Undestroyable Anxiety



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PostPosted: Fri Oct 21, 2011 2:26 am 
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Quote:
I have a BIIG PROBLEM
I just can start approaching ;(
Help ---> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b0ohkan_wpU

Make sure you take notes and read them A LOT

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 Post subject: dsd
PostPosted: Fri Oct 28, 2011 7:17 am 
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Thank ya guys
One more question how to get in the mood to pick up I mean its not that easy to do it ;)


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 Post subject: Re: dsd
PostPosted: Fri Oct 28, 2011 1:51 pm 
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[quote="AFCPG"]Thank ya guys
One more question how to get in the mood to pick up I mean its not that easy to do it ;)[/quote]

I hear these questions so often at so many fora. Every time I read it, I can only think about it is a useless question. If you like going out and having conversations with women, why on earth would you need to get in the mood ? You get in the mood by going out and doing what you like, which is approach women. You get in the mood by going out to a bar or party. You might not be in the mood before you get there, but once you are there you will get in the mood automatically.

As for your approach problem ... Never try to make too big steps. Never do something that makes you extremely nervous. Always try to make small steps that make you a little bit nervous. Only when this action becomes into your comfort zone, you take other actions that make you a little nervous again. I would define it as an AA-ladder:

1. Making eye contact.
2. Making eye contact and say "Hi".
3. Ask for directions
...

You start with 1. Once you feel comfortable doing this, you start with 2. If you are comfortable with 2, you start with 3. And so on ...

And the most important of ALL: NEVER have doubts about yourself !!! No matter what response you might get when you these actions, make sure it never hurts your confidence. Everyone gets bad reactions. I once went out with a guy that won the mister Belgium contest. I saw him going up to a girl and she simply rejected him. So he said to her: "Ey, you have any idea who I am ? I am mister Belgium". The girl replied: "So ? Who cares ?". Just to give you an idea that it doesn't matter who you are, you will always experience rejections. But as long as you realize that these rejections say nothing about you as a person, you are on the right track.


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PostPosted: Sat Nov 05, 2011 11:30 pm 
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I disagree with the maturity thing, I'm 17 too, and I'm pretty sure anyone with enough determination can achieve whatever he wants, no matter of the age.

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PostPosted: Sun Nov 06, 2011 9:10 am 
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Location: Johannesburg, South Africa
Quote:
if your over 21, some alcohol would help
Alcohol is never a good idea when going in with the
intention of running game on a girl because that's
when things can get sloppy, even more so it's
even harder to calibrate yourself in those
current surroundings... Even though it
does make you feel more relaxed
I wouldn't recommend it.

AFCPG listen to me man. I'm 21 years old, I've never
had GF, I barely have any friends too, I've never
been kissed, also I'm not the greatest looking
guy in the world and I'm still a virgin...plus,
I also have AA. But
you know what? None of that shit
bothers me man, cause I made
a huge fucking strong conscious
decision a long time ago that
no matter what happens
and no matter how
hopeless things seem
I told myself that I'm never going to give
up. I'll tell you something now, looks and age
don't matter, it's how confident you are in yourself
and you present yourself when you get out there is what
matters.

As soon as you think about what people think about you,
you already lose. The trick is not give a shit about what
people think about you. Those "friends" of yours...they
probably aren't. I've been there where (when I was
still in school) I would hang with a
group of people at lunchtime
but when the weekend came
they would never invite me
anywhere. Don't spend
your time chasing after people
who won't show that same respect
towards you, it's not worth it.

Go out and make new friends...

As far as AA goes, I know how shit it feels for
a girl to be judging you in your mind, like,
what will she think about this or that, will
she reject me...what should i say?! As soon
as you start thinking about any of that you start fucking up
and that's where so many people go wrong. There is no
"mood" to get into when approaching. Sure you can
get yourself pumped up or excited about going
sarging but that "mood" is a subconcious
negative mindset which is holding you
back. You want to create or get into
a mindset or space you find most
comfortable and when you finally
get into that space you feel great,
but I reckon that won't help how you perform. The
whole point of getting over an anxiety no matter what
shape or form it comes in is to put yourself in that uncomfortable
situation OVER and OVER and OVER again until that fucking anxiety
becomes nothing to you...

If you do however want to get into a good head space, not
necessarily the "mood" acknowledge that distinction there
is a difference, before you go out, listen to 5 great songs
from your own personal playlist
which make you feel good and happy. Then, after you
approach and eject, listen to one of those songs which
makes you happy and then every time you hear
that song you will relate it to that approach
and those good feeling will subconsciously
be associated to how nice it felt approaching! It does
work. For example, when I started out I chose a song
called 'I'm Still Here - Goo Goo Dolls' and after
my first approach I instantly listened to that
song and I felt so damn happy and now
whenever I hear that song I associate
that approach with it and it gets me
in...the mood :)

If you want to see how easy approaching is, just by
using a simple opener goto my livechai blog link
at the bottom and see my approach. Opening
is not as scary as you think ;)

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PostPosted: Sun Nov 06, 2011 10:19 am 
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if it's all about status, stop reading dating material and start reading material about social navigation. "How to win friends and influence people" is a wonderful place to start. I think it should be recommended reading from every "GURU" in the world.

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PostPosted: Wed Nov 23, 2011 11:08 am 
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Location: SOUTH AFRICA
i actually felt sick from my anxiety a long time ago it was bad every time i worried i felt sick then i tried CBT and it went away.

1 you write down all bad experieces in your life from earliest to latest

2 when you write what happend make it as clear as possible, put all those shit feelings into your writing, the more shit feelings you put in the better.

3 write down along with your feelings what you were thinking when the situation happend

4 then skip a line after you finished and write down your beliefs about the situation until you feel satisfied and settled

5 you can thank me because you dont have see a a therapist and waste money


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PostPosted: Fri Nov 25, 2011 5:28 am 
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Joined: Fri Nov 04, 2011 4:38 pm
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Quote:
Hi There
I have a BIIG PROBLEM
I just can start approaching ;(
I've tried everything and all the results are the same... just cant start ;(
the best pick up line in the world is "hey"


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PostPosted: Sat Nov 26, 2011 7:50 pm 
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Location: Netherlands
how much caffeine do you drink ?

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questions about herbal medicine here-vp582526.html#582526


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PostPosted: Mon Nov 28, 2011 4:52 am 
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I was an impossible case. Couldn't even be in the vicinity of a mildly attractive girl without heart pounding paralyzing discomfort anxiety. I would run away and hide.

So here's the question, that helped me... What COULD you confront, out of your comfort zone? (in terms of women) It HAS to be out of your comfort zone though! A cute cashire at a grocery store? Can you buy a yogurt from a cute cashire girl? No conversation, just a cash product exchange. Would that make you nervous? Can you do that? Then do that!!! over and over and over and over again every day, until you can buy a yogourt from the hottest cashirer in the world no problem.

After that, confront whatever the next difficult thing is that you COULD confront which makes you nervous, and do it over and over and over and over again til you can do that no problem.

Maybe you're starting more advanced than I started, and you don't need to do the cashire thing. Try appoaching an old fat lady who seems friendly, approach a pregnent woman. just get the ball rolling, then approach girls your age who you have no sexual interest in, then approach girls you would consider "dateable" but not necisarily "hot" and so on and so on. Approach and confront what you CAN in progressive stages... is the secret!


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