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| Author | Message |
| P1nkstar | PostPosted: Sat Oct 29, 2011 11:26 am | |
| Offline | | MPUA Forum Addict |  | Joined: Mon Nov 08, 2010 9:11 am Posts: 298 | | I know there are some good posters here, so i would like to get your opinions.
Little background: I'm 23yo, i'm in my 3th long term relationship, I always finished the relationships. My first after 7 months, my second after 6 months, and i'm in a 3th for a year now.
My problem; I'm losing attraction for the girls. I love them the first months, but then i get irritated by what they say or what they do, so bad, i even can't get a decent boner anymore (with her) on the end of the ride.
This happened 2 times before in the past, and it's happening again, i'm just staying with my current gf longer, cuase maybe it's phase i need to go trough in the relationship?
What's the problem here? Is it the girls? Is it me? Is it the relationship?
I'm seriously thinking of ending this relationship... What would you do?
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| nikki valentine | PostPosted: Sat Oct 29, 2011 11:35 am | |
| Offline | | MPUA Forum Enthusiast | Joined: Sun Oct 16, 2011 9:55 am Posts: 46 Location: Sydney, Australia | | Depends on your point of view
If your a Darwinist, its their belief that man isn't monogamous, so they would say this is you just wanting to spread your seed far and wide
Others might just say you have commitment problems or something of the sort
All you can do it what makes you feel comfortable. I would say stick with it for a bit longer and see if anything changes. Maybe spend less time with her to see if that makes your feelings for her change at all?
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| Mr Archer | PostPosted: Sat Oct 29, 2011 11:37 am | |
| Offline | | Forum Bully |  | Joined: Wed Jul 15, 2009 1:58 am Posts: 110 Location: Radelaide | | End it. You will do it sooner or later anyway. Best not to waste everyone's time by dragging things out.
You may be getting into these "relationships" too soon. Try to be a bit more picky before you settle.
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| TheChallenger | PostPosted: Sat Oct 29, 2011 3:31 pm | |
| Offline | | MPUA Forum Enthusiast | Joined: Sun Oct 23, 2011 5:29 pm Posts: 39 | | Apparently, she's not good enough for you, that's the end of a relationship of settlement (had 1 of those, I settled because it was a rebound and it ended up pretty quickly).
Anyway, end this and get yourself a decent girl.
The first 4 to 6 monthes of a relationship is a "honey moon" phase and you cant tell who cares more, but after that, one of the sides starts to care more than the other and if the gap is too big you get a situation like yours (the girl is probably insane about you).
I may offer a crazy idea if you're up for expirements: you can try and be needy + extra nice for a while and you'll see that she'll care less about you, and when that happens, you'll be attracted to your girl once again, but that's kinda faking it and you'll lose the attraction again after a while.
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| PUAzilla | PostPosted: Wed Nov 09, 2011 2:31 pm | |
| Offline | | MPUA Forum Addict | Joined: Tue Oct 25, 2011 4:40 pm Posts: 237 | | [quote="TheChallenger"]
I may offer a crazy idea if you're up for expirements: you can try and be needy + extra nice for a while and you'll see that she'll care less about you, and when that happens, you'll be attracted to your girl once again, but that's kinda faking it and you'll lose the attraction again after a while.[/quote]
That's a cool plan bro. I would be intrested to see how that goes.
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| Mack 2.0 | PostPosted: Wed Nov 09, 2011 11:04 pm | |
| Offline | | PUA Forum Leader |  | Joined: Sat Jan 01, 2011 9:05 pm Posts: 2702 | | let's look a little deeper...
beyond pua...
into psychology...
people do what works.
and what that means, is that, everything we do, we do for a reason, and that reason is always some form of payoff.
trust me on this.
so, when you start these relationships, you are hopeful that your payoff will be met. however, after some point, you are realizing that it isn't.
none of us can venture a guess as to what your payoff is.
so, i ask you, dig deep down inside, look in the mirror, and say "what is it that i want in a relationship? what do i really want more than anything else?"
the answer could be:
- sex
- love
- commitment
- understanding
- trust
- excitement
- protection
- security
we have no idea. but until you figure out what your payoff is, only then can you start to understand why these relationships are not fulfilling it.
do this and report back. _________________ what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!
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| swagstar | PostPosted: Wed Nov 09, 2011 11:34 pm | |
| Offline | | MPUA Forum Enthusiast | Joined: Sat Oct 29, 2011 11:16 pm Posts: 89 Location: British Columbia | | There`s many fish in the sea. Explore and maybe one day you`ll find a keeper. Keep at it bro.
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| damien93 | PostPosted: Thu Nov 10, 2011 11:18 pm | |
| Offline | | New to MPUA Forum | Joined: Thu Nov 10, 2011 11:15 pm Posts: 1 | | you may be losing attraction because you know that she is yours.
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