Hello guys,

Time for....

a...

LR.


Meh... To be honest, I'm not even sure why I am actually writing this. It's lame and useless information. But still, maybe it'll actually help some kids somehow... I don't know... Fuck! Quit judging me!

Anyways...

Last night, went to university residence to see a friend of mine. I must say I drank a little bit too much and did a ton of stupid shit during that night. I was really horny so I think I flirted with every single girl I saw. Did not remember a single name... But still managed to remember one girl's room number! Yippy! I was the first impressed by the fact that I actually found my way through her room.

Ever heard of the perfect game? The perfect sex? How to give the girl the time of her life? Make her feel like she's unique in this world? Perfect pick up?

Well,

That's not me... hahah!

I opened her door, smiled at her, removed my pants and shirt, and jumped in her bed. Like a damn kid. I think she realized what I was doing, and she followed me in her bed. Surprising...

Moral of the story, kids: Do not drink too much.

I was not even fully hard. I was laughing the whole time about my horrible performance! Still, I think the girl enjoyed her time because I was not taking it seriously!

When I realized I could never ejaculate, I abandoned my mission and just passed out in her bed. What a selfish prick?! Indeed.

Still, she gave me a good BJ and I managed to get out of her room so i wouldn't have to deal with her the next morning. Fun fact? I did forget my clothes and wallet in her room like a dumb kid so I had to find her room the next morning and ask for my stuff! So yeah, if you guys we're wondering who was the drunk kid walking around university butt naked at 4 AM, it was me.

-MrMatt

_________________
Dear Optimist, Pessimist & Realist,

Just to let you know that while you guys were arguing about the glass of water...... I drank it!

Sincerely, the Opportunist