i was siting at a table in the park today smoking a black and mild when i see this cute girl walk up and sit down on a bench maybe 25 yards away. the park was pretty empty. and i already had an opening line picked out ("excuse me, there wasnt anywhere else to sit."). i wanted to talk to her but i didnt want to go up to her with a cigar in my hand and i didnt want to put it out. i glanced at her a couple times and really thought about getting up. but i couldnt bring myself to do it. the more i wanted to sac up and go talk to her the more nervous i became until she finally left. it was like she was waiting for me to go over there. ive been listening to "winning confidence and total self esteem" by erick brown for a few days now. i feel like its slowly working but i think im part of the percentage of people who cant be hypnotized. the only time i feel confident is when im drinking but i wanna be able to talk to girls without being under the influence. how can i fix this? are there stronger hypnotizing tapes out there? any help would be greatly appreciated.

Went to Barnes and noble to try out a dating for dummies opener. I was ready had my confidence up i was just gonna go for it as soon as a saw a cute girl. Too bad i was on a tight schedule and only had about 5 mins before my friends left. The store was empty. There were only two girls worth going up to but they were both with their boy friends. I decided fuck it ill try again another day. We then went to go eat at some Italian place. One of my friends tries to open the waitress but he got shut down and gave up. He said i should neg her. I made the mistake of thinking about it for too long and never went for it cuz i was too nervous but in retrospect im glad i didn't cuz it seems inappropriate for me to neg her when my friend only got shut down because he couldn't adapt to the conversation which took a completely different turn than he expected. I can't usually talk to waitresses anyway unless im just ordering food. I never really ate at dine ins growing up so i usually screw something up and just never feel comfortable unless im drinking. It usually seems like their too far away when im sitting down and their standing over me. I speak in a clear voice yet i always have to repeat my drink order to them. Ithat's one thing that i hate. Being told to repeat myself. I can never do it without sounding irritated which i know doesn't make people comfortable. I did manage to ask her how many layers were in the lasagna but i couldn't tell her i thought her hair would look better down when i knew she had to wear it up. I had to get out of here. As we walked out the girl at the greeters stand said have a nice day and i was so nervous i don't know what i said but the pitch of my voice started going up as i basically ran through the doors. I felt horrible the rest of the night. I do wish that there were more opportunities so i could at least try to feel good about myself before heading home but there weren't unless u count the few girls i did see on cell phones. Im gonna try to chalk this one up as a bad day. Ill try again tomorrow