Ok, so ive been LJBF by this one person i know im pretty sure, she hasnt mentioned it ever, but im just pretty sure or she would have made some distinct efforts to escalate with me or accept my escalations. Its not a big deal, but i dont wanna keep her around as a friend because she gives me WAYY to many ioi's. Its absolutely ridiclous, and she doesnt treat me like the way she treats other guys shes "lets just befriend"ed. I really hate being ioi'd by someone whos gonna do this it makes me feel inferior and is just gonna make me turn into an afc. The question is, i wanna start ignoring her and not giving her any attention, but i dont wanna do it in a punishable way. I also dont want to do it in a way that looks like im doing it on purpose out of frustration, im just genuinely not interested in hanging around someone thats going to ioi and kino me all the time and then leave it at that.

Are you POSITIVE she doesn't want more from you? It kind of sounds like she does to me at this point, from the info I've got here.

i really dont know, the situation is weird. She gives me alot of kino, iois, initiates every conversation, etc. She treats me very diferent from other guys shes LJBF'd. Just this weekend she wanted me to come to this party. So i come to the party, and she is staying sober for the night. Not a terrible sign i asked her why she said she had to go early, which she did. While there ( i was a little tipsy she was completely sober though ) i initiated kino which she didnt seem to receptive about, and i tried to isolate (tried to pull a mystery, got up, looked at her, then looked away as i motioned with my hand for her to come) and she gave me a puzzled look, i pretended not to care and kept walking. The next day she initiated conversation and we were having good rapport, but she was going to a work party and getting drunk that night, i find that a bit weird staying sober at a party im at then getting drunk at that kind of party, makes me think im ljbfd.

If she hasn't said "LJBF" then you are still fine.
As L.A. said, you sound like your in a good position.

I just have to wonder what specifics have made you feel like a "LJBF" has occured.

Maybe you need to calibrate while you are escalating, is she into it or not? If she doesn't show either way, take it slow and keep going for it.

You know what you want, and you know you are going to get it.

thanks, so should i keep going for it? i was thinking maybe it was time to stop talking to her as much, looking disinterested and not giving her anymore kino/ignoring hers so she realizes how much she misses talking to me/getting kinod by me (if she likes it in the first place i have no clue, she doesnt not like it though shel still reinitiate a conversation and kino with me after i kino her) but im just getting the feeling i am like she would have accepted the isolation at that party, and the next day im thinking she would have came to where i was going that night rather then the work party (i never specifically asked her too but she asked what i was doing and i just told her, i didnt ask her what she was doing cuz i already knew, she told me earlier and i didnt wanna ask just to hear the answer i knew)

She asked you where you were going or what you were doing. Whether she had planned to go to the work party or not, you had a chance to actually steer her your direction, but you didn't take it.

Take control of the situation man. Tell her to come along with you somewhere that you will both have fun. And, when you're escalating kino, push the boundaries and go for a k-close. Tell her you want to kiss her, then go for it.

your right LA, i think i may have done some damage by not asking, i REALLY went mentally afc and believed if i asked her to come with she would have said no, but now that i think about i was being pretty oblivious, she asked what i was doing and i said so and so might have people over, and she said really, and i said really back, (not asking what she was doing) and then she said "really really". I was hoping this disinterest would make her invite me to where SHE was going, because im pretty sure she would have just came to wher i was going as she knows those people quite well, i dont think she would have needed my permission to come. its going to be hard to keep attraction going throughout the week until the weekend to go for the K close(not many weekday options for us) should i still try and look disinterested in her? like ignore her kino and what not, or would this be a bad move and should i still communicate some sort of interest to let her know im not done with her yet.

sounds like the situation i was JUST in. Chick ioi's, kino's, obviously flirts. But then ends up saying she is not interested.

Anyway, after reading more of your situation however, it sounds like you have her interested...but you need to escalate. You're over thinking it and trying to sarge to much by the book. You need to roll with what you learned. Interpretive thinking and acting; this isn't color by numbers, its ad-libbing. ;p

Act disinterested, but still act somewhat interested. It seems (from what you said) you have gotten her to the point where she wants to hang out. Don't just ignore her ioi's. It is okay to ask her to do something. Move forward; just don't seem needy while doing so.

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At this point, definitely let her know you're interested. LOL, you fucked up already by not showing her, hehe, don't do it again.

Damn man, she said "really really". LOL, she was in her mind thinking PLEASE get me out of what I'm supposed to be doing and TELL me to come along with you.

That's another thing . . . don't ask her, just TELL her to come along. Just like at that point, she would have come. From what you say, she WANTS you man. Go for it. If you can possibly get with her this week, DO IT.

thanks i appreciate the encouragement, it was pretty funny that i was oblivious but it was online so it wasnt as bad, but i was really thinking she would have just came if she wanted too, it was a come-all party and she knew most of the people there probably better then i do. Anyways, my question now is how should i let her know im interested? There isnt many options if i ask her "out" but i could ask her if shes interested in the idea of us seeing eachother kind of thing, i was hoping to just escalate kino until a k-close first chance i get were at a good environment for it,but yeah since you said i should let her know im into her i really dont know how i should go about this.

Alright, theres a party this friday i was thinking maybe saying "what are you doing this weekend" Hb:" blah blah" then 'so and so is having a party friday, your coming." Is this along the lines of what you were saying would be good LA? Or should i just straight up tell her im interested in her (im still not too sure how i should do this, it just feels so afc but then again what i have been doing so far hasnt lead to any kissing so who knows)

"so and so is having a party this weekend"
hb:"blather blather"


"there are going to be a lot of people there I don't know; I could use an accomplice....What do you say Mary Jane (or Wonder woman...whatever) big night out?"

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