Hi I would like some help with a problem I have been having for months,
I have a immature group of friends that just talks bullshit for most of the time, it was funny when we were younger but as I grew older I became more mature and evolved to a new person. Every time I talk to my friends, its always about a stupid random topic and we always have pointless conversations about nothing.
My problem is I want to leave the group but when I leave I have no other group to go to and now these days its hard to find people to hang out with and talk to. I grew up always being left out and wanting to be "in" or accepted but I never was.
I always cared of how people thought about and wanted positive feedback but then at times I get depressed over small things.

What can I do to fix this problem?

A couple questions:

What if you felt indifferent to the opinions of others?
What if you were the one others flocked to?

A couple remedies, both short-term and long-term:

Leave the group, focus on seminars given by David DeAngelo to serve as your temporary-yet-unfulfilling mastermind

Download Paul Scheele's paraliminal audios, specifically Relationships.

Download Gambler's trial on the banner above (you can cancel if you want) & listen to "Approaching Confidence," an NLP hypnosis session that has changed my views and life very, very dramatically.

Then, watch the other videos in that as well, because they blend very with the NLP Hypnosis.


Try these, and tell me what happens. My experience has been that friendships require a constant, positive vibe over an extended period of time. Let's make this happen so that you have an excellent group of friends to contribute to and draw upon at any given time.

Let's make things happen.

What if you felt indifferent to the opinions of others?
I do feel indifferent to the opinions of others if it's about bullshit and things wasting my time, but I don't have a indifferent attitude towards the opinion of others when I know it actually means something, for example me relating to others opinions or having connections.

What if you were the one others flocked to?
If i were ever the one others flocked to then I would live a positive lifestytle knowing that i have others coming to me and I wouldn't live such a lonely sad life.

But thanks for the help Surreptitious.

Hey man

im the exact same boat, i feel like i want to break free from my current group of friends. Simply because they talk ballshit and do fuck all for there selves, it was great when i was about 16 because i felt respected. but now its got to a point where i want to move on - meet new people, associate my self with the spontaneous and ambitious circle.

Do you have any dreams to follow? i do, i want to be a successful musician, but i gave that up when i met my peers...but now i know what it is i want out of life.

Maybe its part of growing up, im 18 now turning 19 soon.

I find it hard to balance out my friendship circles, because one group dont along so great with the other group kind of thing.

Maybe you should take up a new hobbie that involves meeting with new people, such as dancing - as gay as it might sound, but it'll be great with interaction with people and getting close

I'll experiment what Surriptitous has said and i'll report back, i hope all goes well!

Casonova

These are your friends man. Just because you are changing doesnt mean you have to ditch them.

_________________
Half Greek, half English. Just the good halves.

Find some people who want to sarge...?

These will be your new friends and this will be your new life.

I feel you.

I've always felt that most of my friends have been reluctant to do really anything different in their lives and leave their comfort zones, a certain laziness to the personalities which has rubbed off on me a little bit unfortunately.

One friend in particular who is an AFC, we were frustrated with the lack of women in our lives so we were supposed to go out all the time and work on our game and critique each other and expand our abilities and our life experiences. Alas, it turned out he was an undependable shithead and just wanted me to do all the work then leech off of me.

This doesn't apply to all of my friends but most in my particular circle have a petulant and half-baked worldview that wont get them anywhere. I know its easier said than done but you need to go out and just meet plenty of new people, at least a few of them will be really cool and then you can expand your social circle and you'll be much happier and better off.

_________________
The present is theirs, the future is mine.

I used to drink, a lot, A LOT.

At some point I quit drinking, and pretty much ditched 4-5 really good friends. Sure, I still see them from time to time but instead of twice a week I see them maybe once every 2-3 months.

If you want to keep changing yourself you'll have to make sacrifices.

I gave up booze, videogames, friends because I gave up booze and videogames. I also gave up fastfood. I don't watch TV anymore either.


The only times I watch TV or play videogames now is when I'm extremely bored or really have nothing better to do.

Hi there,

I'm new to game but what your talking about is something I have a lot of experience with myself. I think you should take what surreptitious said very seriously.... forgive me for assuming if I am way off the mark but to me it sounds like you have a very low self esteem. Your problems sound almost identical to ones I had not that long ago, and they don't go away on there own. Surreptitious said what if you didn't care what people thought about you and what if people flocked to you instead of you feeling the need to flock to them. In my opinion the way to achieve this is to be confident and the first step to becoming confident it to sort out your self esteem. Again forgive me for assuming but even in your post you sound like your beating yourself up and blaming yourself for some of these problems. That negative voice in your head telling you that your not good enough needs to go.

Regarding your friends, if your not happy with them then it sounds like its time for a change. I know its always said but try joining new groups, clubs etc meet new people and if you give off a confident vibe then I promise you, you will be the one people are drawn too. **side note, i find doing exercise helps to make you feel much more confident quickly... its scientifically proven to release good endorphins and so makes you a happier person**

David DeAngelo seems to be the person people recommend for inner game in Pick Up but in all honestly I haven't been in the game long enough to take advantage of him.

I was in a very similar situation a few months ago and my doctor made me read...

- Self Esteem: A proven program of cognitive techniques for assessing, Improving and maintaining your self esteem - This book has literally changed my life and I feel like I don't even know the person that was living in my head less than 6 months ago.... he was so negative and draining to live with. Also since addressing this issue I've realised that people are much more drawn to me as a result of me being happier with the person I am.

Finally if you are feeling depressed a lot of the time and its starting to affect your everyday life then bite the bullet and get some anti-depressants. They're not a cure but they sure as hell make it easier for you to tackle your issues head on and sort them out once and for all.

I may be way off the ball here man so sorry if this isn't at all relevant at all. I just though I'd give my two cents on the off chance it may help.

Freak

I had similar problems.

I recommend reading these:

Inner game
inner-game-vt120557.html?highlight=

Social standing and reputation
social-standing-and-reputation-vt122175.html?highlight=

A different but a very important Inner game post
things-i-learned-in-therapy-inner-game- ... highlight=

If you have more questions after reading these three, you can pm me if you would like.

Hope your problems get resolved, mine did after hard work. Good Luck.

J Slay

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Slayin ladies all around the world

You miss 100% of the shots you never take.
- Wayne Gretzky

It sounds like you are having a terrible time, and you may need to go to either a social skills group or find a therapist who specializes in relationship issues. Your problem seems to stem from your relationship with your parents, and that is where we learn to form intimate, meaningful relationships with peers.

It is quite possible that you are not perceived the way that you wish. While you may be feeling snubbed by others, they may feel that they have tried to be friendly with you and misunderstood how you responded. That is not to say that it’s your fault, however.

It’s simply that we can be viewed as needy, clingy, or even demanding when we are simply desperate to make friends. Please consider going to another therapist. The one you went to probably didn’t understand where you are coming from. Be completely honest about how it feels to be rejected or abandoned and try to figure out what is really going on at the root of all of this. I can’t diagnose over the Internet, and no one should really try. All I can say is that you are struggling to be understood and loved and need to find a professional who can help.

Try to find a good therapist at Psychology site.
I hope this helps.