Guy interested in my girlfriend



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PostPosted: Wed Oct 19, 2011 10:57 pm 
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Wtf is wrong with y'all? He should FORBID her to see him? I checked the clock and I think it's 2011, not 1653 or whenever the fuck you people are from.

"So you think you can handle two boyfriends huh? Well, let's see how you make out ;)"

This is all you can do and this is how you tell her you have more value than her. Alternatively, you can chode out like everyone else and tell her implicitly that you really need her and how miserable you are going to be when she leaves you and continue to implicitly beg her (yes, beg her) to stay with you by asking her in whatever way not to see this guy.

Encourage her to do it.
I don't think telling her no or forbidding her is wrong. Everybody says this mumbo-jumbo about how it's showing weakness/lower value. But to me, the fact that you can tell her no and expect her to not do it implies that you have power - hell, the fact that she is asking you whether or not she can go implies that you have power in the relationship. It's about how you say it. Because begging her not to go would look weak. Basically, if you say no, and she does it anyways - you're weak.


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 19, 2011 11:23 pm 
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Wtf is wrong with y'all? He should FORBID her to see him? I checked the clock and I think it's 2011, not 1653 or whenever the fuck you people are from.

"So you think you can handle two boyfriends huh? Well, let's see how you make out ;)"

This is all you can do and this is how you tell her you have more value than her. Alternatively, you can chode out like everyone else and tell her implicitly that you really need her and how miserable you are going to be when she leaves you and continue to implicitly beg her (yes, beg her) to stay with you by asking her in whatever way not to see this guy.

Encourage her to do it.
I don't think telling her no or forbidding her is wrong. Everybody says this mumbo-jumbo about how it's showing weakness/lower value. But to me, the fact that you can tell her no and expect her to not do it implies that you have power - hell, the fact that she is asking you whether or not she can go implies that you have power in the relationship. It's about how you say it. Because begging her not to go would look weak. Basically, if you say no, and she does it anyways - you're weak.
x2

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PostPosted: Thu Oct 20, 2011 1:56 am 
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If you trust her, tell her to have fun.

If you don't trust her, tell her to stick around.

If you don't mind her fucking around, tell her to bring condoms.

If you don't like her fucking around, tell her to stick around.

But stop all of this, "I think I trust her but I don't want her to go but I should tell her to go because she will think I'm weak and blah blah blah." - She already saw right through your bs.

*A chick who is not interested at all doesn't go out one on one with some dude. They are not best friends since kids. They are not socially bound in any other way. The guy likes her and she's curious. I can't explain it but I can only tell you. Your response is an open invitation for her to fuck. I've been the other guy more times than I can tell you. Of course, it's up to her . . .but, a girl who is not interested at all does not go out with an another guy. I've known plenty girls, even great female friends, who will absolutely not go out with me because they're in a relationship. This is simply due to respect for their boyfriends. Boy, chicks really dig being chased don't they?


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 20, 2011 2:09 am 
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UPDATE:
He is not a goodlooking guy. I realised I was facebook stalking the wrong person...
Now that I remember, I've met the guy. He couldn't hold eye contact and was laughing at all her jokes. He was actually fat.

False alarm people.
Mack - she wanted to hang out with him because he has been begging her for a long time and that's the person she is. I know this because she had a lesbian girl interested in her (who she HATED), yet she still hangs out with her once every two months because she honestly feels bad to say "fuck you".

No, I won't next her because currently our relationship is near perfect - and apart from this (which I dismiss as an issue now) there have been no complexities whatsover.

Good news is, she said something along the lines of "look I thought about how I would feel if you were hanging out one-on-one with a girl. So I decided to invite other people to hang out as well" - so now rather than this fat guy trying to 99%-probably-unsuccessfully attempting to build intimacy one-on-one with the babe, there are now 3 others who she invited along, including me. A decision which I'm happy she considered.

Kasabi I don't think the hanging out one-on-one means shes interested applies to this guy. It just wouldn't make any sense - he is the biggest (literally too) afc anyone has ever met. He is an AFC like a boss. And no, I'm not even exaggerating that description to make myself feel better.
She has known him for about 5 years, which might explain why she considered it in the first place.


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 20, 2011 6:55 am 
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Quote:
UPDATE:
He is not a goodlooking guy. I realised I was facebook stalking the wrong person...
Now that I remember, I've met the guy. He couldn't hold eye contact and was laughing at all her jokes. He was actually fat.

False alarm people.
Mack - she wanted to hang out with him because he has been begging her for a long time and that's the person she is. I know this because she had a lesbian girl interested in her (who she HATED), yet she still hangs out with her once every two months because she honestly feels bad to say "fuck you".

No, I won't next her because currently our relationship is near perfect - and apart from this (which I dismiss as an issue now) there have been no complexities whatsover.

Good news is, she said something along the lines of "look I thought about how I would feel if you were hanging out one-on-one with a girl. So I decided to invite other people to hang out as well" - so now rather than this fat guy trying to 99%-probably-unsuccessfully attempting to build intimacy one-on-one with the babe, there are now 3 others who she invited along, including me. A decision which I'm happy she considered.

Kasabi I don't think the hanging out one-on-one means shes interested applies to this guy. It just wouldn't make any sense - he is the biggest (literally too) afc anyone has ever met. He is an AFC like a boss. And no, I'm not even exaggerating that description to make myself feel better.
She has known him for about 5 years, which might explain why she considered it in the first place.
these sort of details (in the first post, lol) can be helpful.

totally diff situation.

good luck.

_________________
what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 20, 2011 9:07 am 
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Yeah lol, that's really true.
Needed more intel :P

Alright no more replies are needed as far as this post goes - thanks everyone!


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 20, 2011 9:57 am 
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i would just say "meh, do what the fuck you want" and go game other chicks.
Uh yeah. That's what I said he should do but I left out the part about gaming other chicks.


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 20, 2011 11:50 am 
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Yeah just to raise something here

I don't really understand that mentality when it comes to actual relationships. I used to, but now it doesn't make sense.

Let me explain that a little better lol
My ex used to try make me jealous by flirting with other guys. I broke up with her on the spot and went out and f-closed 4 times in 2 months, which was HUGE considering I was a virgin before that.
It felt good. Real good, I was getting women who weren't wasting my time.

Then I met this girl, and really like her. Her behavior is not really too negatively radical like my ex, and this is the only stumble in moral she has had so far in our relationship, which she corrected. I don't believe in "The One" - fuck no. There are hundreds of millions of girls who are pretty and nice and easy to get along with.

But when you find a girl who you have a true emotional connection to, and she isn't behaving badly - why would you give her up after one minor slight?
Understand I am very strict with that sort of viewpoint too, mind you. If a girl cheats, or flirts with another guy more than once (ya know, when it is obviously inappropriate), I will break up.

But me nexting this girl because she nearly hung out with a guy - giving up what could potentially continue to be a seriously awesome relationship - isn't that a little iunno...extreme? It seems to be the way most people on this forum think and I don't really get it.

I say forgive a little if you like the girl. Every relationship is going to have some issues - but by giving up immediately, although you will logically save time and quickly mate with another, you could be missing out on something bigger.
Unless of course you want to find a girl who makes no errors ever/constantly seeks your approval/all that other "optimum condition" shit.


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 20, 2011 12:50 pm 
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I think the whole nexting thing came from the fact that (before you knew he was a chode) your girlfriend new he was dodgy/creepy and still willing to hangout with him.

There is a line between insecurity and disrespect. And f*ck it, while your putting your time, energy and resources into your relationship, why not get a little respect?

Peace


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