oh it's POF, definitely not facebook. I wouldnt accuse anyone of illegal activities on their facebook page, lol.
also, women 30+ react more often to it than women under that age. I've had multiple profile views from just the last day of sending out that type of message, (but no response) so my profile is clearly turning some otherwise curious people off. here it is for your judgement.
edit: okay so I cant post URL's. anyway my profile username is "haitianconnection"
on POF.

Tell you what let's start with your profile and go from there cause this might be a lenghty post but I want to help in every way that I can.

The first thing I notice about your profile photo is it looks like a basic webcam photo and is probably not the best picture of you. So I go to find another picture of you but there is just the one... Profiles with multiple photos on dating sites are PROVEN to get a lot more results than those that don't. The difference is just completely staggering. Show pictures of you out doing things you like...you at the club, playing a game, exercising, just anything but standing there or worse sitting at your computer. A photo or two of you with a girl would be good for preselection as well.

Second thing I noticed was your Headline "Might break the china glass" maybe that's more of a Nova Scotia thing but I don't get it. You really want to catch your readers attention with this so make it play off your personality... "The guy your mother warned you about." "I'm kind of an asshole." just something different and catchy.

Your profile says you want something "Long Term" but this is written too: "Intent haitianconnection isn't seeking a relationship or any kind of commitment." Sounds like you need to pick one. I'd personally put in there for a relationship. I think most of us would agree if you found "the right girl" you'd be in a relationship. So until that happens you can still date.

This is your whole profile, "I once drank a lake through a straw to save a drowning child. I can lift a steel beam with just my eyebrows and cut a diamond ring with my knuckles. I played rock paper scissors with a beehive and won. I caused a volcano in hawaii by thinking too hard. I'm the freaking SPAM.

My likes: movies with plots that make you say "WTF" when they end, sports cars that can make Pamela Anderson look average, music that makes you wanna pirate an album (but you'd NEVER do that, right?), and food that makes you feel classy just by eating it"

Okay so we just wasted the first 5 sentences in your profile with you telling a bunch of fictious stuff about how you are a bad ass. This crosses the line from confident to cocky and some! This doesn't convey much about you at all. You want to get your personality across to the reader.

The next paragraph really really needs to be something about what you are looking for so the girl knows the type of person you are after. This gives her a mental checklist if you will that lets her know is you are her type or not.

It's cool to include your likes but don't make a laundry list out of them. Just list a few so she gets an idea of what you are like.

Your first date: "sushi. caviar. jazz. Let's grab a drink and see if we click. " Wow, can you sound any more boring. How many guys or girls do you think have this on their profile? THOUSANDS!!! Get a little more creative here.

Finally, you want something in your profile to call the reader to action to message you. Profiles with this line do a lot better than those without. It also displays confidence.

----------------

Messaging girls on POF.

In your messages you are being overly cocky to the point of arrogance in your messages to these women. I'm not suprised most of them didn't respond. I got to be honest I let this girl I'm seeing read this and she agreed the one about the wine...not cool. While it is not a bad idea to comment on something said in her profile or her photo in your message, but you can do better than this! I agree your openers are original but they aren't getting the job done.

You are both on a dating site why not just be direct in your opener and get to the point. Just summing up here what you have isn't working for you. So that we aren't the textbook definition of insanity "doing the same thing over and over, expecting different results" let's change things up! You can still display confidence and do this.

_________________
Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

For sites that mention what you'd want to do a first date, can you please give any suggestions Jon, on what to say that would intentionally be humorously and ridiculously over the top (where a lady knows you're being a smartass) as you think that's a stupid thing to answer and/or what to say, if you want to be more serious and have no firm set ideas, because you know the first meeting is just seeing if yous click or not and want to go further.

Also how do you yourself currently call, or suggest calling, a female reader to be motivated to message you in the last 1 or 2 lines of your own profile, in either a serious, humorous, or semi-serious way.

Here is an example off my profile for what to do on the date section... Please don't just copy and paste this, but guys use the concept here.

Meet low key for a drink or a coffee. Something quick in case you're a creeper. P.S. No sex on a first date, so don't even try.

For a call to action I've been experimenting with several things. You could say something like:

If any of this sounds like you shoot me a message and let's see where it goes.

You should message me if you have a positive outlook, good energy, and we have something in common.

OR you could do what I call a false disqualifier call to action...

DO NOT MESSAGE ME IF YOU ARE: Stripper, Bartender, Actor, Musician, Song Writer, have implants, are a Taurus, or just after an intimate encounter. It just never works out...

_________________
Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

Hello J Smooth

I've been reading over some of your earlier posts and I had some questions regarding POF openers and titles.

First of all, what's a simple and easily repeated title-- or does it change with the profile? If so, how might I tailor the Title to the girl

Secondly, is there a generic but effective message that can be sent to girls or does this also change with the girl? If so, how might I adjust the message to the girl

I'm comfortable with my pics and am someone who hits the gym every day. Just started a POF account and want to know a good way of reaching out and talking to girls. Thanks for the help- I'm really liking this site

Bravo PUA has a great method figured out using scripted lines and titles. I must admit I've tried using his method and gained great results. Rather than me try to explain his material I'd recommend you watch the video below and hear it from him.

http://www.youtube.com/user/Under21conv ... 5fRrFJnrBg

Typically your title will stay the same unless you aren't getting good results with it, then you should change it out. There is little need to customize your title to the girl you are messaging.

A good way of reaching out and talking to girls is find girls that have profiles and pictures that interest you and send them a message.

_________________
Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

Thanks for the video and Post J Smooth, Very Helpful info!

I also wanted to ask what do you say after a girl gives you her number but specifies that she could call you if you want after an event. Do I go ahead and call her at that time or wait for her to call me?

In responding to her message about this, do I tell her to call me or how do I control the situation more?

Not sure about this stuff Thanks

If she says she is going to call you after "an event" then take her word at face value that she is going to do that. If you don't hear from her then the next day I would call her up and act like you may have missed her call... SO I would say something to the effect of...

"Hey, I got really really busy last night and I might have missed your call cause I had some missed call on my phone. I'm not sure if any of them were you, if so I'm sorry...."

The reason I frame it this way is it takes the pressure off of her for not calling. The girl is going to be concerned you are going to call her out for not talking to you after the said "event". Thus you apologize for missing her call for being busy. This allows her to save face and say she got busy too, and you can continue on with things without making it weird. Also, it gives you a demonstration of higher value spike by saying you were busy rather than saying you were sitting at home all night.

_________________
Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

I send the first message after she randomly messages me "What are you doing tonight?". My initial message was from that video you linked J smooth, Thanks so much for that. But I just ignored her first message until she sent the above.

Original Message YOU sent on 11/21/2011 3:04:40 PM
I'm about to go the gym, run and lift and do some studying
later (all after working today..)

Im off tonight so im just chillin at home


Where do I go from here? Do I suggest going to my place, her place. How might I go in for the number? Seems like this HB is looking to hook up though I marked "must not be looking for intimate encounter" and all the other ones like the video suggested

Keep in mind the whole not looking for an intimate encounter is more of a false disqualifier. It looks good on paper. Go for her # to test the waters. If that comes very easily then go from there.

_________________
Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

Hey Jsmooth, your advice worked once again. You're right on the money man.

My next question as the noob I am is about IODs, sepcifically with the match.com site. If I had 2 HB8s I got to message me but didn't reply to the 2nd message (which in all honestly sucked and asked them what they did, how they liked their work etc. lol),

are there solid responses to rekindle that conversation? I was searching the site and browsing thru this file specifically but couldnt find anything. I'd love to message these girls again and give it another go.

One of the girls was really short with her response

November 17
RE: Hello!
I'm glad tomorrows friday haha how bout you?
you said
November 17
Hello!
I liked your Profile and wanted to send a Friendly hello! How is your week going?

Zack

And I followed up by probably stating too much. I'm also starting to realize that emoticons, i.e. . . don't seem to work well for me, but I probably overuse them and make me look stupid.

Any thoughts on following up or a source of how to deal with IODs? Thanks

Quick thoughts on this...I've had this a lot. Maybe at a glance they like your profile and they respond, then maybe they read deeper and they don't like something. Maybe they got busy...who knows. For whatever reason I see this a lot where you get 1 message back and then nothing.

One of the things I like doing is just shooting a simple, "Hey, I totally meant to message you today but things have been crazy. How'd your day treat you?" anything you can think of that is a descent reason to reinitiate the conversation. I like a message simliar to above because it almost puts the blame on us being busy as they reason we haven't been talking, not her! This takes the pressure off and allows for her to talk to you again without feeling bad. Even then the results aren't the best. I'm working on bettering this but haven't found a magic formula though.

Good luck,

Jon

_________________
Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

Hey Jsmooth, Thanks again for great advice! I tried your response and had a 1/3 on match.com, which is a pretty good rate for trying to re-initiate conversation.

Yesterday I was also trying to get with a HB9-9.5 on POF, the hottest girl I've seen on the site so far. I think I messed up somewhere along the way or could have improved the conversation.

Perhaps I went for the number too soon? But maybe I could send a follow up message as well?

Haven't heard from her since my last message (which was yesterday after some rapid fire back and forth). In the future could I do something better here? Thanks


From: zmansman87
interesting.. so what's your number? maybe I can arrange
something and it would be a surprise.. i like someone who
is up for new things

From: tmarie09
Sent Date:11/22/2011 8:12:21 PM Subject: RE:Serious Question
haha a little of both, depends my mood. I like trying new things.

From: zmansman87
Sent Date:11/22/2011 8:09:32 PM Subject: RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:Serious Question
depends how adventurous you are.. are you up for karaoke
bar or more of a collecting sea glass by the beach type?

From: tmarie09
Sent Date:11/22/2011 8:00:11 PM Subject: RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:Serious Question
depends but i think i could handle that


From: zmansman87
Sent Date:11/22/2011 7:57:42 PM Subject: RE:RE:RE:RE:Serious Question
Really like your profile. I think we can have some fun
together. If you can handle a good date..

From: tmarie09
Sent Date:11/22/2011 7:51:16 PM Subject: RE:RE:RE:Serious Question
lol thanks


From: zmansman87
Sent Date:11/22/2011 7:46:26 PM Subject: RE:RE:Serious Question
lol I hope you can take a joke, I thought you were
adorable, I just had to say hi

From: tmarie09
Sent Date:11/22/2011 7:40:51 PM Subject: RE:Serious Question
Remove what picture?

From: zmansman87
Sent Date:11/22/2011 3:04:54 AM Subject: Serious Question
You should remove that picture

I don't know if this is, or used to be, your own situation Jon, but if a guy got pretty good with both online game (if he's using a standard dating site only) and in person approaching, how could he verbally frame things and verbally address with women, the issue of him wanting to date actively - in other words wanting to see multiple women, rather than starting to date the one lady monogamously. It would be foolish for a guy using a standard dating site, to talk about this on his profile, if he wanted to get replies back.

Plus should he address it in person, or by EMail. It'd be very foolish for a guy to be deceitful about this and be a player behind a lady's back, as she'll eventually find out. I have nothing against having a serious relationship and don't rule it out in future, plus I respect those who are seeking that objective, but for the time being, I don't want that.

Hey man,

I think your interaction overall was good, FUN, and playful! I think this was a great way to start out talking to her and she was definitely digging the interaction. I wouldn't have gone for the # quite so fast without establishing some base line superficial comfort and into rapport some.

Basically, the girls like you and responded back to you. She had great messages back and forth with a fun and playful interaction. That's great! However, when you ask for her # what happens is she realizes I like the guy and am attracted to him but I know nothing about him... Is he safe? What's his family life like? Is he normal? What am I going to talk to him about on the phone or a date?

These questions are answered when you spend a bit of time going over rapport/comfort building questions in which you can give your response in advance. For instance.... maybe something along the lines of the following.

"Are you really close to your family? Do you have any brothers or sisters? The reason I ask is I have a large family. I have 3 half sisters and 3 half borthers. I'd do anything for them. I couldn't imagine them not being part of my life, even though sometimes they get on my nerves."

Does that make sense?

My suggestion to recover this is what I call "Back up and Punt." You goofed up you know it and she knows it. I'd probably say, "You know we were having a great interaction and I got a little excited asking for your number. Truthfully, I want to get to know you a little better first......" then bridge into trying to establish rapport/comfort. Wait a while to ask again for her #.

Jon

_________________
Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...