Approach Anxiety.



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 Post subject: Approach Anxiety.
PostPosted: Sun Nov 18, 2007 11:49 pm 
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Men oftentimes fear the approach. They see a beautiful girl in a venue, and they just admire from afar. Once they are told to approach, they are paralyzed with fear.

Here is one reason:

50,000 years ago, one HAD the right of fearing the approach...back in the old
cavement days, it was natural for a person to fear talking to a woman,
because naturally, these cavemen would live in groups of about 50. Now,
imagine this scenario:

You are in a 50 person community. There are 25 men and 25 girls. Of those
25, how many are:

* Sick?
* Not appealing?
* Old?
* Young?
* ...TAKEN?

That leaves approximately 3 or 4 potential women that the caveman can
mate with. If that person went up to the girl, and tried to mate with her
and she rejected him, then she would go and tell all of her friends that
you fucked up your chances of being with her. Then, that ruins your
chances of being with any of the other girls that she just communicated
with.

That is hardwired in our mind. It is inherited from our ancestors into our
current thoughts.

Another reason:

In the 50 person society, there is a LEADER. If you are not that leader,
then you're not getting laid. You're not going to be as attractive to the
women in that society. Naturally, one must become a leader in order for
a women to become attracted to him.

So, if you approach a woman, and she is taken by the leader, she is
going to tell the leader that you tried to have sex with her. The leader is
going to be very upset, and get his "men" to beat you in the head with a
rock. In a sense, 50,000 years ago, if you failed, YOU DIED.


Those two fears are in us to this day even though they were implemented
thousands of years ago. There is NO NEED TO FEAR APPROACHING
women. In today's modern civilization, one has hundreds or thousands of
women to choose from. If you fail the first time, the idea is to KEEP trying.

YOU HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE. So what if she tells you to go away? So
what if you mess up the set? That doesn't mean you're going to die...it
also does not mean that you are going to ruin your chances with any other
girls.

Here's a tip:

EXPECT NOTHING FROM THE SET. Open the set, and just be a casual guy.
Use routines, but EXPECT NOTHING. Just try to make friends at first, and
then if you fail, then you don't care, because you weren't expecting
anything, right? And if you successfully close the set, then even better!

Just remember: you have nothing to lose. Expect nothing. Be calm. Who
cares if you mess up? We all makes mistakes. And In the end, it will be
worth the time :).

*Information acquired from Mystery.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Nov 19, 2007 12:21 am 
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Joined: Thu Dec 21, 2006 10:01 pm
Posts: 385
Location: Orange County, CA
You know it's funny how fears that are ingrained in our heads from those good old caveman days still affect us in our daily lives even though there's no need for them! Kind of like an obsolete body part.

There are tons of these things we have to get over. For instance I learned in my public speaking class this quarter that the fear of public speaking comes from our old instincts and the things ingrained in us from those times. To give an example... When a person is standing in front of a crowd of people and has to speak to them, that speaker gets nervous...heart rate increases, mouth gets dry, sometimes they sweat. It's an animal instinct that comes from having to fight off predators in the "caveman days" It's an instinct that we are facing a predator and we're experiencing the fight or flight response, an unconscious feeling that we will be eaten. This fear of being eaten is completely illogical but it's there. It's subconscious, and we have to work to get rid of it, or focus those nervous energies into something positive.

Nice find, thanks for putting it up.

~Muse

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Nov 22, 2007 1:08 am 
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I agree. It's really something incredible, and I can't get over the fact that
we still have genes living on inside of us since the beginning of humanity.

Cool, huh?

Anyways, hope this helps you guys with approach anxiety issues :).


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