Nearly completely over fear of rejection...but not quite



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PostPosted: Thu Nov 03, 2011 12:44 pm 
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Joined: Wed Dec 08, 2010 11:58 pm
Posts: 393
Alright so I'm PRETTY content with how little I care about a females point of view on me...but I must admit, I STILL have some minor feeling of rejection phobia when I look at an attractive girl. No where near what it was in the beginning, but it still exists nonetheless.

For example, today I saw an attractive female during my exam. Rather than thinking
"Would she like me if I spoke to her?" as I would have previously thought this time last year, my current mind frame was
"It would be so good to be making out with her now etc etc etc"
And that helps me a lot, because I focus on what I want and that motivates me to get to work.
However when I actually thought about talking to her, two things popped into my head
a) I have a girlfriend already
b) If people see me talking to her who know I have a girlfriend, things could go bad because they will know instantly what I'm up to.

Immediately I thought "Okay so the only thing stopping me from gaming her is that I'm no longer single. Fair enough"
But I thought about it a little longer and realised that maybe even if I WAS I wouldn't have gone for it. Although it felt like I was so close to having the courage to do it, there was still some sort of limiting belief in the back of my mind saying something like "Although there is a good chance it should work, if you get rejected it might play on the confidence you have and degrade it, turning you back into the AFC you. You're only x amount of rejections away before you're back to where you started."

In a sense, although the biggest thing stopping me was having a girl already, I also felt that if I was single (played it out in my head) and got rejected, I would lose confidence and become a worse person, less sure of myself etc.

Would that happen? Do you lose confidence for getting rejected? I have been before of course, and i don't recall feeling bad afterwards....but maybe after a certain amount it would mess with you..?
How do you completely get rid of that fear? It wasn't a strong fear like it used to be, it was more like "I feel so close to doing this! But there is still some small doubt...I need a little motivation first".

And lastly...the fact that I thought about this enough during my exam to distract me while I have a loving girlfriend...does that make me a bad person? At the same time I feel quite bad about it already. Even though I didn't do anything I feel like I nearly cheated.
Man I'm fucked.


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PostPosted: Thu Nov 03, 2011 1:39 pm 
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Joined: Sat Oct 08, 2011 5:45 pm
Posts: 19
First of all I don't think anyone can guarantee they won't get rejected by some girls, even MPUA. Even MPUA admit they still get a bit of AA even though they have done it a million times before, fear of rejection is the same, it will never completly go away but it will diminsh through time and experience.

Rejection is a hurtful feeling and everyone has experienced it. It's just how you deal with it that matters. Also, when you complete a PU the feeling that gives you is a million times stronger that any feeling of rejection.

I wouldn't feel bad about having thoughts of approaching girls whilst you are in a relationship. I am not in a relationship at the current time but if I was I would still game girls. View it as practice. If you pull off the PU it's really up to you wether you cheat or not. What you don't want is to be in a relationship for years and ignore all other girls, then your relationship doesn't work out nd you have lost all your PU skills.


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PostPosted: Thu Nov 03, 2011 3:56 pm 
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Joined: Wed Nov 02, 2011 12:19 am
Posts: 5
I think fear of rejection is always gona be there. On some nights at a club I can approach 20 girls or so in a span of 2 hours, and it gets just as hard getting into it the next night.

_________________
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PostPosted: Thu Nov 03, 2011 10:13 pm 
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Joined: Wed Dec 08, 2010 11:58 pm
Posts: 393
Alright cool, thanks for that guys :)


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