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okay too many spelling errors, a bit confusing, this is the latest edited version:
Mistakes guys make at the club:
1.- Hanging out with too many guys: I recommend you hang out with a maximum of one other guy. It is better to be alone as women will be less intimidated and may even approach you (This happens to me all the time). If you are going to the club with a group of guy friends make sure that everyone meets at the club in separate cars. The reason you should do this is when you hook up with an hb and your wing or friends don’t they will pressure you to leave early or take them back killing the chances of taking your target home. Make sure that if you do hang out with a guy or group of guys that have no game or do not project higher value, in some instances they may simultaneously lower your own value in the eyes of your target and her friends, guilt by association. Moreover, when there are too many guys it creeps women out, it looks like a pack of ravenous wolves trying to pray on a rabbit. Generally, I prefer to game alone but sometimes I have a wingman that I meet at the club. However, if he is having an off night, or his value is being lowered by too many mistakes, I will move off and game alone.
2.- Parking.- A problem I frequently notice men make is standing stationary in the middle of the dance floor looking for targets. Doing this is creepy and lowers your value. You need to either park outside of the dance floor or you need to be moving through the club. I usually go to a corner or a spot outside of the dance floor and dance, then when they play a good song or I see a girl I like I approach her immediately.
3.- Looking at a girl multiple times: When you make eye contact with a girl, do not break eye contact, just go up to her and say: “How you are going to look at me like that and not say anything, come on lets dance” or better yet do not break eye contact at all and go up to her and dance. Do not stay where you are and stare at her multiple times, that is creepy and/or shows lack of confidence, try to use the 3 second rule,
THREE-SECOND RULE—noun: a guideline stating that a woman should be approached within three seconds of first seeing her. It is intended to prevent the man from thinking about the approach too much and getting nervous, as well as to keep him from creeping the woman out by staring at her for too long. Origin: Mystery.
4.- Grabbing or touching when opening: When you INITIALLY approach the girl do not grab her hand or touch her, the only exception to this rule is when they play Latin music, or Latin beats for example Shakira, Ricky Martin, Pit Bull, or Regeton. After you are in the set and pass the social hook point, you should escalate little by little.
5.-Chasing: Do not chase women around. When you are dancing with a girl and she walks away, just act neutral and keep dancing or open another girl or set. Frequently, women will try to shit test you by dancing with another guy; let her do it and do not chase after her: you are the prize. Regardless of how tempted you are to chase after her resist it! Remember: to get a girl you must be willing to lose a girl. As I said women have done this to me ALL THE TIME, and they end up coming back.
6.- Buying girl drinks and flowers: Do not buy girls drinks or flowers. If you have already made out with her and she is into you, then you may decide to go this route. Personally, I would advise no to buy drinks, unless you have made out with the girl and she is really into you and is not a shit test. Never buy her flowers under any circumstances, make your own napkin flowers (I will link some tutorials on how to do this later in the book). Buying drinks too early in the interaction is sending the message you are not good enough therefore let me buy you a drink so you can keep hanging out with me, comes across as too accommodating and overcompensating and may kill attraction. If a girl asks you to buy her a drink, tell her ”Of course. Do you have 10 dollars?” Most girls do not ask guys to buy a drink especially if they know the guy has game. Usually if a girl is hinting me after we made out that she wants to get a drink what I do is say “Go ahead. I will be right here since some times is a hint that she wants the interaction to be over or she wants to be isolated. If she goes to the bar and she wants me, or gives me indications that she wants me to join her, I go with her but I stay 5 steps back; I will behave as if I have no idea what is going on. I do not look at her, but instead give her my back and keep dancing till she has gotten and pay for the drink at that point she usually comes back to me.
7.- Failure to pick up on hints: Sometimes the girl will move away, stop dancing when you approach, or her friend will Hugh her dancing(rescue mechanism). Additionally, her body language may indicate that she/her group of friends want to be left alone. This is normal. No matter how good you get you cannot win them all. The problem that I see is guys staying there like idiots, or do not get the hints and worst follow them around after they move to another place to dance. If you are with your wing and the girls reject you, by Hugh dancing the girl, you can do the same shit with your wing while giving them the back: the girls will be embarrassed and is kind of funny.
8.- Being too aggressive or not being aggressive: You need a balance of push pull. Turn her on, but also pull back a bit, then go back to turning her on then pull back, but do not make the mistake of being all over her to a point that she feels violated. Watch my dancing videos. I will demonstrate the correct way to do this while dancing. Your goal, when dancing, is to escalate as much as possible and to make out with the girl while at the same time the hb is having a really good time.
9.- Failure to engage the group: If she is with a group of men and women, you have to engage the whole group. I do this by dancing with everybody including the guys (no gay shit but like grabbing hand and jump in back and forth in hip hop/reggae or like friendly bumping with hard core hip hop and hard rock for example, not amoging) or encouraging everybody to dance and high fiving.
10.-Approaching difficult sets: If you see that the girls are overly into themselves or are in their on world rejecting people left and right it is best to avoid. If they are in a committed relationship, or you saw the group and they were into another guy(s), who just went to the bar and is coming back, approach other sets that are not as complicated. With that being said, approach everybody I am just saying that in the choice of difficult sets vs. easy sets, I recommend going with the easier set first.
11. - Fighting- I am a martial artist and speaking from experience, there will be incidents where guys will try to fight you. Girls can be equally crazy wanting to fight because you bumped into each other, or you are trying to dance with their girlfriend. Regardless, do not fight under any circumstances! Not only will it lower your value, you will be banned from the club, the bouncers will beat the crap out of you, then you will get arrested, and pay a bail bond of $5000.00 on top of spending a night in jail. Just ignore them and leave.
12.- Leaning in: No matter how loud the music in the club is, do not lean in to talk to a woman. Your back should be straight as a wall. You must avoid leaning in even if the music is loud. This includes lowering your head. Your head and back should always stay straight when talking. If she wants to talk, cup her ear (so it is not so loud that you two are screaming, and talk), but try not to talk, if you do, remember to avoid leaning in.
13. – Approaching from behind: I do not recommend approaching a woman with her back turned to you, because this is what every other loser does. There is nothing original or unique about this approach. Additionally, she has to turn around to see who is talking to her, and if you get rejected it will look really bad and lower your value to other potential targets/groups. The exeption to the rule is when she saw you anticipates that you are coming behind her after giving you iois, the most common one looking at you while fixing her hair and proximity to where you are or bumping you on purpose or subtle. The second exception is booty music with younger crowd.
14. - Bumping the girl, or dancing back (her booty) to back (your booty): Shows lack of confidence and again what every other loser does, it may work and some puas do it, but in my style of club game I do not recommend it cause it shows that you are not confident, man enough to come up to them from the front. The exception to the rule when she has giving you the iois, but again no my style.
15. - Asking the girl to dance: Do not ask girls if they want to dance. If they tell you they no do not want to dance do not beg. Worst still is after she has said no, asking her friends to dance. What do you think they are going to say? With this group there will be NO TALKING! NO CONVERSATION, NO PICK UP LINES, NO OPENERS, NO OFFERING DRINKS, SPECIALLY ON LADIES NIGHT (free drinks).
16.- Having too much high energy or too low energy: Your energy level has to be slightly higher than the set you are opening, too much high energy and the set will think you are a loony. Low energy you will lose you the set because you are a buzz kill.
17. - Being a Dancing Monkey: I see excellent dancers in Clubs, who can hold the attention of the whole club but do not get any girls. Alternately, if they are with girls, those women will only be their friends. These guys never or hardly ever hook up. Do not be a dancing monkey. From time to time, I will go into the middle of the dance circle or dance flashy to call attention to myself from nearby hot women. Doing this is a DHV. However, I never do this for more than a minute or two. Then I run my regular club game.
18.- Getting too drunk: I do not recommend drinking, if you do drink, drink only enough to loosen up. Heavy or even moderate drinking will fuck up your game, get you into fights, and get you in trouble. Drinking in bars or clubs is also expensive.
19. - Long term memory: You have to be like an NFL quarterback after throwing an interception (Brett Favre) for example, you need short term memory, if you get rejected, or things do not go your way, you need to forget about it IMMEDIATELY, and move on. But you need to go return to a confidence, fun, cool state. Do not over-analyze: what did I do wrong? Why she ditch me? Maybe I am ugly. This includes all that negative shit we put in our heads. You need a strong inner game. Believe it or not the best guru for inner game in my opinion is a Pastor by the name of Joel Osteen. I recommend getting his books, and watching his television shows.
20.- Lack of Calibration: CALIBRATE—verb: to read the verbal and nonverbal responses of a person or group and accurately deduce what they are thinking or feeling at that moment. Origin: Richard Bandler and John Grinder. Let me illustrate with couple of examples: One time I met a girl that had not gone out to a club in more than 15 years because she was married, and just got out of the relationship. She was struggling financially due to the bad economy, was into me and wanted to take me home. We were having a good time, till she asked me to buy her a drink, I went into pua mode and I said: Do you know who I am? I do not buy girls drinks, they buy me drinks. Then I told her to go back with her friends I had to go. In that example all I showed is that I was a jerk off and a cheap ass, when I called her 3 days later no response, and I guarantee you that night she wanted a SNL.
Another example is this one from the pua forum from a member name phagan:
"A case in point from tonight - a 3 set. HB7s. I start dancing with one of the chicks, getting closer, closer... making out. Great. We dance for maybe 3-4 minutes, making out a few more times, I make sure to always be the one who breaks it off. She puts her hand under my shirt, she looks at me all seductive... it's on. Then she takes a step back and tells me "dance!", looking at the floor in front of me as if giving me instructions to "dance for her"... so I come closer to her and say "I don't take orders from anyone" and back off a little, still inside her air space, smiling, not angry or anything... just being my cool self, the same self she was making out with 20 seconds earlier. "
According to PUA rules/textbook, what he did was to follow his teachings. But as you can tell there is lack of calibration, all he had to do was to dance with the girl seductively, he blew up his chances.
cool, thanks for adding value to the post.
There are a few points in here that I am guilty of and now realise that everyone does this. Like bumping in, back to back dancing.. grabbing?
I always am very physical right from the start and start escalating quickly, which
is kind of like hit or miss, but if she let's you, you can take it pretty far. I'll adjust for a while and not grab / physical right of the opener and see what happens, but I do believe in escalating fast from the moment you start the escalating.
The only thing I don't like is the not talking part. I don't have real conversations, but I do say things to the girl while dancing. Sometimes with long breaks, but for me it's part of the fun. I agree not talking about stupid and boring stuff, but why not say some stuff that shows intent?
However I am open to try new stuff and will give this a go as well, it would be cool if you tried out dropping statements of intent next few times and share what you think after it.
With groups of girls in a circle I often did back to back dancing or bumping. Sometimes when I feel invincible I just jump in those start dancing ridiculous or go and stand as a part of the circle and try to convince the group to do a dance battle (which they almost never do :p) but it gives me an opportunity to be a "part of the circle" for a while and start talking to the girls next to me.
When you don't talk and don't grab or anything what's your method to open these groups?
I think I can rule out the girls passing the club as good people to approach. In my experience passing people have other things in their mind which they want to deal with first and are not in the vibe of being approached yet. Grabbing them usually gets an angry response and when talking to them they most often just keep on walking.
You were talking about videos you have, could you post them in this thread?
CHAT
, but still while i was dancing yesterday made eyecontact with some girls and in which got some great eye response and dancing from a far back. The only problem i have though is that like yesterday i dunno what to do if there are people around her or i dunno should i just be like fck it and go for it and talk to her. Because like yesterday i knew the girl was probably in to me but yet i didn't know what to do. any pointers on how to handle that?
