So do you recommend I back off for a while and not contact her? I mean, this girl really has a busy life and she is a social butterfly. She really is busy. I believe that we make time for things we want in life though; she has not reciprocated my enthusiasm since our last date. Although she kissed me (more like a make out session) followed by a "Hope to see you again" text. So it's not like I am chasing someone who doesn't reciprocate at all. I just feel like I need to bring up her interest level so that it is closer to 50/50 vs the current 80/20.


What has the best chance of working: Option A) Back off for two weeks and see how she reacts; Option B) Send her a text next week and leaving keeping the date, time and activity open-ended? If she bails, just ask her directly?

For instance:
Hey name! Would you like to hang out sometime this week? Maybe we can go to the movies or I can cook for you. I am a great cook you know. haha What do you say?"

The only reason why I am including the option of cooking for her is because that is one of the things we have in common.

Based on your experience, what would you prefer? Option A or B?

Style,

Heres the scoop. A lot of these guys have the right idea and have given great advice! I had a day2 with a girl... didnt close anything... and now when i try to call her she wont respond...(she would call me/text me non-stop weeks previous and now she wont respond to anything... she told me to bring condoms on our day 2 ect...ect...but i just didnt pullthe trigger. i blew myself out). So this chick obv likes your attention... and she likes the fact that u like her... but she doesnt wanna do anything bc ur not a BAD BOY or Enough of one to plow here in bed and sexually turn her on (im in the same boat bro... a lot of us are... but here is what u can do to work on it).

go out and meet TONS of women....and dont respond to this1... play her like shes playing you... be short w texts if she texts u.... be 2 busy... this will make her CHASE you.... instead of you chasing her. then the next time u see her and start making out ext... BE DOMINATE. dirty talk the shit out of her and go for the HOME RUN. Deal with the LMR..... and then bang her..... once thats happened play it off like it was not a big deal.... sex is just sex.... she will want you more then EVER if u do this.

GL sir... but dont trip... shes just one girl.... build a roster and have options.

Duke

Duke strikes some pretty good points, if you do want this girl the SAFEST route is to just leave her as it is than to ruin everything. If you send her a text and your faced with having to be direct, you'll find out the hard way she doesn't want you then your not going to get her at all. If you back off for two weeks, you need to be talking to other women and continuing with your life. I shouldn't be able to come to your house and see you counting down those two weeks on a calender. If you do what Duke says a lot of the times she will just fall back onto your lap and when she does you have to dominate her (just as duke says). Like you said, she's a social butterfly, that chick is not afraid to express her sexuality since she was jumping on you like a howling hyena. I'm sure she expected you to initiate more than just kissing (it could be her way to weed out the losers if you don't) so just next time pull the trigger and show her what it's like to be with TOO much man.

Thanks everybody for replying. I am going to give her space and hopefully she texts me sometime. I just feel really down right now - I was really starting to like this girl, and she is cute as a button as well. She was the first girl to show interest in me since I split with my long-term girlfriend.

I just feel really rejected - she showed interest in me, and now it is like I am non existent to her. I think I am suffering from a serious case of one-itis. But that is only because I like her.

I have to give her some space; I already asked her out three times and she rejected me each time! If I ask her again, I will come across as a total chump with no self-respect.

This really sucks! And I know that the remedy is to go out and find another girl. There are millions of super cool chicks, but there has to be a connection as well. I don't just want some fling, some meaningless one night stand. They can be fun, but I want a girlfriend, something meaningful. And I suppose I expected too much, too soon. It was inevitable that this would happen, though. I have received mixed signals from her since the first time we met. She even canceled out first date twice. lol


Sorry for venting guys! Thanks for all of your advice. Very nice of you.


Cheers!

To identify your problem even more, it is referred to as "I got her, I had her, now I want her back syndrome". It's something a lot of guys suffer from (myself included) so I understand your situation, especially in cases with girls who send you mixed messages. It makes you replay the interaction constantly to find out where you went wrong and in the process you only focus on her good qualities. This strengthens your attraction for her and leads you to chase her even more. When you catch yourself doing that, try to be fair to yourself and pay attention to her flaws as well. She's not perfect, you only deceive yourself when you do that. I'm glad you made the right decision and identified your circumstance to what it really is. A lot of guys are in denial and disregard what others tell them even though they're the ones asking for help. You will find this much more satisfying. Good luck on your future endeavors!

Oneitis is the worst, but you will like the next girl as much as the last 'one'.

Now I regret sending her a ringtone on Facebook of her favorite band, sending her pictures of my kitten, and asking her out three times (I was just trying to be cute and show her that I liked her). Honesty, I just thought she was into me since she kissed me and sent me a text last time we saw each other saying, "see you this week, I hope." That was on our sixth date. But asking her out three times only to receive petty excuses, i.e., I am going out of town, I am running errands, taking forever to respond to me, and/or sometimes not responding to my messages at all are pretty clear signs that I am not a priority in her life and her interest in me has decreased. So I am just going to back off completely, and allow her to contact me if she is still interested. I am not setting a time limit; if she still wants to date me, I have given her enough opportunity to contact me/ask me out.


Three things that are possibly going on: 1) She is very busy and did, in fact, go out of town (I don't buy into this one though, for we make time for the things we like/want in life; 2) She met someone else, which is why she has barely been responding to my texts (out of the three options, this is the most likely scenario out of the three options) She even told me last time we were together that she would "make time to see me again"; 3) She is flat out not interested in seeing me again, which is why she hasn't contacted me in a while. She just barely responds with a text and a smiley to be polite.

I am getting a feeling of distaste when thinking back at how I chased her over the last two weeks. I should have just stopped after the second consecutive time of asking her out. Maybe I will hear from her again, although I am not betting on it. I have a bad feeling about this one. Oh, well, we live and we learn, right?


From past experience, will distancing myself make her contact me again?

Thanks guys. Very kind of you to help out. I just needed an outside perspective on the situation.

I like your attitude man, every guy goes through this, it's the way you handle it that sets you apart from the other man.

Honestly, distancing yourself from her is your best chance of getting her to contact you again. Most likely she will but it's not for certain.

I used to talk to this very introvert girl who barely responded to my texts and didn't give me any attention. I wasn't sure if she wanted me or not... so i accepted it and stopped initiating until she did. About a week later, she calls me has the most awkward phone call with me because she was trying to hang out with me but didn't know how to go about it. I made it easier on her and said I would come to her place. Then I thought, if she wants to see me, she comes to my fucking place. I told her I'd call her when I was ready for her to come over and she complied. Now she's on my dills, still doesn't reciprocate as much as I'd like but now I know it's just her personality.

The only reason she took initiative and called me was because she saw me talking to other women. One time I was walking with 2 girls and we we're having a blast. She walked by with some lame dude and I thought I saw her but wasn't sure. She texted me later that day asking me why I ignored her and I just ignored her text. When I saw her I acted as though everything was normal.

Keep going bro, the more experience you get (especially the really shitty ones) you become a better PUA. I dive into anything even when I know it's going to be very painful but it's part of learning. Once you go through it once, you will be able to recognize and control the situation.

Hey! Thanks Netsky! I still haven't contacted her, and I just feel like she should pursue me now. lol I appreciate your advice:)

Update: She finally texted me yesterday (4 days later) in response to a pic of my kitten I sent her:

Her: I see the mouse!!! My cat is cuter than your cat though!!!
Me: Oh yeah? My kitten is up for a challenge on kittenwar.com. lol
Her: Okay but mine isn't a kitten!!! It's a cat!!!
Me: Ehh Excuses excuses. lol Kittenwar.com will allow a pic of your cat as a kitten!!

BAM - NO RESPONSE.


How do I deal with a girl who is toying with me like this?

How fast did you reply?

I waited an hour to respond to the first message and 15 minutes to the second. If there was no interest at all she would not have sent me the text unless she did it to be polite! I just feel anxious about asking her out this week, for she has already turned me down three times!

I was thinking about waiting till next weekend and see how she reacts. She may be expecting me to ask her out for this weekend, so it may be a good idea to surprise her and get her thinking "why hasn't he asked me out?"
In economics, what makes value increase? Scarcity! So it may be a good idea to just distance myself and allow her to come to me!

She is totally toying with me! But I like her, and would like to at least be intimate with her!

Any advice?

Sorry to tell you this my friend but you need to learn some lessons on how to escalate. Escalation means even having deep eye contact with your target.. escalation can be done EVERYWHERE. Not talking is a sexual escalation trait. Not talking, long pauses, eye contact - one of the most crucial elements when you escalate. You can do that everywhere... also touching with your hands.. you can do that even if you talk standing.. it can be done everywhere. Your problem is you dont know how to escalate.. you should've fuck closed the shit out of her. Render things awkward.. the most awkardness that exists between you = sexual tension = escalation. You waited too long.. much too long bro... and you know what's the worst? You're running after her like a fucking puppy dog.. wtf? Why do you text her 3 texts in 3 different days man?! You're the prize dont forget. You did a HUGE mistake by texting her all the time hey I want to see you. hey when can i see you? That comes off as needy and neediness closes the doors to any pussy my friend. Dont be needy, escalate sexually and be preselected and maybe next time you'll fuck close your target

_________________
Greatness is never borned

I think you should've stalled on the text message for about a day at the least then you respond with little enthusiasm. The way you went about it, it was like, "OH shit, she texted me!". Then you thought you could reignite her attraction for you by responding the way you did. She could have just texted you to see if you would still succumb to her petty attempts of giving you attention and you responded alert and attentive as ever. I would have made the same mistake at your position because it's hard to recognize since your blinded by trying to get her back. You should have stayed strong and true to your goal (go cold on her and let her show consistent responses). Your in an awkward position now, she didn't text you back and your trying to ask her out again. First before you can even ask to see her you have to give her a reason to want to. Randomly sending her a text message wouldn't do the job.

Try to call her and gain some interest by displaying the qualities you were able to portray the first night of meeting her. IF you did a good job at getting her attention you should not get flaked on. Then set up a day good for the both of you to go see each other. Tell her the logistics and then propose a couple of days (since she's a busy person) for this shit to happen. If she can't make any of the days then tell her she's responsible for setting something up and you will let her know if you can make it.

If she doesn't set up a day for you two meet each other then you're gonna have to say fuck this chick and move on with your life. Make sure also while your in intermission of setting the day up and the actual day your going out talking to other women. So your not left with waiting for her and you can continue with your life as a grown ass man (how scary that sounds...).

So you guys are never going to believe this one. She contacted me with a business proposal last night, to which I responded this morning. We met up for coffee at a cafe and discussed the opportunity. I am going to be working on a project with her this weekend and earning a lot of cash.

This evening when we met up, she ran into a friend of hers, and she introduced me as her "friend." When we said good night, she hugged me good night. I didn't wanna make it weird since we are going to be working together on saturday and sunday, so i left it at that. But I am going to have to assert myself next time we see each other.


I am so afraid of getting friend zoned. And now I am starting to fall in love with her.

Man, I couldn't even come up with this stuff if I was a best selling fiction writer. LOL


Please, all of you; advice is needed desperately. What should I do? Kiss her next time I see her? Hopefully we will be working together at her house. Thanks guys!