Sixteen we met at a dance. We ditched our dates, hooked up that night, were young and stupid, went our seperate ways.

Twenty she finds me on facebook, we hang out, it goes really well, she is head over heels for me. But I don't live in the same city. She calls me several times every day, and I am always available. I don't know how to be in a relationship, this is really my first one. I am always there for her. I don't play any games. But sometimes she ignores me. She is not affectionate when I do come home and seems hot and cold. She won't have sex with me but kisses me and that's it. The furthest we get is a handjob. She makes comments to me that she "likes me so much she is scared and doesn't know what to do" and she "sees us together and it freaks her out." I believe every word she says even though her actions are basically cold towards me. I am always confused but I just really fall in love with her so I don't want it to end.

I don't handle it right, lose my cool, confront her several times and start huge fights. I insult her and slowly she looses interest in me. I know that I am not attractive to her at all because I am AFC. Our final fight she says "I was faking it anyways, your more of a pain in the ass than someone I am attracted to" and we just leave it bitterly ending. She goes on a cruise, comes back, shoves it in my face that she was rubbing on guys and I walk away.

I move on, no contact for six months. I worked on myself, realized I was a chump and could have handled it differently. She dated other guys and it hurt a lot. In the back of my head I wanted another chance. But I know it was probably only for validation. So I made myself better motivated by getting another chance.

So senior year in college, she calls me out of the blue nine times. I ignore all phone calls because I am going to make her regret dumping me. Then she texts me that it was an emergency. I'm like, yea right and tell her to "call 911." Then she says her dad died. I am shocked. Hurts a lot. Obviously I love her and can't stand to know she is in pain and that we didn't work out.

She has a boyfriend at the time, so I send flowers, try to see her, go to the funeral but she is not receptive to me beyond a few simple words. I move on again and focus on graduating.

Few months later, she dumps her boyfriend and calls me the next day. Stupid me says to myself I want another chance to redeem myself so I answer. We hit it off again and start talking. She calls me at least three/four times a day every day and we are like back on. I still don't live in the same city though so I can't see her. I basically become her support and she becomes dependent on me. I'm always encouraging her, supporting her, making her life positive and really love her. I come home and kiss her. Things seem to be back on track and this time I am not going to act like a chump.

So I'm getting ready for X-mas break and she is so excited to see me and planning all these things. I come home, she blows me off. I call her out. She gets pissed and ignores me for the ENTIRE break. This time I'm like "I'm done being used, goodbye." She doesn't respond or even wish my Merry Christmas. I'm like what I bitch.

So I go back home and she comes back texting me, asking me to take her back. I do it without question (STUPID). So we're back on but I know that its over I just took her back because I felt guilty about leaving her in the dust when she was dependant on me. So she starts telling me she is crazy about me, wants to marry me one day and I am her best friend and she likes me so much, but the second I come home, she goes completely cold. BEAR IN MIND WE STILL HAVE NOT HAD SEX. So I am like whatever, and finally get so pissed with her that I tell her I deserve better and she needs to shape up. She says no and that was it we fight insult each other and I throw my phone in the garbage and change my e-mail.

Move back home for school. I don't have any email or phone or facebook or anything. She can't get a hold of me because I want to move on and it hurt to much to ignore her. So she DRIVES OVER TO MY HOUSE. I'm like shit, hoping she came around to apologize and try again. We meet, talk about it. She spins the situation to be my fault. I dumped her when her dad died and broke her heart. Because of me she is in counseling and puts me on a guilt trip.

I tell her I love her and I want to start over and that we can just put the past behind us and move on together. She says no, walks out says nothing to me. I'm like what a bitch.

Obviously, I have had ample times to accept that this chick has no respect for me and this was over a long time ago. But I don't.

I send her a few apology e-mails for hurting her, try to explain why I "broke" up with her and she apologizes to and we are cool. But she says she doesn't want to be friends right now because of some reason.

I start negotiating with her about this and tell her that I should be important to her and how she never gave me 100% in our relationship and thats why we didn't work and she basically ignores me. I shut her out, she sends me a six page e-mail about how she loves me but that we weren't in love because she was scared and the time was off and that she didn't know what we could have had and that she would forever wonder what we could have had then she spun it on me again and said call me when this friendship means something to me.

So I tried to be friends, asked her to hang out, she gave me about six excuses and I was just like you know what? I'm sick of these games, changed me number told her if she ever came to my house again she'd be trespassing and that was it.

Now I'm back to No contact which I should have done before her dad died.

Wow.

Moral of the Story?

NO CONTACT MEANS NO CONTACT EVEN IF THEIR DAD DIES.

Here is what I learned from this experience.
1. Always behave and be PROUD of my own behavior and have respect for myself. Think before you act. No insulting people, loosing my cool, saying things to hurt people, resorting to hurtful matters, being immature, letting emotions get the best of you. Stay completely calm, cool and collected in every situation no matter what someone does to you.
2. If you catch red flags, unpleasant emotions, bad character or disrespect, immediately cut off all contact and give NO SECOND CHANCES.
3. Be selfish and don't put your girlfriend first all the time even if she bitches to high noon about it. Just worry about yourself before her at all times because if you don't, when she's gone then you look like the sucker.
4. Always keep the frame from day one. This is your way or no way from here on out and if she doesn't like it then we don't have to waste our time because I know what's best not her.
5. Move really slowly and at MY PACE so I can make her earn my trust.
6. Never let a girl how so much power of you, your emotions and your life.
7. Never overtly communicate anything unless you absolutely have to.
8. Be on your guard until she has really proven herself to you.
9. Once you end it, no contact means no contact.

Do you think she really loves me and is scared? I bought that lie for a very long time. But everything I read about Pick up suggests that if a girl loves you, she will move mountains to be with you. She never did. In fact, her actions are the opposite. Her words are telling me all this how much she loves me and crap but at the end of the day, she didn't give a shit about me when I tried to reconcile. And I was there for her every single day when she was down. Where is she at now? Going on dates with some other guy to weddings and not even responding to me. But I changed all my contact info and told her not to contact me and now I am moving on.

But damn. It sucks.

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Ahead of my time, like I live my whole life backwards.

I’m going to be brutally honest to you so sorry my French.

This girl never loved you, or even felt a pint of feelings for you. You probably arent the only one.

How cute ditching your dates, she could of done that to you, her behavior has pattern, well she ditch you plenty of times so dont feel any special.

(…)Because of me she is in counseling and puts me on a guilt trip(..,)

What guilt trip? She should be on high drugs to control her psycho behavior.

She called you because her father died, so she even used that for feeling good about herself(MANIAC), if she truly felt something for you, she would lean to you, she would have talked to you so she could feel secure. BUT NO SHE IGNORED YOU… she calls you to IGNORE YOU lololol.

Come on after that I thought you realized how much A FOOL YOU were , and move on, but noooo let me try just one more time.

Do you think she only gives hand job to the guys she is dating?

I’m personal believer in a woman “Don’t believe in what she says, be more mindful about her actions”. Because girls lie cheat and they are much more manipulative that guys.

So in my book I prefer a girl who says who doesnt love who hates my gut, but in the end of the day wants to kiss me have sex, has jealousy when a girl is talking to me. takes care of me when im sick. Remember me and bring me a gift. Well doesnt have to be perfect ofc she is going to manipulate and be a bitch, that what girls do but YOUR GIRL TAKES TO ANOTHER LVL.

You were some guy to make her feel well. When she was down, when she was fucking other guys, she doesn’t need you. for what ego boost? she already has it? YOU ARENT EVEN HER FRIEND. YOU are toy for her plain and simple.

You don’t need pickup to understand this girl was using all this time , heck even a retard person could understand, one or two times, I would understand, but this is too much, she must have good laughs with her friends.

What the hell you changed your number because of one girl? Are you afraid that if she calls you don’t have the balls to kick her ass? Or even not contacting? This is avoiding the problem not confronting like a real man.

This is not love this is MADNESS LOLOLOL. You should seek therapy.

My opinion, is that if you see this girl I would make fun of her, showing over the course of the years she didnt had any affect on you. If she realized this, she would lose all your power, and for the first you would be interesting to her, isntead of FUCKING TOY.


Some of your theories maybe be correct but you are taking to the extreme you found an unreal girl biggest manipulative girl ive ever beaad… and the biggest afc .
For example I would break that rule of no contact , if one of my exs would call me. This is no joke… some girls need some to support them, and maybe you are that guy… BUT NOT THIS GIRL she doesn’t deserve it.

Btw what you learn… you didn’t learn nothing, you still will do the mistakes if she snaps her fingers tomorrow.

Question: Did you have sex with her?

Question: How much time did you date and I mean psychical?

Question: Did she helped when you were down?

Question: Are you a virgin?

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Oh! You've gotta be kidding me!

Damn.

That hurts but it's good to know the truth.

I mean shit, I was not in the same city and she would just tell me how much she liked me and I believed her. I would come home and she wouldn't fuck me and I just chalked it up to her not having a high sex drive.

She played me like a fiddle then. Because she told me I was the only guy she talked to and she didn't talk to anyone else. I mean she did everything possible to lead me to believe she loved me right up until I actually came home.

No I never had sex with her and we were never officially dating each other, she would always say that she wasn't ready for a relationship. She's actually never had a boyfriend since the three years I've known her. She just calls guys her "friends" and keeps them at a distance. She never as actually been in a relationship.

I really don't think she has had sex with anyone but I could be wrong. She may have completely lied to me for the last two years. I don't know.

I have absolutely no idea. I feel like the biggest loser in the world though after that response.

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Ahead of my time, like I live my whole life backwards.

Sorry I edited once more my txt.

Btw im sorry for the language I used.

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Oh! You've gotta be kidding me!

No I am not a virgin, i've had sex with four girls. I've never had a girlfriend though. I've only had fuck buddies.

No she was never there for me.

I'm not very succesful with girls though. She definitely played me and used me. I knew she was doing it and that's why I walked away. But I did love her. I feel like if I hadn't been a chump she would have had respect for me and maybe fucked me. That sucks. I don't know though I tried to stand up for myself but all it would do is cause a major fight and then she would blame me for ruining it.

I think she never was attracted to me at all and just used me for support and never had any intention of fucking me but had to LIE in order to lead me on enough to get as much support out of me as she could.

I tell myself I could have fucked her but I didn't. But who knows. I really have no idea. All I know is that this chick played me hard and it sucks. I am just trying to move on but I feel like a major chump douchebag.

She was always a selfish bitch. Like she would always just talk about herself and everything was always about her. She never gave two shits about me. That's for sure and if I asserted myself at all she would create a HUGE fight and blame me and say my dad died and your making this so much harder and throw a hissy fit. All in all, I couldn't take it and that's why I moved on but I always kept trying again because I guess the honest truth is I wanted to fuck her and I never got to.


BY the way

Four guys before me.

The first one said don't date her she fucks with guys heads.
The second one almost committed suicide.
The third one ended up sleeping on her couch waiting for her affection.
The fourth one was the guy who was there for her at the funeral and she dumped his ass for no reason.

And I was the fifth loser.

She has tons of orbiter guys like one guy who has tried to get in her pants for FOUR YEARS!

I mean seriously, she is a player. I got played so hard dude it sucks. I'm just trying to recover. I tried my best to just be a geniune guy and support her and love her. I thought she felt the same way because she SAID SHE DID. I only came home a few times and I figured she didn't want to have sex because who knows why I rationalized it.


I bought into her story that she really loved me and wanted to marry me one day but she was just scared so I went slow, took my time, I never made a move to have sex with her, I would just kiss her and that was it. I treated her like an AFC would treat a ONEITIS because I thought it would make her more comfortable.

I don't know man. I'm lost right now but I'm glad I'm not talking to her anymore.

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Ahead of my time, like I live my whole life backwards.

Write this off as a learning experience. Your list of 9 things you learned is good.

She's insane in the brain.

Be thankful that you're still alive and healthy.

Don't be so hard on yourself. Everyone goes through this kind of shit. No big deal. Be thankful it happened when you were so young. Now you're prepared to deal with these kind of psychos.

"Always look on the bright side of life"

I ask you that question so you could realize the obvious

You didnt date this girl

You didn’t have sex with her.

She never helped you?

Or even care to know what going on with you

Why waste more time on this girl.

Believe me this girl is only fooling herself. This is her way to feel important in this tiny world, she probably doesn’t have anything better to do.
Why do you want to have sex with this girl? This is not love, you probably don’t have one good memorie with her.

To tell you the true you could never fucked her… you were playing minor league while she was playing a totally league different. She wasn’t going to fuck you put this in your head please. You were something to make her feel better… do you think she would she cares about you?

You think if you die tomorrow, she will shed a tear.(Gosh im being a bit extreme here) NO SHE WONT.

For her you are a big loser…

4 guys warned you, and you still thought you were special ahahah why? You must suck with girls.

Next time watch her behavior, her stance with you, the way she looks at you, start reading books about body language.

And don’t believe a word a girl says. They are manipulative what ive learn, is that ALL GIRLS no exception wants to be the world of her man, she will have crazy sex with you, will tell all the right things, the things you want to hear” You are the best boyfriend ive had” “you are special you are the only one that gets me” . don’t fucking believe it she has already told this to some guy she wants to feel special win you over, its in there nature , so too hold on a girl she can never be a world, because when she reach her objective she will dump you. So don’t believe her words.

I m going to give you homework you don’t have to read it but I think its going to help you is Robert green, the art of seduction. 48 laws of power.

Well sorry if this post is bit confusing but im sick and sleppy. Btw I hope you take no offense on the way I treat you, but you have to open your eyes to start on the true path.

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Oh! You've gotta be kidding me!

I appreciate it man. I think deep down I've always known this but I do suck with women. That's why I'm here.

I am taking your words to heart.

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Ahead of my time, like I live my whole life backwards.

Thanks, I am pretty thankful actually. I am working on just realizing why this happened and why I ignored the red flags early and that I should have walked away a long time ago. I just had no other options so I settled for what little contact I had with her even though it was miserable.


And no, if I died tomorrow, this chick wouldn't give two shits. If my dad died tomorrow, she wouldn't even respond to me. So there you go. What else do I need to say?

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Ahead of my time, like I live my whole life backwards.

I'm very much in the same boat, but its docking and i'm getting myself together very slowly but surely. I'm not ashamed to admit that i lurk the "Relationship" section of theis forum still looking for "The magical answer"

I'm going to take your "9 lessons learnt" and keep them on me if you don't mind... i think these lessons are appicable to everyone at some stage of their lives.

But its been told in the good book that to get over a chick, you need to get under 10 others... I'm going on a run and then preparing for a cinema date to see Twilight (fuck my fucking life) with a chick that i said i'd take her if we shift (Irish slang for K-close) after lol - I suggest you do the same!


Be strong man - your the result of 3 billion years of evolution, act like it.

There is no two ways about it. I am a pathetic loser. I never have had success with women and this experience has shown me why. So for anyone reading this, learn from this heartbreak.

1) If you are needy, you will be taken advantage of. If you always answer texts, calls are always available, hang on her every word, she will play you like the sucker you are and laugh at you when you realize she was just stringing you along.

2) Don't date women that live far away from you unless they are investing in you physically, otherwise she gets all the perks on her end and you are a sucker.

3) Actions not words.

4) If you lose your cool and show that a woman can get a rise out of you, then you are just a wimp.

5) Once a woman has no respect for you, its over. This is why you set boundaries WHEN they happen not later on. Once she walks all over you once, its over. You have to be ready to walk away at the drop of a dime so she knows that she can't just do whatever she wants. Once she feels like she has that power of you, there is no going back.

6) If you aren't happy in your life when you are completely alone, then you are setting yourself up for a disaster like this. This girl was the reason I was happy. She was the reason I did well in school. She was the reason I am here right now pursuing further education. But the second she is gone, your left sitting there with no direction, no identity. Nothing. So if you don't have internal direction, satisfaction and identity when you are completely ALONE I suggest you develop it before you get into a relationship.

Bottom line, I've been a loser and a weak little bitch for my entire life. Its no wonder that no chick would want to fuck me let alone date me. It is a shitty realization but it has to happen if I ever want to improve.

This whole situation has taught me that its not her fault at all. Its my fault for being a little bitch. Its my fault for putting her first all the time. I am the text book example of what every single pick up forum in the world talks about.

I let her walk all over me. I let her take advantage of me. Why would she be attracted to a guy like that? I let her do it because I had no other options. I was willing to let her do anything to me to not risk losing her or pissing her off. Then when it got to be too much, I lost my cool and insulted her instead of handling it like a man.

In all honesty, I'm not sad about her. I'm hurt because I know that I am pathetic. But I'll tell you what, I'm starting to feel better because I know that this experience was an excellent foundation to be successful sooner than later.

I handled nothing in this relationship like a man.

Frankly, if I were her, I wouldn't be attracted to me either.

Ok. Now that it's off your chest, it's time for some positive affirmations about yourself in which you define your goals for the next couple of month or even years! That will counter the negative influences you may have, and make sure to keep that in your pocket when you go sarging to maintain a high self-esteem level.

Make sure to write them in a positive fashion, without any negative words (e.g no "i don't") and in the present tense. They should summarize your ideal self, and should make you feel good when you read them to yourself.

Examples include the following: "I am sociable. I am friendly. Women want to meet me." You get the idea.

all im going to say is that you need to read your last reply again ..
and realize that you aren't a pathetic loser anymore..
now you know something about you and how that'' you'' responds to the outer world..
fucking win win ..

everything is a choice .. you are responsible for your experience'.. you took responsibility instead of blaming someone else and decided to learn something from it ..

that whats being a man is about...

tap yourself on the shoulder

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AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
questions about herbal medicine here-vp582526.html#582526

thanks, glad to put this shit behind me.

I have troubles concentrating, this was a hard read for me, so i'm going to reply...

Well it's simple... The relationship between a man and a woman is based on SEX. If it's not happening, one of the two is wanting it. In this case, you.

If you are not getting it. The 'relationship' is worthless, and you should find someone who is willing to give it to you.

Our brain is programmed, that we want something we can't have. You are willing too much (she knows she can have, so doesn't want) and you can't have so you stay attached too her.

Her telling you she gives handjobs to other guys is pure mindfuck. Fuck that.

No contact -> she starts to doubt her position that you are still willing, so she tries, and you bite, every single time -> gives her the power.

I think your situation with her is fucked... You can't be good friends becuase of the fucked up sexual tension, and you can't be lovers, becuase of the fucked up general situation.

No contact, never accept anything from her. Send her a txt, 'fuck you, these are my last words i ever say to you' and go find a normal girl, where you can have fun with.

FORGET HER!!