I had one itis over her, but she left on a trip and I was able to recover. However, our relationship doesn't really have any closure. We'll be at the same bar this weekend and I know she hasn't got the guts to start talking to me.

My hangup is that I don't want to just let her off the hook for ditching me at the end of our relationship. She should fess explain and explain her actions (long story short she just ignored me for what seems like no reason, but still told me she liked me).

How do I start interaction and talk about our feelings without sounding or looking like a needy bitch?

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First off, i can almost 99% garentee that whatever she says will not make what she did seem right. So why bother trying to get "her side' of the story.

What i would do, is open other sets and display DHV and social proof. Ignore her for a bit, then maybe walk by her and toss her a smirk or something. Try and work a neg in like, "O i see your still not talking to me, thats cool." and just walk off to your next set.

Unless she comes to you with an explaination and an apology i wouldnt give her the time of day.

Be the most social, fun, intresting guy that night with everyone else. Be the center of attention and if she comes to you make sure to neg her a bit, act unintrested. If she does something good like throw you strong IOI's or passes big compliance tests, then neg her by telling her it wont let her off the hook for ditching you/ignoreing you, but its a step in the right direction.

Otherwise man i would just have a blast an ignore her. Hope this helps

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-Ka-
"Be the same, only better."

KA is right man...


what she says wont give you closure it will give you more questions...


its just goes with oneitis... and the fact that you want to know why she flaked sends red flags everywhere for me... You need to ignore her man, or if you cant ignore her PLEASE do not bring up feelings or how things ended. This is what she is expecting and doing this is only going to push her further away and make you look desperate. I know you are not desperate, you know you are not desperate... no let her see what she is missing my man... Just go about your business and use your skills to get a few girls... then just say make small talk with her.... but DO NOT BRING UP FEELINGS OR ASK Y SHE FLAKED

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SHURGS




add me on myspace www.myspace.com/jshurgs

big day is tomorrow, i'll update with what happened. My weakness is im tempted to give her the benefit of anydoubt

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A good friend of mine (a very successful lawyer) says, and i quote...

"If you assume that everyone is a lier, a thief, and a crook, you will be right more often then not."

Do not give ANYONE, any benifit-of-the-doubt. Assume they are trying to fuck you, and deal with it in a alpha way.

Im telling you right now, this girl will be WAY more attracted to you if you ignore her or brush her off as unimportant then if you go all cheesy and old timey with her. Im not saying this to hurt feeling but to be real with you...there is NO way she liked the old you more then she will like the NEW you. By treating her like an obnoxious little sister who you dont really want around you will get what you want.

If it doesnt work or you cant do it to her, then bang 12 other chicks to get over your one itis. Hope this helps, GL.

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-Ka-
"Be the same, only better."

There is a girl that I had huge one-itis over, I still think I want to marry her some day; but, I have hardly talked to her the entire semester. I am not ready and neither is she. Eye, If you let this girl see that you are desireable, she might pursue you. Keep working game and feigning lack of interest and see how much, or if, she is still interested in you. Good luck.

I agree with the guy who said whatever she says it will never bring u closure. I had a 4 year relationship with a girl (before i was in the community) and it ended up with her cheating on me. I still talk to her a couple of time a week and the other night she tried to tell me that i still wanted her (which i kind of do) because she was pretty . . .my reply was "Yea ur pretty . . pretty ugly now ur friend jess have her call me she has a personality" this girl now knows that if she wants me back she will have to work for it, plus i gamed her friend which is awesome. . . thats how u have to play it like everyone else said on here do not talk to her and just be as social as possible women get jealous (easily) and if she doesn't guess what? u owned 10 other sets with beautiful women in them, screw the other girl she isn't worth it

Muse, I negged a girl yesterday because she went to an away football game instead of going out w/ me, well, I suppose she made plans to go to the game before I asked her. What do you think of my decision? She said she was sorry, which was more sincere than I was anticipating. I figured she would shit test me and it caught me off guard. Could sorry be a shit test? You could try and test how sincere she actually was, but you would not want to insult her. How to respond to an "I'm sorry"?

Sorry for the last post, I guess I thought this I was on another thread.

Just an rAFC here but since I'm also recovering from one-itis I figured I'd join in. The stuff I'm reading here are mostly tips that work to get her back. The big question however should not be 'How do I impress her' since that basicly means you want her back. You're well on your way to seeing other girls. In some cases: better girls. The big question, at least to me is: 'How do I get closure? How do I use this occasion to further my recovery?'


Fact is that she messed with you, and probably hurt you bad. Keep reminding yourself of that very fact. Will any future with that girl be different? Has she really changed her ways? Do you really want to win her over? Aren't there girls out there that wouldn't make you go through all that shit?

Personally I wouldn't really go out and about to prove your own worth when you know the girl is trouble. If it's closure you want then ask her what you need to know, be confident about it and walk away and try to have fun. Don't make her the focal point of your entire night out. If you have questions for her, then go ask them but don't expect to hear any answers that will make you feel better about the situation.

Fact is: live goes on. Eventually it will, but you're the only one that can make that happen. Don't go out your way and game her just to get back at her. Let it go, and move on. There are more important things in live then old griefs.