Two weeks ago i checked out internet-dating. I had never done that before but I thought it could be some fun. I have never dated through this kind of forums before and I have never gone on a “blind date”. After a couple of hours of membership a girl contacted me. We spoke for about ten days and sent around two E-mails a day. She was very fast to replay and wrote rather extensively. Apparently we have a lot in common.

We went to the same university, we studied similar subjects, has similar interests, our families and history in pretty similar and so on. This girl actually fit me pretty well. There are some signs I do not like when it comes to her, but in general she is a “good match”. She has some issues (and I do not date girls with any issue anymore) but nothing that is not just shallow things. After a while I implied (in a general meaning) that we should go out together.

She said that she would like that and gave me her phone-number even though I did not ask for it. She sent the first text message this Friday and the same evening we decided that we should see each other on Sunday. She was rather eager to see me, likely more than me. She lives an hour or so from my city and we agreed that we should meet in my city for a walk and a cup of coffee. We have a lot in common and we have very similar personalities. What I did recall from our previous conversations over the internet was that she has only given me compliments three times. Once about my looks, once about me being intellectually and socially challenging and once about what I do.

The date was very smooth. She discovered me first and hugged me, but not in a very romantically way. Everything during the date was very and I mean very smooth. But there was a distance. When we hugged the good bye, it was still not very romantically. She holds her distance. An hour or so later I sent a text message where I told her that it was a nice date that she is much sweeter in real life and things like that. She told me that she feel the same. I asked her then if I’m going to her again and she respond shortly, that she will see me again. Yesterday (the day after the date) I texted her a joke implying her interest in aerobics. She responded and we texted for a while before bed.

In the beginning she tried to challenge me, but soon it went into more deep and seriousness because of her. She implied with (metaphors) that casual sex was not her thing. I think she is a bit conservative. For example, we do not talk about sex and things like that. In the end I wrote a more “romantic” thing about her implying her personality and that was a reason I wanted to see her again. She responded today (likely the first thing she did in the morning) with a very lengthy answer about how glad she was that I noticed it and that I felt that she had this impact on people (me). Sadly, she just ended her text message it with “Have a nice day” with some silly smiley after it. There was nothing about seeing each other again. I answered her text with a more fun and reflecting answer. I did not see it fit to answer it lengthy.

She of course answered this evening and tried to be "fun" back. A short text-message conversation took place and I implied that we should have this "Friday chill out moment" soon (which she liked). She responded "It should be Friday every week", which is an answer of avoidance. I responded jokingly "Am i so charming". And I think that is it. I know she is pretty smart (her way of reasoning is very similar to mine) and I have been in the friend zone twice before so I can smell it coming. The first time was almost ten years ago, when I was in High School and fell in love with a "friend". Secondly, I fell in friends zone in the beginning of this year with some Albanian girl. That was my mistake of not knowing what I would do with her the beginning.

Most of the time I just go "straight" on (getting laid right away through a one night stand) and after that I date if it worth it. I seldom "date" in this "American" way of getting a number and then go out on a couple of dates. It have only been working for me twice. Now, I think I have marked clearly that I have a sexual intrest in this "internet-girl"and that Im not her buddy. She cannot contact me without showing intrest in me as a guy (not her friend). I do not need more female friends. I have already a bunch of them and girls I "date" or sleep with I do not "hang out" with as a friends.

Sure, I could keep this running but it if I continued I would end up in the Friends zone. Im sure of it. She did not answer the last one (normally she would answer right away and keeping up the conversation) since an hour or something, so I know that I put her out there. I think she knows that if she keeps up the conversation she need to step into the "love game" or drop me.

Or what do you think?

What do you expect exactly? That she's gonna make moves towards you? That's not going to happen. Possibly she's given you all kinds of signals that you missed.

Unless you're already in the friend zone you have to get a move on with this yourself and take some action.

She has not given me any signals of interest other then she told me after the date that she wanted to see me again and that she thought I was better in real life and that she likes our similarities but likes our differences even more and that she find me thrilling. I think that is very explicit. Remember that she picked up me on a dating site.

We have just met once for less than three hours and we have never spoken in the phone. She has to know that I like her (not as her friend). I think I made it very clear two hours ago when I implied that we should have this “chill Friday” (or what she calls it). She told me that “She wished it was Friday everyday” and answered: Yeah, Am I so charming.

That is where we are. If I look to the first date, there were a lot of smiles and stuff like that, but no physical contact. Only two hugs. I hate going out on dates where alcohol is not involved or in a place where it is difficult to be in situation you can make a physical move and stuff like that. She also, when, we departed from each other said yes to see me again. So she has in fact told me twice that she wants to see me again. That was the reason why I contacted her on Monday.

I actually expect that she makes moves towards me. The reason why lifted this “Friday” stuff out was that I wanted to see her reaction and what I saw was that she avoided it. A better answer from her would be a “Yes” sometimes or something like that. That was what I wanted to hear but instead she avoided it. Also, I wanted to make it clear (very clear) that I’m not going to be her friend. I think it went pretty much through her now. I did so, so I would, with no doubt, end up in the friend zone. She may want to take it “slow” and go on a second date and stuff like that.

Sure, I’m up for it, but I’m only up for it if it going in a romantically direction and that is why I made it “clear” by asking this. I have been in the friend zone twice and I’m not going to end up in that zone with her or any other woman.

So if she “contact” me, which is she may or may not do, it going to be for a romantically relationship. She has these options: Not to contact me anymore, say yes to have this Friday with means dinner and sex or contact me for a second date. I cannot contact her because I put myself out by saying “We should have this chill out Friday soon, to lower some stress” and she, by her answer rejected or avoided it saying: I wished it was Friday every day. Wtf, that is called avoidance in English.

I could (if I wanted to) continue to just flirt, talk and stuff like that, but that would put me straight into the friends zone. I do not want to go for a "second date" or continue talking to her, if I end up in the friends zone. So I did what I did. Showing the current history I think it was a great idea and time to do it and as soon as possible. Sure, this may mean that she rejects me, but I think she will contact me in a week or so.