:01 am 
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Ok. Well I will go with the idea of freezing her out upon all your recommendations. Problem is...the dance class. I was going to go to it anyway with a budy of mine. She's the one who decided to come with me as originally she wasn't going to go to this session. I live in a really country city, and guys that know how to country dance here pick up all the time. It also helped me talk to women and touch them more when I first started. This was the reason I originally took the class, and that's where I met this girl. She finds her own way to the class on transit because she works downtown, and doesn't have time to get home and then go to class. She asked if I would drive her home after. I told her I'd do it because she doesn't live far from where I live, but I told her she'd have to fill up my vehicle once, mostly because I didn't want her to feel like she could walk all over me. Also, my friend Bruce is a really shy guy and I invited him to the class so he would start talking to women more too. Last week was his first class, and I'd hate to just ditch him. Class goes once a week and there are 5 weeks left. I could bail if I really had to...but I'd be canceling on my friend who had a lot of fun last week, and the girl wouldn't have a ride home. It would be kind of a dick thing to do at this point.


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 01, 2011 4:38 pm 
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Ok. Well I will go with the idea of freezing her out upon all your recommendations. Problem is...the dance class. I was going to go to it anyway with a budy of mine. She's the one who decided to come with me as originally she wasn't going to go to this session. I live in a really country city, and guys that know how to country dance here pick up all the time. It also helped me talk to women and touch them more when I first started. This was the reason I originally took the class, and that's where I met this girl. She finds her own way to the class on transit because she works downtown, and doesn't have time to get home and then go to class. She asked if I would drive her home after. I told her I'd do it because she doesn't live far from where I live, but I told her she'd have to fill up my vehicle once, mostly because I didn't want her to feel like she could walk all over me. Also, my friend Bruce is a really shy guy and I invited him to the class so he would start talking to women more too. Last week was his first class, and I'd hate to just ditch him. Class goes once a week and there are 5 weeks left. I could bail if I really had to...but I'd be canceling on my friend who had a lot of fun last week, and the girl wouldn't have a ride home. It would be kind of a dick thing to do at this point.
You need to stop worrying about other people, stop trying to solve all of their problems, and start worrying about what is best for you.


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 08, 2011 5:38 pm 
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Everyone's giving you solid advice here, and you're just dodging the truth and defending your position. No one is attacking you, so stop getting all defensive. We're all here to HELP.

I understand that these are all opinions and theories etc. However, it would seem logical that when a good number of people agree on a point and are saying the same thing, that you would take it as a hint. There's a correct thing to do here.

There are billions of people in the world, most of them women, and the one woman you're obsessing over is a fraction of a fraction of a percent of the entire population. She DOES NOT MATTER.

Freeze her out and if she calls you back, personally, I'd say forget it. Don't answer, don't call her, don't go to that damn dance class anymore (and I say this about the dance class because of the situation, not because it's a dance class. I happen to enjoy dance very much).

I'm done posting on this topic, because you will either take the advice we're giving you or continue telling us why we may be incorrect. Stop kidding yourself. She's worthless. Try being objective and picture yourself as a third party in this pickle you're in. What would you tell your friend to do if he was in your shoes? There's better out there.

Sorry about that. Rant over.


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