Hey guys, I could use your help on this...

My ex is coming back to our hometown in a few days. I went no contact, until she started talking to me a few weeks back. Then the other day, she asked me, "Can I see your apartment when I visit?"

I really had feelings for this girl (still do), but the only way I'd show her my apt would be if she wanted to be intimate. Thoughts, suggestions?

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"Let me ask you something. If the rule you followed brought you to this, of what use was the rule?"

Pretty obvious IOI it's up to you whether you escalate or don't.

Mmm, not as obvious as I think.

I moved into the apartment after we broke up, so she's never seen it. My worst fear is that she'd come over, get the tour, want to grab coffee, and that'd be it. Like taking a puppy for a walk. I don't know if I'm supposed to act cocky and aloof or what.

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"Let me ask you something. If the rule you followed brought you to this, of what use was the rule?"

make the situation platonic, like you guys are just friends... tease her a little bit, turn on the swag, and if she gives you a subtle but obvious indicator that she wants more, take her hand, make it mutual, look her in the eye and she'll crumble. girls who have had past feelings for you are the easiest and most fun to game.. at least in my oppinion

The last time she came to visit was months ago. I acted cool initially, but as her trip went on, I said I wanted MORE with us. That ended weird, but hey, she still reaches out often.

Anyways, if I turn on the swag here, will that make her more interested, or assume I'm over it and we both go on with our lives? And what's acceptable teasing? Sorry for all the questions, I've only got one shot at this and I know you fellas know your stuff.

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"Let me ask you something. If the rule you followed brought you to this, of what use was the rule?"

Girls are complicated and can do things for a variety of reasons. Some of it depends on her and some of it depends on you.

For example if you've changed a lot since she last saw you, got an interesting life and plenty of stuff going on, she may be more attracted than before.

Otherwise she could be just coming to make sure she still has you on hook, like an ego thing, she wants to know she can still have you if she wants.

If she's coming over you want to make sure she sees you in the former category - if you come across as the same guy she ditched, nothing is going to happen.

turn on the swag = knowing you're an attractive confident man who need no women to make him happy, but would still let them in your life with a smile and a nod.

don't tease too much, use it as a spice. If she says something silly/stupid, give her some light shit for it, don't be a douche, but tease her... you know, challenge her a bit.

dont spill your emotions on her and don't tell her you want more or it'll end weird like you said, just let things roll a bit and if she asks you first its ok to talk about it. if nothing goes down that path, and you feel like things are going well, just keep being smoooth like keith stooone. she could just want sex.


p.s. show her some cool stuff at your place.

I like it, brary.

I was thinking about giving her the tour, and then when we pass my room, say, "It's messy. You don't wanna go in there". Naturally, this will build curiosity and if she DOES want to fool around, it won't matter to her one way or the other. I just don't want to invite her over, give a tour, and end it platonicly with her saying, "Well I had a good time..."

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"Let me ask you something. If the rule you followed brought you to this, of what use was the rule?"

bary nailed it. ALso, try to get her to drink alcohol when she goes to visit. Have a bottle of wine ready. Act as if you don't care about her. Be strong.

She texts me randomly in the days leading up to her visit. I reply in my own time, but I haven't initiated any conversations. All good signs...

I'm just wondering though, what do I do if she puts up last minute resistance? Like, waits to see if I go in for the kiss, and then turns away?

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"Let me ask you something. If the rule you followed brought you to this, of what use was the rule?"

Fellas, I'm proud to say the visit was a success.

I was overthinking this to the max. Once I realized I was in control, everything panned out nicely.

The whole time we were hanging out, she kept getting amused whenever someone would send me a text. She even tried to read them...twice.

Also, upon giving her the tour of the apartment, I told her the bedroom was off-limits because it was messy. Guys...she tried to bolt past me six times to get in. She just had to know what was so unsightly. Each time, I'd wrestle her back to the couch like I was playing rugby in high school. Granted, we were laughing the whole time and it was good-spirited kino. And it made it easier to finally make my move and THEN escalate to the bedroom.

Not to mention when I was in there, I didn't bust once. Not once.

I feel like a million bucks. I thank you for all your help. It was all appreciated.

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"Let me ask you something. If the rule you followed brought you to this, of what use was the rule?"

Kind of the same thing with my ex
Has she tried to make contact with you since she left?
What're your intentions now?

She flew back to her place today. As of right now, no word.

I don't know what my intentions are. Even though I wanted her back initially, I don't know what I'd say if she wanted to give us a second try. It's confusing.

Deep down, she knows she lost a great thing. I think by the time she decides to act on that, it will be too late. One day she's going to come to town and want to hang out, and I may have to break it to her I'm seeing someone else.

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"Let me ask you something. If the rule you followed brought you to this, of what use was the rule?"