legendish... just to be clear...

you aren't grabbing her arm to impress her .. you aren't staring at her tits just to impress her ... woman want to be taken .. woman want a dominant guy to take them. you are talking , touching and telling her because you are a man .. you are not playing games, you are a fucking male... look between your legs, now think about her tits... what is the difference...

exactly.. be doing nothing you won't get anywhere .. there comes a point where you passed passive mode - there comes a time when you need to take what you want. After you have established value or DHV yourself you need to initiate and take her - you don't want to blow her off everytime.. you want her to blow your dick.

i don't understand... what is so hard about this ?... guys probably value the girl too much and are afraid of losing her.... don't be afraid.. take her .. if it doesn't work out just move to the next woman that runs into your crosshairs...it's just like hunting with a gun.. you don't have enough ammo to hunt all these woman down because there are too many of them.

once you find one just throw away your airsoft rifle and grab a rocket launcher... that's how it should work.

how to establish sexual interest and male dominance ?
do not make excuses and take what you want.. stare at her tits , just do not care what she thinks because she probably likes it.

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AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
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you are a man goddamnit ...

take her hand .. spin her around and check her body .. look at her ass and her tits.. woman are there to enjoy... there is no fucking secret about it.. woman to male interaction.

woman dress themselfs and wear make up to impress guys.. they fucking do it for your enjoyment.. you can at least check her out.

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AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
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In that case I'm doing good and you nailed the guess, that she is looking for more emotsional connection. I could use another tip on comforting her, because she lives out of town a bit and when she feels like crashing down because all the drama in the world etc etc, she takes it all in herself and I can't be allways there to support her and when I do by phoning her or talking in fb/ msn it is not definetly the same when I would be there, but is there any other angle I could do or use. I did went to visit her by suprise in the morning when she was sleeping after night of tears and that cheered her up, but any other ideas?

What I'm thinking of doing this week is calling her and telling her that I don't like the situation we're in currently. I'll propose that we start seeing each other again, but not necessarily dating until she realizes that I'm not the same as I was before, then see where that goes. If she isn't down for that, I think it's best to completely cut contact. Although I think it may be awkward in the future, for nightlife at the least. There is only one really popular club in town, and I presume that if I don't even talk to her, she will go out of her way to try and make me jealous.

She's down to be more than friends, which is all the leverage I really need to take this where I want it. She says she doesn't know where hanging out will go, because she is still attracted to me, so that's good. Although she is a little unsure about this, and claims to not want to hurt me. This is progress though.

blablabal ..woman yada yada .. attraction isn't a choice.. if she's attracted she will try to create logical reasons to counter those emotions. Instincts are stronger anyway - do not pay attention to what she says because most of it is inaccurate bullshit.

if a woman tells me she doesn't want to hurt me and she's attracted, but at the same time she respects me, she tries to rationalize attraction.... game on.. she's trying to put roles on you to kill attraction , if you submit to her image of you you kill attraction.

What i do not like from woman is getting compliments on how nice i am , im a good guy or something like that. Because i know she's trying to put this nice guy role on me to kill attraction... even if im not interested to her i still don't like compliments like '' i don't want to hurt you '' '' you are a goodguy'' blablabla.... because what woman say is not what they think , there is a underlaying type of communication - the context under the verbal interactions.

because .... people could give you compliments just for their own self interest..

because.. people trigger instant anger when they say shit like that.. because im not a nice guy.. im not a goodguy...... ''oh your a goodguy'' .. like im never fucking angry in my entire life... i've treated some woman like trash and i got alot of compliments ? you see ? they could be shit test or them putting roles on you.

you get my point ? people just try to make something of you which you are not , they will try to cross your boundaries this way , i once met a older woman.. slept with her and she gave me a shitload of complliments , i felt like i needed to constantly be my best self - i couldn't fucking relax , and me getting angry in the process.

A tactic people use is giving you love when you are pissed .. they try to be neutral , at first you would think ''hey that's nice'' or something like that. Truth is it's not.. if you accept compliments and love interactions before having a relationship you will only get attached...

I NEVER ACCEPT COMPLIMENTS...because .. they make you needy and obsessive - like a drug... only accept compliments from your parents , school teachers or mentors... be indifferent to the rest.. if someone random calls you smart it's probably because they are stupid - it's no rocket science...the only compliments that matter to me are one like '' hey you have changed'' '' you really became more mature''.. i constantly work at my inner game, i want to be appreciated sincerely and not because someone wants some ridicilious approval from.

yesterday i spoke to someone who qualified to me , pushed me away and giving me compliments .. i say fuck that.. first she crossed my boundaries with ridicilious push/pull qualify behaviour with a neg like '' hey im good relationship material but im not going to hook up with you even tho we slept together'' and then she gives me compliments ? if she didn't cross my boundaries in the first place i wouldn't be pissed..

it's just some woman wanting validation from me... f*ck that shit... who wants that shit anyway ? i just told her she's talking shit.. told her she's not credible.. suddenly she's giving me all these '' i care about you messages ''..i replied that she should get a role in some drama movie, she probably would get a emmy award. again this is a woman who i directly told im going to fuck her brains out...now she's being nice and weird.

they just try to kill your game-attitude by putting you in a role...you can accept compliments and you can accept someones harm reduction behaviour but you cannot attach value to such things, why in earth even care about you ? what is in it for her ?

people who say they really don't give shit..people who say they do not manipulate .. people who say they only receive..those people are the most compliments accepting , manipulating , approval seeking people. Just trust those people... just interact with them and have fun , your boundaries and values will save you from alot of trouble. That's why you need clear boundaries - so you can relax and sit back.

if you ever get pissed for no particular reason.. if you are impatient when dealing with certain woman ; it's probably some boundary issue , they've probably crossed your boundaries and now you are stuck with aggressive emotions. You feel like they have done nothing to harm you but you feel backstabbed for some reason - you feel angry. Compliments and love can also make you angry... Someone can undermine/ingnore what you are feeling with love / compliments.

if you are impatient with her you should practice patience... but you also should set clear boundaries and leading interactions if things don't go your way a full 100%. everything come down on observing your ego and being objective and aware in interactions when you need to.

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you can do alot of stuff.. just post something in the general questions .. alot of people will come up with good suggestions. don't be her security blanket ... because you are not her parent. emotional connection is by sharing experiences... vacations , sex , romantic shit , going out. Long distance sucks... i hate long distance relationships , because you cannot be there for eachother when you really need to.

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AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
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Lodewijkp, I've read ALL of this thread and your insight is impressive. I would like your advise on my situation.
I'm 27 and dated a 19yr old (HB 9) for almost 6mo.(5 months ago). She said she wanted to be exclusive and I agreed to it but we never brought up the BF/GF term. We had a great connection, sex was great and we were great together, but she started getting depressed with exams/work, etc... said she didn't have the time she would like for the relationship and that we werent GF/BF, so it would be better to end it for the moment (never understood if this was a complain from her or an excuse to break it up more easily. I actually never brought it up because I wasnt exactly sure she wanted it yet but we were close to it). I'm almost positive that she hasn't been with anyone else since, at least not seriously. No contact after that except for a supposedly misdialed from her 2 months later.
Turns out she joined my gym (2 months ago) and we saw each other again. Saw her there like 3 times and things were as great as when we were dating but I tried to cut it short mostly.
After that we spent 3 casual dates together that went very well. Lot of fun, good memories, emotional connection, she got to cry and I had to comfort her, etc. Tried to make her come to my apartment once but she said it wouldn't be appropiate (she said that same thing to me multiple times when we first met each other as well so not worried about it) She said she had a great time multiple times and we agreed to do it again. I didn't K-close as logistics were not that good and I don't want to get blown up given the history together.
Current situation: she's busy with her final exams until Dec 1st. so she asked me to wait till she's done. I said: baby it's fine...we'll talk later and we can go dancing together one night (there's a cool small lounge/club that we know and where we met each other that is good for going in pairs). We also have an inside joke on her dancing, so I think that is a great place to do some kino, attraction, etc and escalate to make out and sex after.

How should I play it? She likes playing hard to get (Ive always teased her about it) and she's also been VERY emotional. Studying + work made her tired, everything is a drama, etc. When she's with me I get to change that from her but would like more help on how to change her mood. I think this is KEY. It's easier when we are face to face but not so easy for me while texting/calling. She plays really hard to get over the phone. Also, would you go hard on her or play it aloof and wait for her to reaaally ask for it? I need to manage her emotions in the right way.

Anything would be appreciated.

manotas

bro..i understand where you are coming from .. it ended all vague and almost unofficial.. typically woman .. always in the moment attached to their emotional rollercoasters.. you should have walked away, just in the middle of the conversation. she drops the relationship word but ignores the fact that you are BF / GF ? words don't mean shit you see - she's attracted otherwise she wouldn't get involved with you again.
no coincidence... did she knew you were training at that gym ? if that's the case it's her deep subconcious giving her clues - that's why i think she's still attracted / attached. next time ask her '' do you trust me '' .. she probably does otherwise she wouldn't date you again. Woman do not lead.. they want someone to give them a plausible deniability. she's just emotional not knowing what to do .. lead and give her clues. once you gave her a plausible deniability regarding trust you create a powerfull connection right there. even if the logistics aren't good .. just kiss close her and be the first one to push her away - to avoid buyers remorse. Woman are emotional and in the moment when they are attracted , if you can kiss close you must do it ( if you want to ). don't be afraid to take risks...
here is where you go wrong .. you give her all the power like you are waiting on her. there is no guarantee she will come back to you even tho she's very likely to be attracted to you. You should have told her you don't like to wait..and you are going to date other woman as well. just like you are in power of your own situation. Don't let someone think they got power over you... seriously...people misbehave and give you false comfort when you do such shit....

you are not into a relationship.. you are dating again.. you need to get this relationship frame outside your head... don't be afraid to take risks and don't be afraid to be unpredictable. Don't do phone game... phone game is terribly inconsisten with woman who are batshit crazy emotionally attracted... do not contact her over the phone.

You already are attached otherwise you wouldn't post here .. if you invest more than her ''especially'' at phone game and she doesn't reply you will get frustrated - you will feel disrespected and you will get frustration attraction - this will leave you in a terrible impatient postition.

correct your focus ...
You are not going to change her mood and you are not going to manage her emotions...she's already attracted there is no need. Her work situation , her emotions and her thoughts are her problems, not yours. What is good for you ? do you want to wait ? are you expecting too much results ? do you even want to play games ? Cut the fucking crap and stop playing games , do not contact her over the phone UNLESS ITS REALLY IMPORTANT...and if you do have something important to say keep it very short.

Do you know why she's acting like all drama .. it's because she's all drama , don't get drawn into this shit.. create distance and don't get swallowed into frustration atraction. Get her outside your head , date other woman or at least talk to other woman. She doesn't owe you anything , could be she changes her mind about meeting you - it's a possiblity. That's why you need to game other woman, just in order to get detached and to prevent a possible one-itis.

your attitude ? should be : indifferent , bussy with your own life , alot of choices when it comes to life....don''t get swallowed in her emotional rollercoasters , don't get affected by that shit - it kills attraction.... just stick to the attitude even when you don't want to and only deal with her face to face

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Lode, as always, you're very clear. Thanks for the insight man, you really got it. I will play it like that. The phone game insight on me getting frustrated is right on the money.
Yes she did know that I was going to that gym. Also the fact that she only had one relationship before ours (4 year relationship) and that she doesnt want to come across him AT ALL (despite the fact that she was the one leaving him) makes me think she has some attraction towards me.
One last question... since you say to avoid phone game, should I not contact her at ALL unless she does until we can meet again (after her final exams)? I know I played it wrong when I said what I said and gave her the power. Its done.
No contact from now on unless she initiates and resume contact the week she's almost done with exams?
And yes, while I value the connection we have a lot, Im for sure talking to other girls in the meantime. I dont want to get too attached.

you have the right questions and answers...

do not think about contacting her after her exams.. just date other woman and do your own stuff. Just think about contacting her when she finished exams ? why decide now ? you can decide later... it's not important.. if you need to take a descision becasue you feel stressed .. just text message you are going to contact her after her exams... if she fucked up you are going to spank her or something like that.

what gives stress ? not taking a descision... ending a relationship feels terrible for a month or 2.. maybe a few weeks ( could be longer ). but staying in that relationship maybe feels less terrible , but you will burn yourself more on long term.

take the descision to face stress or take a desision to get away from stress ( not running away )

do the right thing

Phone game is pure pure pure stress... once you care about someone YOU always will care about them replying or not and you will always feel frustrated and disrespected when they do not reply. If you do not care about her not replying then you do not give a fuck about the woman, then you don't respect her opinions or words. IF you don't know if you are attached or frustrated.. just do some phone game and see..

im fucking good at phone game and internet game .. for me it's easier to read someones mind through text because i can take time to analyze it when i need to. But even when you have good phone game it will be frustrating, because like i said before in the morning the woman feels like Z and in the afternoon she feels like X.

peoples emotional states change throughout the day and so does text communication, that's why it's so difficult with emotional or flaky woman. Because a conversation which was sexual could easily turn sour just because she had to clean the toilet or because she had a arguement with her mom. you constantly need to evaluate the context of each conversation on a certain time of the day.

and if you analyze to much you will start caring too much about what they think or say.. you will start thinking about what to say and you become stiffled , need and second guessing if you have said the right thing....

Numbers do not mean shit in pickup.. almost everyone will give their number to you when you ask them. Problem is that they are unreliable because you have 0 emotional connection with those people .. they will only flake on you. Alot of guys who get into pickup will try to get numbers in minutes.. at the end of the day they got like 50 numbers and they all flake... only one or 2 responds and in most cases those are woman who you don't even want ( unless you are lucky ).

you will always get stressed when someone flakes..always..because you feel disrespected when they ignore you and you cannot do anything about it ... in face to face interactions you can adress everything .. in phone game is just much harder.

BUT IT ALL DEPENDS ON WHAT YOU ARE SAYING AND WHAT YOUR MOTIVATIONS ARE..

you can wish someone goodnight...you don't need a reply back right ? there are simple messages you can send without getting stressed.. im not saying to wish her goodnight every night.. im just saying you don't have to say or talk alot to make someone feel special...

if you aren't getting the results you want just change the type of communication.. this is so so so so so important... if she ignores you messages then do not call her.. and this is very hard, but it's much easier to not call her than to fuck your change of hooking up with her.

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Thanks again, I really do think she is trying to force me into a friend role with the "compliments" and such. In my opinion she just wants someone to deal with her emotional problems right now, and if we aren't going to date, or hook up at least, I won't be doing that.

We hung out the other night and watched some TV. I initiated most physical contact, such as holding and kissing, and she was receptive to it. She told me today that she hoped things could stay that way, and she enjoyed spending time with me, but not hurting me came up again. I'm not really sure how to call her on it. I'm thinking that it's just an excuse so that she doesn't have to commit to anything, and can friendzone me. I thought I made it pretty clear when we talked last week that we needed to be more than friends, but it seems like she wants to force me into the friendzone.

The next time we see each other, I'll keep up the physical stuff, as she's been fully receptive to it so far. Hopefully that will help.

you will do fine ..

there is nothing wrong with getting compliments or giving them .. AS LONG YOU DON'T CHODE YOURSELF OUT.. don't get into roles and powerplay.

you don't want to shoot yourself in the foot by being something what someone else wants you to be.... be who you want to be...stay true to yourself no matter what

treat it all like shit tests...she's trying to friend zone you with shit tests..like all woman do .. lol

above all .. message to all guys or woman ... if you are being emotional or not knowing what to do JUST DO NOTHING... create a pause .. go working out , go fishing , hang out with friends. cultivate a pause between emotions , accept the emotions but don't perform a impulsive descision based on those emotions.. you can deal with shit later when you have created clearity

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Need advice about my relationship...

4 years relationship, last few months passion is degrading quite a lot. Up to a point where I'm unhappy. The main problem is lack of physical intimacy and it springs oneitis/jealousy on my side.

Current state of relationship is this:
1. We see eachother 1-2 times a week.
2. We call eachother every 2-3 hours, having the same routine for 3 years, she does some 2/3 of calls.
3. Sexual messages/talks are now almost completely gone from relationship.
4. Sex has fallen from every time we're together 3-4 times to most times we're together, but most often 1x only.
5. When we're alone she often avoids physical intimacy.
6. When we're in public she often initiates physical intimacy (this one confuses me when paired with 5.)
7. I have oneitis and am jealous, mostly because of her reduced sex drive.
8. Month ago it happened for the first time that we were together at my place and did not have sex at all.
9. I have the feeling that with physical intimacy, she just wants to get over with it, and then have us do something else together.

I talked to her about the state of our relationship. She says she didn't notice any changes and that she is very happy with our relationship. She admitted that she did took me for granted a bit last few months, but she says her perspective on this is that now we have a stable longterm relationship and it is 'normal'. When we talked she cried and all that because she says she only wants to make me happy. She also said that perhaps sex drive issue is from the pills she's been on for last six months.

I have some doubts on how to continue, and wheter to continue at all. Basically, she promised she will invest herself more in relationship, but I'm not sure if that is going to happen - usually my experience is that even with her best intention female can't change her sex drive and desire.

So, partly, this is just to write my experience, but also I'd like to know your opinions on state of my relationship, and how to continue.

Best,
mekong

lol mekong...

actually i didn't knew what to write because it's so simple. you are not getting your needs met and she is having a different perspective on the whole matter..
just simply talk to her about it... she wants to make you happy right..?
how would you conversate about this ?

if she doesn't want to change then leave.. i still recommend you to interact with other woman .. makes you less needy...

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