Here's the thing.
I dated my gf for 5 years, we had my son on the 3th year, I dumped her last december, lived a partyboy life until june, when I started going out with her again(But we didn't get back together), she wanted to get back together and officialize our relationship, I didn't want to, then on August she started do go unavailable, and said 'I dont know what I want anymore', so we got a little far from each other again, on october she said she wanted to get back together, but it was hard for her, because I broke up last year and hurt her a lot(maybe its just pride talking).
Now, she's been sleeping here for a month so far, (with my kid aswell), but we didn't get back together, because she is still 'thinking', yesterday we discussed our 'relationship' and I said I don't want an open relationship and wanted to officialize, she started crying saying 'you don't understand how hard it is 4me, I like you but my head is a mess'.

WHAT THE HECK should I do next, LAC?

you have to make sure you want it to be exclusive / official for a fullblown 100 % ..woman notice when you are talking crap or when you are not entirely sure. anyway this is going to be gay..i never tell guys to say this to woman.. but here is what i want you to say....

meet her in person... just talk a little bit... have fun..date .. do something romantic... and tell her :

Tell her that you feel stupid for breaking up with her in the first place... you have date multiple woman and it doesn't fullfill you...tell her she's the one.. tell her that you want her in your life.
just say this kind of chode shit.... you can even propose to her... i don't know about marriage lol but at least you will seem sincere. Again telling her this is really gay( i think) and it never works when you are dating or dealing with woman in general , but in this case it could work
you hurted her alot an you are probably playing push/pull games , you also turned her down once...
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now aside from that .. these kind of woman do give you drama when you chase them.. because they feel pressure... you either escalate the fuck out of her or you let go .. but not somewhere in between with uncertainty... she just wants certainty.. woman crave for structure and someone who lead them.
she's saying : i like you but i don't know what to do ...give me certainty...
who cares about the mess in her head that's her problem.. just give certainty an follow through...she's attracted...

do not mess with a womans head...just fuck em ( meaning, stop gaming and go for what you really want )

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AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
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I'm currently sleeping with this woman. Been 'dating' for about a month. I've fucked her 4 times... 4 great fucks. Dirty talk, she's come multiple times, I've licked and fingered her asshole, insane BJ's.

She told me she was 'very sexually active' when she was younger (college... she's now 33) and that she did hard drugs (not heroin, probably smoked crack and some meth a couple of times).

She told me she was homeless for about a month because at the time when she lost her job, she and her mom/dad had issues and she didn't want them to know or help her.

I'm wondering if there will ever come the time when I'll need to inquire about her daddy issues. If I plan on taking this girl seriously, should I ask her what her daddy issues are?

Currently her daddy issues are no longer a problem since she's living with her parents SPAM.

she's likely to be emotionally unhealthy... but the past is the past...

do not talk about her problems ever .. woman hate it.. woman want structure and they want someone to lead them. You do that by giving boundaries and rules instead of trying to change her.

if you don't like her or you really want to change her almost to the point where you are constantly worrying about it you must tell yourself to stop.... do you like her enough or are you lying to yourself ? instead of trying to change a girl you are better of finding a new one which suits you - you will save yourself and her alot of energy and headaches.

accept her...

aside from that .. if she's been homeless and she used alot of hard drugs you are better off wearing rubber lol .. but that's just my 50 cents... woman aren't dirty.
diseases aren't dirty - you just don't want them

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AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
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She is indeed emotionnaly unhealthy but I'm willing to try to deal with this, I really like her.
Anyway i talked to her recently about this thing to show her I was totaly against it and that she's got to take our thing seriously. She looked embarassed and told me that she started to get attached to me anyway, that she didn't even know if she was going to do anything with other guys, she just wants to keep this status cause she feels uncomfortable being fully commited to our relationship :/
Also I'm doubting she really wants to do this now, it seems like a bullshit test to me, what's your opinion?
I tried to show her that if she wants to continue like this I might just walk away one day, as you told me, and she suddenly was a lot more after me, seeking for my attention and all.
So how should I use this to end this open relationship bullshit?

Well, this divine feeling I had a few days ago, the one I mentioned in my previous post, did not last very long.

So on the day that I said that I did not want to have contact with her for a while, she said she understood etc.

But after 48 hours she started to text me again. Before I tell about what happened after those 48 hours, I just want to say how focused and how strangely perculiar happy I was in those 48 hours of no contact. I felt so very much relieved. I actually delivered and finished my work for school in time by working for about 20 hours in those two days. I was in a state of flow and things just clicked. I could do everything I wanted.

But then, after the 48 hours as I was preparing for the next big assignment that is due a few days later, she texted me:

"Complete radio silence..."
"Should I draw conclusions from this?"

It was obvious that she somehow got it inside her brain that I was breaking up with her. Remember, I did not text her at all anymore, which is something we have never done before. I knew she would probably be feeling bad about it, but she also knew that I needed this space so that I could focus. But somehow she still found the nerve (or anxiety) inside herself that wanted to text me, and announce her negative views on this whole situation.

Well, when I read that, I bonked my head on my desk in frustration, for, again, my heart sank, me hands becamse sweaty, had trouble breathing and was shaking all over. All the anxiety I was finally rid of, came backing pouring in me again. And I know I had to deal with it soon, else I would not make my next assignment on time.

I was thinking about just ignoring her, but I knew that if I did that, she would just draw the wrong conclusions and the anxiety would not go away. So I texted her:

"No ofcourse you should not worry. I am just very busy with my schoolwork. That's where all my time and energy is going out to right now, just as we discussed. Don't hope it is too inconvenient for you... X"

Too which she replied:

"Yeah, you are absolutely right! Kinda stupid reaction from me. Sorry. I'm just not having my day. Good luck with everything! Love you! X"

and after that she texted:

"I feel very guilty about what I said. Please don't take it serious. X"

I just ignored her. The relief somehow started to kick back in me. Because I knew she was on good terms with me again, I could finally started to work again. So I did. But I was very angry at her though. It all just felt like she has to have some form of attention from me, as if she could not survive without 2 days of no contact.

Oh well.

The days continued on. And somehow I started texting her again. Just informing about how I was doing okay with the exams and stuff. Asking how everything was with her.

Probably should not have done that. Because we started texting again, and I found it harder and harder to make a stop at it again. I was losing control and power.

Every new text message she sended to me, there was some small hint of irritation on her side. It was subtle, but noticable. For example:

"I am looking at your Facebook photo, staring, waiting on a new text from you... just kidding! No, how are you? Is everything going smoothely with the exams? X"

and

"How's it going? Are you ready for tomorrows exam? I'm going to think about you (which I'm doing all the time ofcourse...) Good luck tomorrow! X"

She was sending me these kind of irritable text messages because I was not replying to her as much as I did in the past. She does not like that.

And eventhough I understand where all of this is coming from, it still caused some form of anxiety for me. As for example, that last text message you just read was send to me moments ago. Tomorrow I have an exam, and now I just cannot study because of her irritating text message. I can't focus, can't set myself to work. My 48 hours of brilliant zen feelings was something already way way back in the past. The same old habits start to kick in.

I just can't take it anymore like this. I was more happy in those 48 hours than most of the time I am spending with her... I'm just worrying so goddamn much about us. This really isn't normal.

And to be honest, I haven't really missed her ever since I announced the freeze out to her. And when she was giving me this kind of text messages, being totally needy and non-understanding, after all that, all I could think of was how she does not deserve me at this moment. She does not deserve my attention like this.

It's clear she needs a lot of attention. She has almost nothing going on within her life. She has absolutely no friends, she has a job which she likes, she has her dog, she has her parents and she has me. That is it. She has not hobbies. She relies to much on me to have fun. I really really hate that. I feel so much pressure because I want to make things right, to keep things fun, but whenever she says things like "So, any news?" "Any gossip?" "Do you have anything fun to tell me?" - whenever she does that, she's kinda forcing me to entertain her... I really don't like that. It feels so forced, as if I am gathering news and stories for her during the days we don't see each other so that I could entertain her on the days I do see her.

---

My parents will be gone for two weeks after 8 days from now. It was planned that she would stay with me for two weeks so we could "test how it would be to actually live together for a longer period of time". I liked that idea a lot in the past, but now I am somehow imagining how those two weeks will be, if it will be as fun as it could be, if I will get sad by her again, or she by me, if I still think she does not deserve attention or certain behaviour from me and thus making an unhappy SPAM.... etc.

So my conclusion is this: If those two weeks don't work out, if I notice I am not happy with it during those weeks, I will send her home and explain that we should stop seeing each other because it's just not working out.

She has influenced me in good ways and bad ways, but lately the bad things are taking over too much for me. If I am not happy and if I am screwing up my schoolwork because of my own mental problems, triggered by her, then I don't think we could last in the future.

What do you think?

3volution

do not talk about it... just like a shit test .. don't let it register.. Whatever and just go on with life man.

Regarding the open relationships shit .. if she fucks around not taking your interest serious just walk away without saying anything and freeze out for a week.

I don't like open relationships .. i only do fuckbuddies or normal relationships.. so i really do not care i would have walked away in the first place... maybe it seems like im coming off a bit indifferent but this is how i feel about it.

But you have different interests and she is giving you mixed signals... express to yourself how you feel aobut it.

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AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
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Artist
hey i fucking obsessed about you and don't want to respect your space... can you forgive me so i can do it all over again ?

ignore... well.. woman do that shit if they do not get what they want... ignore.... there is a difference between love ..being obsessed and having both...

what i think ?

well .. you just have grown apart and it happens , you just evolved faster than she did , you read some of my post, thoughts about things and worked on yourself. You can never predict a result.. sometimes the good results are things you don't want to have.

She probably does love you but she is also using you as a blanket to make her life more interesting.... just look at what you said about her and how she behaves... why are you with her in the first place ? IF she wants to create a better life she needs to stop using you as a security blanket. She either needs to respect your new way of living, investing more time in yourself or you need to break up.

You know what to do .. you talk about how you feel in a accurate way.. i think you have matured and learned the ability to align with your own emotions and to try new ways. Just trust yourself and new experiences... Every clingy feeling comes from your ego , because in truth - having her in your life is ok but you don't need her.

if you sense you want to get out of this relationship you need to do IT NOW.. do not get attached again by seeing how things will go... just act when you really feel like it.

basicly im saying, i know you will do the right thing.

_________________
AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
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Hey so this is probably an easy question, if you know the girl likes you and you like the girl, connection, etc, whatever how do you move to boyfriend - girlfriend status? just ask?

I wanted to answer your question. But just out of curiosity first tell me how old are you

oh ya i forgot to mention im 17 and a senior in high school so this is high school game, sorta changes things

I'm having troubles understanding my ex-GF. As of last weekend I'm not completely sure where we stand. I'll try to elaborate. We dated for close to a year, and she broke up with me 2 months ago, because of differences she thought we couldn't work through. Anyways, I cut contact with her immediately, however she initiated contact a week later, asking how my weekend was. I told her it was great.She was acting real depressed over a disaster that happened over her weekend. The situation seemed pretty serious, but it could have also been a shit test that I failed. Afterwards, no contact resumed for another couple of weeks. I received a long, emotional message from her afterwards, which I responded to, while being fairly neutral. She would periodically text me, saying that I have completely forgot about her, and that I'm having the time of my life without her. I wouldn't initiate contact, and when she did, I was always cheerful, happy, and held no resentment because of the situation. I was able to realise that I was being used as a crutch. I can guarantee I failed a couple shit tests along the way, but as I stated above, last weekend is where things started to confuse me. I was out drinking on Friday night, and she started texting me, with an inside joke between us. I continued to talk to her, until she let me know that she was heading to the same place as I was with her friends that night. Anyway, she decided that she wanted to meet up with me at the club. I was pretty vague with my responses, and she thought I was mad at her, although I wasn't. She asked to dance, which I assumed was one dance, to a song, but it turns out we danced until the club closed. We also kissed several times throughout this period. This was the first time we'd seen each other in 2 months. She let me know it was really nice to see me, and that she had a great time. The next evening, I thanked her for handling it so well, as I was expecting her to try to make me jealous, and all that. I'm aware of the possibility that it was just a drunken mistake, reverting to old habits, but it's hard to know.

Anyway, we haven't' talked since, and I'm not too sure what I'm able to swing knowing all this. Of course I don't want to be friendzoned completely.

Thank you mate! Got her to say "lets get back", ok, so now we are back in the relationship, but I'm feeling a strange pressure, it's like, before the break up I had she calling me everyday, now I HAVE to call her first, which is making me sick, can I push n pull now? haha Im lost, totally lost, she said she likes me and if she never gave us another shot, then she would never know if things would workout, now what? Im between heaven and hell, can't call too much, can't text her too much, the only thing that's changed is that she's hella jealous... and demonstrating..

kino .. escalation .. does she comply ? . amount of IOI.. does she invest ? does she stare when you look away ? it's very simple .. it's all reading signals and enjoying interactions. It's all body language , is someone open or closed ? How do they respond in general ?

you never ask.. you just observe if she's attracted/ interested.. if she is just date and kiss close .

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AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
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no just go for it ... do you want her or don't you want her... do you just want sex or a relationship.

ask yourself what you want... and go for it.. you got nothing to lose

_________________
AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
questions about herbal medicine here-vp582526.html#582526