Given enough opportunity, such as time and encounters, ANY guy can create attraction in ANY female.

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Recommended reading list.

Double Your Dating by DD
(This will work on your inner game)

http://www.freewebs.com/xfman/
(This will work on your outer game)

Your statement is proven wrong in so many ways......

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I'm almost as sweet as lemon juice... almost

Ever heard of a lesbian?

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http://youtube.com/watch?v=4ufa-q7DcWM

Watch me make them Bi .

Sorry Valence, but I totally disagree with that statement.

To take it a step further, it is thinking like this that gets a lot of men into trouble and/or causes them a high degree of long-term disappointment and frustration.

As a man, you will never be able to attract and/or seduce each and every woman you meet. I don't care how handsome you are, how wealthy you are, how famous and/or popular you are, or how good your sex skills are.

Plain and simply, there are just some women who will never be attracted to you romantically and/or sexually. I don't care how many times you converse with them or generally interact with them.

The quicker men realize this, the better off they will be in the long run....

You dismiss it but are only able to once qualifiers are added. At not point did I say romantically or sexually. There are different types of attraction that do not constitute the spreading of someone's legs.

_________________
Recommended reading list.

Double Your Dating by DD
(This will work on your inner game)

http://www.freewebs.com/xfman/
(This will work on your outer game)

I agree with Mode 1 on this one..

Hence the value in having communications skills that allow you to evaluate potential mates and situations rapidly and with the minimum misunderstanding.

I look back over the years and think of how many times such misunderstandings have occurred even in my life with women especially. Many times of course. And often the situation is irreversible after the damage has been done. Easy to blame the woman, for not doing what comes naturally to her. I mean it's their body, isn't it obvious I want it? Why wont she just say "jump on it big boy"..? Man, what a great world that would be. Just kidding. Think about the 250 lb. fat chick.

Like the author points out, the equation is a two way street. But then you can only control your own behavior directly. And by altering your communication style you can come off as strong and effective at the same time. It's a win/win in my opinion. Certainly not the whole cup of tea but one many men have great difficulty with as they watch other often more assertive guys walk off with the chicks.

Heck, how many guys have you seen hang around too long hoping, throwing out one passive aggressive attempt after another towards a particular woman when when even the casual observer can see that it aint happening in a million years. The conventional wisdom is he had a bad approach, opening, etc.. Yep, just another way of describing what's in Alan's material. The Bad Boy lifestyle makes a similar point about effective and direct communication.

There's a happy medium here some place, and the mode 1 material explores this in great detail. I'm about half way through the material so far and it is rather eye opening.

Communication is such an important component to successful interaction. It effects one mental and social health in so many ways.

In my opinion, it's worthy exploration.

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http://youtube.com/watch?v=4ufa-q7DcWM

What? What guy wants to be a woman's "platonic boyfriend?"

I only deal with issues related to romantic and/or sexual chemistry and attraction. Honestly (not to sound too harsh, but...), I could care less about helping men become better "platonic friends" to women.

You don't need advice and wisdom from others for that....

You hit the nail on the head!

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Perception is Reality

Mode 1 is an interesting read.

And it answers many questions I had about my own communication style, and how it came to be.

Alan, one thing though.

If I exhibited Mode 1 behavior all the time, I'd probably have multiple STD's, would have been divorced long ago, and my reputation down here in the south would be trashed which would have adversely effected my employment opportunities, etc...

So would these negatives be outweighed by the small mental health and communication gains of projecting my thoughts and desires without reservation? That's a hard one. Not enough time in the day to follow through on every sexy babe that crosses my path, or every sexy thought I have when I see or interact with an attractive woman. Not to mention the friction this can sometimes cause with other guys, especially concerning women who aren't too keen on making the connection between involvement and ownership. I think the term is jealousy.

In fact in some ways I'd say much of my behavior is already Mode 1 (semper fi). But I've somewhat suppressed it verbally for the sake of just getting along and offering women (especially the more attractive ones) the ability to interact in public without being harassed sexually constantly. And still this has caused issues from time to time especially at places of employment where you're almost damned if you do, damned if you don't. And if you're tall, handsome and outgoing you're viewed as kin to the devil or something (welcome to the bible belt). Gay if you're not sexually expressive enough. It's sort of like walking a tightrope of collective social and intellectual stupidity out here in the real world.

You know it's a power game out here. And those with the power make the rules. If you're seen as too promiscuous or successful, especially openly it can have consequences. Certainly if you're the boss or have enough jack you can get away with almost anything, as long as little honey doesn't have a good lawyer and a bone to pick with the male species (I'm reminded of the '80's).

Wouldn't it be a great world if everybody could be open and direct about their wants, feelings and desires towards each other and especially the opposite sex?

On second thought maybe not.

But you touch on a great point. Which is the fact that all these confusing social rules and standards of behavior, causes a lot of repression in a lot of people which leads to all sorts of mental ailments and misunderstanding especially between the sexes.

In that regard perhaps part of the larger problem is this society is just becoming too crowded, too neurotic, and too abusive. And the more people we crowd into smaller and smaller places, and more affluence spreads the more people feel a need to just get along. I mean everybody's just so uptight. The alternative? Living under a bridge or out in the woods someplace?

I'm reminded of this skit, where the young lady is riding an elevator with a group of men and can read what they are thinking. Then the shock when the little boy boards the elevator and is thinking the same thing. Yep, it's hilarious. But imagine the implications if all these guys exhibited Mode 1 behavior openly. And that's the paradox in a nutshell, where does one draw the line? And what are appropriate standards of behavior in the social context of the moment? As I'm sure you are aware there is no one answer for every circumstance.

[youtube]http://youtube.com/watch?v=28eDelSTVWU[/youtube]

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http://youtube.com/watch?v=4ufa-q7DcWM

Thank you.
Cool.
Why is that? I've been exhibiting Mode One Behavior for about 20 years now, and I've never in my life had an STD. I've never been married, so divorce is a non-factor. And I'm completely satisfied with my image and reputation in the community.

Believe it or not, I actually get as much, if not more praise from women about Mode One than I do from men. Women want men to be more upfront and straightforward.
Sorry bro, but I don't really get your point here. So ... you're essentially saying it's better to exhibit Mode Two and/or Mode Three Behavior rather than Mode One?
Mode One is not directly synonymous with "harassing" women. There is a difference between being upfront and straightforward with your desires, interests, and intentions, and "harassing" women.
That's half of the reason why I wrote Mode One. When you exhibit Mode Two behavior and/or Mode Three behavior, you are essentially SPAM power that you should possess yourself.
It is great.
The only situation I'm hesitant to exhibit Mode One Behavior is in working situations. If I'm interacting with a woman who is my colleague, subordinate, client, etc, I stay away from expressing romantic interest and/or sexual advances.

My point being, only that like most things mode 1 behavior without a little discretion (like you point out in the workplace or in socially conservative circles) could potentially be problematic.
Yes of course, but then it would be a mistake to automatically assume that women always have our best interests at heart. Not to mention the fact that they often say one thing and feel another.

Used to be an old truism of womens behavior. "If a good looking guy approaches them, it sexual interest, if an ugly guy approaches them it's sexual harassment".

This can have ramifications. Of course if your completely independent, or outside of your social circle you needn't worry so much about it. But how many of us have the ability to turn our backs if our direct advances and our overt sexuality isn't perceived positively. Perception trumps reality and intention. And we all know every guy has the best intentions when it comes to expressing sexual interest in a female.

Ok well, obviously not. Unfortunately Ms. Sugarpants isn't that naive.

I realize things can be somewhat different in a large cosmopolitan city such as Chicago, compared to a relatively socially conservative area in the deep south.
I'm just saying that a little discretion, within the social context is always a good idea.

But then I think you touch on that as well. And of course discretion and common sense is the responsibility of the user. If this is mode 2 behavior, then so be it.
You can't control the perception of the recipient. Or their reaction to it.
Sure, everybody wants to rule the world.

I've found the Mode 1 materials to be quite helpful, and worthwhile study.
The only problem is, if we were all open and upfront about our sexuality nobody would get any work done.
Yes of course.

There's a way to do it, but it involves an indirect and unprovable approach. It's clearly Mode 2.

Ahh, the power of ambiguity. If she's into you she'll know exactly what you're talking about. But then perhaps she's in mode 4. Hey that's an idea, you're next book should be for women.

Remember the old saying about not playing where you get your pay. And sometimes your pay can be directly related to your social reputation.

Well down here in the bible belt we have another old saying.. "The church has ears".

And where do you think they get all that money?

Still a lot of social pressure on young women. I think they call it morals and values and it's not always such a bad thing (ever seen an episode of cops or Jerry Springer?). Thing's are a changin', but are still in the middle ages, or kept in the closet in many social circles and maybe that's the whole premise behind your book in a nutshell.

And if I didn't act with at least some discretion I risk damaging her public reputation as well as mine. Which can have ramifications far beyond whether I will get laid tonight, or not.

Claire's original point is a very good one. And Mode 1 is an integral part of it, and highly descriptive of effective communication itself. It's a useful addition to any guys library.

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http://youtube.com/watch?v=4ufa-q7DcWM

"The difference between Me, You and Everyone" by XFMAN

To: PUA Community

My community, the PUA community; a happy community in which every member help each other, a community for self development and improvement.

A community is a social group of organisms sharing an environment, normally with shared interests. In human communities, intent, belief, resources, preferences, needs, risks and a number of other conditions may be present and common, affecting the identity of the participants and their degree of cohesiveness.

The word community is derived from the Latin communitas (meaning the same), which is in turn derived from communis, which means "common, public, shared by all or many"

Thanks wiki for putting this definition... I just can believe what this community has become in this few months and that includes YOU, I don't care if your a mPUA, your Mystery or your an AFC or just a new guy, if your part of this community this concern you !!

I don't know what to say, whats going on? whats all this search for building up fake Egos, fake personalities, this continues fight for being the AMOG or should I say the Alpha Male of the Community. This is going on in forums, blogs and Lairs.

Let me tell you something this community is built by every member, this community therefore depends on each member.

There are different PUA schools, we have MM, DD, RJ and the list goes on and on, the reason we have these many schools is because there is a difference between ME, YOU and EVERYONE; we all are different, we all have different reasons, we all have different ideas, we all have different techniques but we are here because we knew there was something to improve, fix or change.

There is no "best method" the only best method you can find is the one you like , the one that fit your characteristics. I have seen guys using C&F and NLP, guys using MM and Prizeability, there isn't a correct combination , there isn't a correct way or method.

To be direct or indirect, to call after 2 or call the next day...

If you find your own method, If you find that using C&F with some M3 works for you then go ahead, If you find that being as natural as you can works for you then go ahead. But that doesn't mean that you are right and everyone is wrong.

One guy showed me a video of a guy saying he goes straight to a lady and says he wants to be her love toy and he gets laid most of the time. LEt me tell you something , you don't have to take a side, that might work for him , why don't you try it and see if that works for you too, if it doesn't then you know.

Share your experience but don't become a close mind and become a Social Robot.

There are many things i could say to YOU, I might have been in the wrong track for many years and I just realized it, I might have done all the mistakes a PUA could make, and I could list them but that will not do it.

I can't do it for you... The AFC wants to be a PUA, there is a catch in all this things, The PUA is an ARTIST !!! You have to become a Social Artist you share your art and you don't care what other think about your art or if they think ti is art or not... YOU DON?T CARE BECAUSE YOU KNOW IT IS ART and you should be enjoying being a PU ARTIST !!! because this is your DREAM and the only way it will be true is that you start from the inside to the outside...

Stop Complaining, Stop trying to be recognized, Stop building your Ego around a bunch of guys because when they are gone you will have nothing, build yourself for you !! There is nothing better than being YOURSELF FOR YOURSELF.

I Could go back and tell you how many mistakes I have done, but I know that those mistakes were the best lessons someone could teach me.

"The end has no end."

Success, XF.


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I hope you enjoyed it, and I post this to tell everyone that arguing about which method is better is a waste of time.

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My website: www.pualife.webs.com

New TWITTER account: http://twitter.com/xfman1

Facebook: xf_pua@hotmail.com

Amen

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Perception is Reality

There's are some Good questions being asked to Alan
as well as Good responses given back

Awesome

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I'm almost as sweet as lemon juice... almost