I've been seeing this girl for a few months and we are exclusive. There have been ups and downs like most relationships but we are beginning to get more comfortable with each other. Lately I have noticed a subtle change in her behaviour and I'm wondering what you guys think!

The last two weeks there has been a considerable drop off in communication from her. Her replies used to be instant but now it's every few hours at best. However within the last fortnight we have been meeting up a few times a week and having the best time (and sex) ever! She is actually less busy at the moment so I know that's not the problem plus when she is with me she will reply to other texts very quickly.

My own judgement comes up with three possible conclusions:

1) she is just very comfortable now therefore doesn't feel the need to contact me as much.

2) she is getting bored

3) she is doing it on purpose to keep me interested



Small background...previously to the last couple of weeks she was texting non stop. It's was actually beginning to do my head in. I began to very slightly wait longer to reply as I was finding it a bit too much. However I now have the impression that I may of slightly pushed her away....just a possibility? But as I said earlier when we meet up in person it's fantastic!

I'm meeting her tonight after another day of very little texting! I sent her a text earlier and she replied with a text that wasn't meant for me, then quickly said "oops wrong person" a minute later! I replied saying "no problem hun"! Haven't heard from her since and she never actually responded to my text question!!

This kinda did my head in as she is obviously texting away to her best mate but not me!


Need some feedback guys and how should I proceed with this without looking needy?? I don't want her contacting me all day but a bit more would be nice considering she is like addicted to her phone.

Less communication is always the result of lowered interest level. Focus on interest level. Focus on interest level. Focus on interest level. Eat it. Don't think about anything else. How comfortable she is has nothing to do with anything. A girl that wants to text you -- will text you. There are a couple of things you need to remember in regards to maintaining high interest level:

(a) Competitive anxiety- the most fundamental pillar of attraction in a relationship. If ever your girlfriend adopts the mentality that she is the only source of intimacy you have access to or desire, a huge lack of physical desire and attention will ensue. Both people in a relationship should, at all times, feel the constant pressure of a competitive sexual market. If you’re a guy, you already know how competitive anxiety drives people crazy. Men in relationships face the trivialities of competition much more often that girls (even semi good looking girlfriends will get hit on more often by other guys than the crème de la crop of boyfriends). Keep in mind that competitive anxiety should never be induced overtly.

(b) Stability fucks things up- Women desire financial stability, familial stability, and academic stability among other things, but NOT sexual / emotional stability. They do NOT want to know exactly what time you’re going to call them every day, where you guys are going to eat every Sunday, or how all of your anniversary’s are going to be spent. Despite your girlfriend’s incessant nagging about maintaining routines, women ABHOR predictability. If your relationship occasionally catches on fire from emotional turmoil, let it burn in passion.

(c) Never NEED attention: Never, ever, complain about wanting more affection. Attempt to communicate less than she does. For every 3 texts that you get, send 2. For ever 5 dates that she plans, plan 3. Your laconic ways will unconsciously reinforce your dominance, higher social value, and help maintain a frame of challenge.

(d) The “reverse” method never works- AFCs often try and take the opposite approach; they bombard their girlfriends with attention, gifts, and unyielding loyalty hoping that she may reciprocate the emotional back rubbing. This never, ever, ever works in their favor. Many aspects of relationships are counter-intuitive.

Be less available, make her jealous, work on yourself, have OTHER options. Don't let a girl pull the rug from under you. Too often a guy gets involved with a girl and then focuses on her with laser precision. Even if you're not overtly communicating your desperation, it will leak from your persona

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My Blog: www.solvemygirlproblems.com

Also want to add; don't fall for the post-honeymoon bluff. To elaborate:

The beginning of any hook-up phase is filled with elated amounts of attraction, but this always declines. It's just a matter of being human, we get desensitized to the things we're exposed to.

hence after this period, a guy will sometimes lose his cool because the excessive amounts of sex / attention he was getting slowly deteriorates. As a result, he does the OPPOSITE of what he should do to regain attraction - he tries to PULL THE GIRL MORE towards him when really, he should be LESS available.

The same thing happens to a girl when she's dating an Alpha or someone she perceives to be a much better catch than she would've normally hoped. Girls-in-love-with-Alphas and betas typically display the same qualities.

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My Blog: www.solvemygirlproblems.com

Very good posts by Hakuna

It boils down to the fact that you should always keep in mind that "less is more".

Girls LOVE competition. Let them work (a bit) to be your girlfriend.

For every relationship that gets broken off because the guy was to UNAVAILABLE, there are 10 that got broken off from TOO MUCH availability. The key is, and has always been, balance.

the "no games" part isn't true - EVERY RELATIONSHIP whether romantic, plutonic, or business has "games" involved; in the sense that social dynamics is ubiquitous. If you think your girlfriend doesn't shit test you then you're intentionally blinding yourself to it.

What's more likely is that you're doing everything right intuitively, which is a good thing. If you're building a successful relationship without "using PUA tactics" it just means you have a good amount of natural game.

With that being said, you should still avoid the common traps of a stable relationship i e; Oneitis, psychological dependency, or beta backsliding. You HAVE to remember that a girl can fall OUT OF LOVE just as easily as she can fall IN LOVE.

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My Blog: www.solvemygirlproblems.com