girl im dating randomly got cold feet out of nowhere



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PostPosted: Mon Oct 31, 2011 8:38 pm 
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so remember i posted an article about not being able to make my gf cum about a week or two ago. ive been dating her about a month and a half. she was super into me, like texting me/hanging out with me everyday then one night i sent her some text joking about her playing hard to get. so this was like wednseday and she flips out and shes like" i dont just want to be your FB i want more than that and you know it" so i ask her out the next day. same day she found out her ex bf (broke up in july) who she dated for like 6 months was cheating on her/stealing money from her the whole time. i think this is why she randomly said no when i asked her out. she said she didnt think we were compatable but she really likes me and she is just really confused. this was thursday, she was still my date saturday. she still initiated contact friday and saturday and i was her date for some event. she was acting perfectly normal, dancing, making out with me etc. then like 3-4 hours in she was just like "i dont want to lead you on" so i was just like "i understand but i have to run"

so she texts me "Hey, I'm really sorry if I upset you, I just think its better that I'm honest about where I stand. as much as I like you, I just don't see it workin out as a relationship and I don't wanna lead you on. " afterwards saturday night i dont reply then sunday she texted me telling me that she has a bunch of my shirts/sweaters.jeans washed and she'll get them to me asap.

so is the situation salvageable? im obviously just going to give her space. i honestly think im the best thing that ever happened to this girl, and i hope she'll see that...


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 31, 2011 9:51 pm 
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hmmm imo you failed in a couple areas.

when she flipped out and you caved in the very next day-> this shows that you are willing to do whatever it takes to "get" her and do whatever she asks of you.

this is bad dynamics within male-female relations. correct move is to say "i understand you want more but i think we should take it slow, i dont know what i want exactly, blab bla bla bla " to keep HER on her toes

when she she said she didnt wanna lead you on and you left-> shows you were highly affected by what she said. shows she has all the power. again, horrible dynamic. it should be the opposite.

correct move is to say "who says your leading me on? Lol im cool with whatever you want baby"

when she textd you and you didnt reply-> same as above.

salvageable? probably not. just learn and move on. bitches aint shit


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 31, 2011 11:29 pm 
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In terms of pick up theory I didn't do anything wrong IMO. I asked her out because I wanted to be exclusive and she brought up the label talk and I left because I had 3 other parties to go to and I didn't want to show her I was emotionally reactive. There was really nothing to discuss, how would staying have helped at all. I'm just digging myself into a bigger hole. I don't think it has anything to do with me


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 01, 2011 12:17 am 
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This is something that's in her head longer already, and maybe a situation triggered it.
But this can't come from one little thing.

It's something that's in HER head, nothing you will do or say will change it.

Now is the situation saveable. When she brings you your clothes, don't let her explain anything. Just say "It's ok" Don't let her say a word, tell her she needs to go, IT DOESN'T AFFECT YOU AT ALL!! And don't initiate with her again.

In her head it will be: "that's all? This is it? He's not going to chase me?" bla bla bla...

that's what you want to have...


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 01, 2011 12:21 am 
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agree with pinkstar. give her the ignore SPAM from now on. She'll come back.


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 01, 2011 12:22 am 
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sorry, double post.


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PostPosted: Wed Nov 02, 2011 5:00 am 
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yeah its sort of annoying. i feel totally powerless but i guess there is nothing i can do at this point, i have just been getting hot girls numbers specifically so i can add them on facebook for social proof. hopefully she'll figure her shit out soon. i guess this is my third case of oneitis this year haha. -__-


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PostPosted: Sun Nov 13, 2011 12:34 am 
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Joined: Tue Sep 20, 2011 2:40 am
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you need to show her that you can be the perfect guy to the woman of your choice! When she see's the value that other girls put on you, she will realise what she's been ignoring.


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