Why it's harder for guys to survive withdrawals



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PostPosted: Wed Nov 16, 2011 8:01 pm 
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Surviving "breaks" (withdrawals) is inevitably harder for guys than for girls.

Every relationship is based on the principles mutually agreed on by both partners but these confines eventually get bent in favor of the girl because it is naturally more difficult for guys to maintain their sphere of influence.

If the primary reinforcer for women is sex, then withdrawing sex in reaction to something they don’t like still PRESERVES attention. In other words, imagine you come home at 2 am one night and your girlfriend gets pissed off that you came home so late. She withdraws sex; but it ends there. She is still able to get her end of the dynamic (attention) through the subsequent fighting, yelling, bitching, screaming, etc. In fact, the chemical rush from a fight is almost a necessary component of a healthy relationship.

It’s not the same for guys. If the primary reinforcer for men is attention; they CANNOT fulfill their end of the spectrum after something goes wrong. Imagine you’re pissed off at your girlfriend and you treat it with raw indifference that night. Are you going to randomly fuck her in the middle of ignoring her? No – you give up both sides of the dynamic; attention AND sex. While this means it’s doubly effective (the girl loses hand because you’ve stripped her of her ace) it also means it’s more difficult to exercise.

Hence we have the term whipped by the vagina. How many times has a guy given up too easily on a meltdown just because he needed to polish his nob? Discipline is difficult to come by but a requisite for any successful relationship. Patience is the refined form of unfettered confidence.

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PostPosted: Thu Nov 17, 2011 1:03 am 
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thank you again shark


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PostPosted: Thu Nov 17, 2011 2:50 am 
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thanks, hakuna

insightful and intelligent as usual

your post helped me to put concrete and linear words to what i've always felt in a non-concrete and non-linear fashion

the only way for a man to maintain power is to legitimately not care

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PostPosted: Thu Nov 17, 2011 6:34 pm 
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Well you can care and at the same time remain uncaring knowing that you are still a great catch. Working so far, though the part about me being a great catch she can sense and is why she keeps distant she believes I'll cheat and or be thinking about other woman.
This isn't uncommon, if anything it should show you why game is even more important. Although typically PUA advice focuses almost entirely on attraction, relationships are about keeping the balance between attraciton / rapport which is why beta signaling (showing commitment) is STILL an aspect of game; even though it's much less emphasized in forums / blogs.

This is also why most people misinterpret "game" as being exclusively applicable to one-night stands and pick-ups. Thousands of articles are based on being uncaring, aloof, and distant but the real key to game is weaving between the two contradicting personas

asshole / loving
spontaneous / calculative
unpredictable / reliable
total frame control / showing a bit of vulnerability

If a girl is TRULY keeping her distance because of ANXIETY (and not because she has lower interest level that you're simply misgauging) then you're probably not building enough rapport.

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PostPosted: Fri Nov 18, 2011 1:12 am 
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I dont ussually give rep but you totally deserved nice. ty

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PostPosted: Fri Nov 18, 2011 3:15 pm 
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Lets be honest here..

woman got a advantage is society nowadays...

why ?

if she breaks up with you or she withholds sex.. she can go to club , sit there looking good doing nothing and she will get compliments from random dudes. If you breakup at that same night she will pickup a new guy by doing nothing .. just by sitting at a bar. Meanwhile they guy have to deal with all these logic and emotions , for guys it's just way harder to get a new GF especially when they are temporarily emotionally unhealthy.

i mean how many times did you hookup with a girl only to find out she recently broke up with her ex BF .. like 2 or 3 weeks ago....?

yesterday some woman told me some spiritual shit .. on how i should stop searching for things , stop getting what i want and just sit back and let it come. Yeah that comes out of a womans mouth... total bullshit.. you don't get relationships and woman you want by being passive, you need to be active AND selective. People who give you advice are bullshitting in most cases .. there is no single side on a coin. Be active and selective but also be passive WHEN YOU NEED TO.

i can remember my first girlfriend.. she was insane , if she felt bad for no particular reason she would discharge it on me and withhold sex. of course me getting more frustrated and powerless in the relationship. it ended with me crying in her about on how much it sucked... she telling me it's ok blabla.. no it's not ok, this chick knew what she was doing from the getgo - she probably got some power ego boost from it.

what i have learned over and over.. is that you should never compromise who you you are - your boundaries and value for some woman or sex. Relationship , dating or sex relationships AKA fuckbuddies... i've been in relationships and sex relationships which undermined me , in most cases those woman aren't even realizing they are doing it. just cut the shit... i've seen the best guys seeking approval and sex , i do it as well.

just recognize your own bullshit games and recognize their bullshit games.. if you have a sex relationship but she's making things difficult then just tell her she's a drama queen and leave tell her to stop acting like you have a retarded relationship. IF you have a relationship and she's witholding sex for several weeks just approach/ date other woman... during a date just call your girlfriend and tell her you are going to visit a prostitute.. if she asks why just hang up the phone.

do not give power to anyone.. sex is nice but it also sucks.. ever fucked a woman without condom and you regret it... the sex wasn't that great and you may have compromised your health ? same for your psychological health... some woman are such headaches they really can fuck you up mentally.

asshole / loving
spontaneous / calculative
unpredictable / reliable
total frame control / showing a bit of vulnerability

it's funny because this is me.. most people call me unstable or mentally insane sometimes... one day i can laugh and compliment you and another day i will fuck you up and push you away for saying stupid shit.

Be a asshole until people deserved your respect
Only love someone when they really need it.. don't make a commodity out of love
Be spontaneous to others
Be calculative to yourself and when you aren't getting you needs met
Be unpredictable to everyone except yourself
Be reliable to yourself
Always control yourself
Do not care about controlling others

Number one advice to prevent getting emotional and controlled in dating or relationships .. GAME MULTIPLE WOMAN AND DATE MULTIPLE WOMAN... seriously... it's not about you supressing your emotions or using woman as a cure for stress... it's just about increasing your options , not getting stuck with woman you do not want in the first place.

just cheat on everyone but stay true to yourself... because most people cheat on themselfs and try to stay true to everyone.

do you know angry sex or make up sex when you had a fight... when a woman crossed your boundaries don't fucking accept sex. Because she will just runover your boundaries again and again.. thinking she can make it up with you by sleeping with you... and when she controls the sex you are fucked.

instead .. when someone crossed your boundaries.. just tell them to fuckoff.. you do not want sex only .. you want someone to not cross your boundaries and you want sex. IF they don't respect you don't sleep with them ( relationships.. who cares bout one night stands etc ). IF you girlfriend crosses your boundaries just leave.. tell her you are going to sleep at your friend place... or sleep on the couch... just ignore her for a week. most you guys are just too easy on woman.. accepting someone doesn't mean you have to accept their ridicilious behaviour.

it's not about control altho you always should control yourself..

it's about being a real man...a man doesn't chode out when he gets controlled by a woman.. he doesn't care and just grabs another one , that's how it goes in nature and that's how it always would be - Stop ignoring what and who you really are... start waking up. everyone is unique and you should respect everyone... that maybe so but you only live for a few decades - you don't want to invest your time in useless people and useless bullshit which fuck you up mentally .. life is too short.

woman do not have dicks but that doesn't mean they couldn't be dicks, if you lose respect for your woman just treat her like every person you see .. don't try to turn her into someone who you respect , that's her problem.

i don't know what's so fucking hard about this .. she fucks you up and you leave... yes you will be depressed.. so what ? you will be depressed when you get fired , you will be depressed when someone passes away and you will be depressed when your dog shits on your new turkish carpet. What so weird about being depressed ? It's just a survival mechanism... if i wake up and feel like shit i would be like '' hey fuck this shit .. i already feel bad anyway i got nothing to lose , fuck that shit.. il dump her''. Because you are already feeling bad .. you are already standing against the wall.. let people push and let them waste useless energy.

a part of being a man is standing with your back against the wall.. im fucking proud of my wall.. most guys just run around grabbing their hair telling themselfs not knowing what to do... just fucking stand against the wall with your back .. it's rock bottom , you cannot get any lower.

just admit you are fucking feeling bad.. just strip yourself from every excuse.. most guys who are stuck in bad relationships just make excuses for themself to STAY into the relationship... Ever felt like you never would meet another woman again even tho you have deadly good game ? Also do not express you anger on other people .. just tell them to cut the shit but never insult them directly... be responsible for your own exeprience... Even if someone else is to blame you are still 50 % responsible... because you have your own perspective.

if you feel bad and you are with your back against the wall .. that is no time to fucking yield or cry... if a woman is giving you shit thats not the time to back away... i say F-U-C-K that shit...let them push. When you are in the field gaming other woman just fucking go for it- you got nothing to lose... you are single already and you aren't getting sex what do you got to lose ? nothing .. just go for it.

Do not care about people once they have crossed your line .. if they would care about you they wouldn't cross your line anyway. im serious .. if my girlfriend is withholding sex in a harsh way trying to control me i never contact her again.. if i want to be controlled i walk into a full stacked gay bar tossing/picking up soaps in front of myself.

Of course there are different relationships .. if you have a sex relationship it's different.. but what i have learned here is that you have talked to her about being fuck buddies... even in this scenario - if she's withholding sex for weeks just walk the fuck away.. if it's a one night thing it's a one night thing... if you are fuckbuddies it's different.. you have a sex relationship or you don't have one.

same with being friends .. if someone is withholding themselfs for being my friend it's ok.. but after a few weeks or months and a dozen of unreplied text messages you have to think and make your decsision...you cannot respect something which doesn't deserve your respect.

POINT IS : .. STOP VALUEING EVERY RELATIONSHIP WHEN IT REACH THE POINT WHERE YOU SHOULDN'T VALUE IT

in most cases .. it's better to push then to pull.. if you push you create more space.. if you pull you give yourself less space. Be your own dad and be your own advocate when you need to, it's in your right to do so.

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PostPosted: Fri Nov 18, 2011 3:55 pm 
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Quote:
thanks, hakuna
insightful and intelligent as usual
your post helped me to put concrete and linear words to what i've always felt in a non-concrete and non-linear fashion

the only way for a man to maintain power is to legitimately not care
no .. it's about not caring AND ABOVE ALL EXPRESSING that you don't care.. if you don't express in that particular moment how you feel you will probably be angry on yourself and other people dor doing so.

when dealing with all woman it's better to push than to pull .. this is in relationships , pickup , dating etc.

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questions about herbal medicine here-vp582526.html#582526


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