So my girlfriend told me she was a virgin when I met her. And I believed her.

Her last relationship was 3 yrs 9 months (the last 1.5yrs of which was long distance)

I couldnt quite comprehend how this ex of hers lasted so long without sex. I was guessing he was likely cheating on her.

Anwyays, my gf and I had sex for the first time a few weeks ago. It was what you would expect for a girl whose never had sex before. Pretty horrible and not enjoyable. However she didnt bleed.

The next week, we had sex again, and this time I ravished her. When I came to do doggy style, she stopped me. So we stopped and I said whats wrong. She told me it was hurting her because it was only the 2nd time we had done it. I said ok.

Then she dropped this bomb "yea because my ex used to put it in my ass and that position reminded me of it."

I couldnt believe my ears... Needless to say, I snapped and almost broke up with her right then and there.

I felt deceived. She then told me she thought she had told me about it. She played stupid about it. To me tho it was kind of a big deal because to me shes not a virgin. Anal sex or vaginal sex, same shit, she got penetrated. But its not like Im so upset about her not being a virgin. I dont give a shit about that. Im more pissed that she didnt tell me. ANNDDD now im even MORE pissed beacuse I love anal and was hoping she woudl like it but shes had bad experiences with it.

She told me she didnt like it and that it hurt and she just did it to please him and that he wuodlnt have vaginal sex because he didnt wanna "ruin her life" by fucking her vaginally. He was basically telling her straight up that he had no intentions of staying with her forever so he just wanted to fuck her ass.

Sometimes I cant believe im dating such a previously abused woman.

Anyways, a couple weeks have passed and Ive been the bigger man about the whole thing. But I just dont know how to take it still. I had this image of her which is now all different. I feel deceived about the whole thing.

thoughts??

lmao!

haha, let it go!

who cares if she is a virgin?

she's obviously got some standards, because she didn't fuck you on the first date.

did you honestly believe she was with someone for over three years and didn't have sex?

i can't imagine ANYONE not having sex in such a long relationship.

unless a buddhist monk or something, lol.

either way, yah, dudes that do anal wrong ruin it for the rest of us.

my issue wouldn't be with the fact that she isn't a virgin.

my issue would be with three things:

1. the fact that she lied
2. the fact that she felt she needed to lie
3. the way in which she seemingly broke the news in an untactful fashion

either way, she has committed no capital offense.

i would just tell her openly that you like anal sex, that you know how to do it right, WITHOUT HURTING HER, and you would give her screaming and spraying orgasms if she ever let's you. but that you won't pressure her to do it.

also, find out why she lied about being a virgin.

how old is she?

how old are you?

do you have issues with girls that aren't virgins? could she have sensed it? is that maybe why she lied? because she thought you would look down on her?

the reason i ask is you said "such a previously abused woman" LOL

i don't care if my girlfriend has had anal sex, in fact, it's a turn-on, means she has a kinky side.

you know...most people DO fuck other people from time to time in life.

lighten up. don't let this ruin your relationship.

maybe you two can laugh it off together.

but make sure she stops the lying.

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what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

thx MAck.

yes those 3 points you listed are exactly why I am (or was) upset.

I couldnt care less if she was a virgin or not but because she presented herself as a virgin, explicitely telling me multiples times that she was a virgin, it was just a shock.

she then explained she doesnt see anal sex as losing her virginity.

anwyays she lied because in her culture the question of dating/marrying virgins is a huge deal.


you make good points and further convince me that i shouldnt feel bad about it or have any ill feelings about it. i should just let it go like you said.

Dude, if your GF took it up the ass, that says a lot about her character. This chick is dirty and fucked up in the head. I had a gf who's sister did the same thing... lost her virginity up the ass. She turned out to be one sick bitch.

I would dump her ASAP, or simply don't get attached and keep fucking that virgin pussy.

Ugh, disgusting.

This was my initial reaction. And this is what i mean by "previously abused woman'

because, she basically was willing to do anything for this ex of hers.

but, alot of girls would take it up the ass to please their bf. so i cant raelly fault her.

i dont know, i guess i have to just accept it or not and dump her

what? how old are you?

most women will take it up the ass at some point.

and more than half actively enjoy it...from time to time.

it says NOTHING about her character.

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what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

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what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

I have yet to meet a girl that won't take it up the ass when introduced to her in right way.

That being said. You're dating eighter a girl that knowingly decieved you or is plain retarded.

I'm not saying that you can't just get over it tho. It's not a huge thing. But you can't ignore the fact that she didn't tell you cuz' she knew that you won't like it. For me any "excuse" for a lie or omition is a deal breaker.

Dude, my ex took it up the ass, and she was an amazing girl. It says nothing about their character. Stop having these stupid preconceptions.

you guys just send all the girls who like it up the ass my way.

i'll deal with the little troublemakers.

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what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

lmaooo

@ OP: Your'e feeling pissed off because loyalty by far is the most important thing to a guy and while she may not have cheated, it fucked with your image of her because all guys tend to hold angelic preconceptions about their girlfriends.

You'll get over it; you broke up with her on impulse. That all-too-familiar chemical rush following jealousy or feeling cheated is a nuclear reaction everyone has felt at one point in their lives. In a way it's good that you broke up with her because it shows her you're not afraid to lose her.

Be ready to deal with stuff like this w/girls your entire life.

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My Blog: www.solvemygirlproblems.com

Let me add that MOST girls will lie to you about this. Whether it is about being a virgin, how many partners, whether they've had a threesome (or more-some), etc. One of the many reasons why you don't bring it up--besides the fact that it doesn't matter.

What should you do? If this is the only lie she has ever told you, shrug it off, and at the same time tell her you won't tolerate dishonesty. If it is part of a pattern, let her go.

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- Lux et Veritas -

Dude, what I mean is that a woman who takes it up the ass before she even takes it up her pussy is fucked up in the head... that's all. I have no problem with anal sex, nor with women who enjoy it. But if you take it up the ass before you have a vaginal intercourse, then your sex life will be ruined forever. That shit stays with you.

lol.

i see your point now.

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what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

Hmmm well its not like she chose one over the other. she wanted to have vaginal sex but this fucking ex of hers told her it would "ruin her life".

thats why i kinda have the feeling shes somewhat fucked up in the head but i guess shes in recovery mode with me now.

why will her sex life be ruined forever?