I've been a bit off a lurker in this section for a while now and you guys have some really good posters. I'm hoping a few of you can give me some constructive advice and reflect this onto others who are in a similar situation, because I feel there are a lot.

Mainly what I want to cover is the desire to build yourself as a person and succeed. Several of us, including myself, feel as though they have outgrown their current friends and are fustrated in the notion of creating and aquiring new social circles. Firstly, I feel as though an introduction is needed. I'm currently 20 yrs old, going to college in Saskatoon (2nd year), and just recently starting practicing PU seriously.

I feel as though I'm in a huge rut. Stop. Ask yourself how many people are in your life that you truly and genuinely care about. How many of those people could you have a discussion and seek advice from on a very personal level? How many of those people feel the same way towards you? For myself the answer is zero. Friendship is an overrated thing, in my humble opinion. Now, I'm not saying it isn't valuable, because it is arguably the most valuable thing one can aquire. No, I'm saying true friendship is incredibly hard to find and keep.

Take a moment to realize and reflect on your relationships.

I judge the value of other people by what they can bring into my life and how they value me. I'm not one thats hard to talk to or meet people. But lasting friendhsips seem hard to come by. My current social circles consist of pot abusers and low lifes. The worst part is that I realize this and usually if not always have a negative experience when I hang out with them. The problem is that I'm not getting invited to do things anywhere else. I've completely reduced the time I spend going to bars although on Sunday I went with two friends. Heres the jist of it:

Went to a buddies apartment, watched some TV, smoked a bowl, went to the club. When we were at the club I was opening people with no real success, every chick had her bitch shields up which is why I stopped going in the first place. Meanwhile the two guys I came with would just stand in the corner or go out for a smoke. Any conversation going on between the three of us went something like "I'm going to get a drink" or "do you see any place to sit". Typical routine boring conversation. This repeated all night until I left.

I've also decided to stop drinking, or minimize it to only on occasion. Usually with the people I hang out with it will play out something similar to this:

Guy: Hey, what are you gonna get to drink?
Me: Just water for now, I'm not drinking tonight.
Guy: Pussy

So with interactions like this I've come to the conclusion the people I associate with are clowns. I feel as though there is tonnes of opportunity out there and experiences that are slowly but surely slipping away from me. When I take a look at their lifestyle, it's one that makes me cringe. Substance abusers, no attractive women in their life whatsoever and just generally poor social skills. I see people who are clueless, non progressive, and without direction. My patience with them has run dry, hoping they'd wake up and start living to no avail.

To get down to the nuts and bolts of this.

Easiest way to get into more social groups? Join more clubs and student societies. I've done this, infact I'm crazy busy and my schedule is piled on. I can't seem to push casual interaction into new friendships. What should a guy do in terms of exchanging numbers and finding out whats going on during the weekends?

How do you guys manage facebook? I literally get zero to very little facebook interaction. Friend everyone you meet? Delete it cause it's a non-constructive use of your time?

How do you manage friends who clown you or treat you with disrespect when your in the vacinity of others? Should I just soft next all of them? That would be close to everyone I know.

What are the easiest ways people connect with like minds?

I'm gonna continue to add to this and if you guys have anything to add in feel free. All advice is appreciated. Also I know alot of this might seem like immature AFC rant, but fuck it, I need to get it out there. I'm sure there are some others out there who are fustrated and desire a more exciting and successful lifestyle.





Best,

Dirty

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“Change does not roll in on the wheels of inevitability, but comes through continuous struggle. And so we must straighten our backs and work for our freedom. A man can't ride you unless your back is bent.”

Dirty, I'm pretty new here as well but I've experienced what you're feeling. My oldest group of childhood freinds turned into huge antisocial pot smokers. Hell, I did too for about 8 months when I realized I needed to get a handle on my life.

I had to literally move cities to get a fresh start, which I sense isn't an option for you, but there's still stuff you can do. When I moved out to the bay area I knew I wanted to meet other guys with the express goal of improving themselves as much as I wanted to improve myself.

That was my only qualification. I didn't care if they had similar interests, personalities, or whatever. I just knew they had to have that fire burning deep inside. And as shitty as the people you describe sound for personal growth, I'm sure there's got to be SOME chill guys and girls out your way.

You'll know it when you see it; game recognize game. When you meet someone like that be genuine about it- "hey you seem really cool, lets grab a drink/food sometime."

I'll do this in the gym- any time I see a super jacked guy that's pushing serious weight I make a point to approach him for 2-3 minutes after my workout and just ask him for any advice he's willing to give. Find people doing what you want to do and pick their brain.

A couple quick facebook tips for ya- make a point to reach out to one aquaintance per day and just say hi, see how things are going, shit send them a funny cat picture for all that matters. Just make a point to connect with anyone deserving of your time once or twice a day. Nobody will react badly to that sort of thing.

I moved away from my primary social circle for 8 months, and while I was gone the occasional facebook post or poke made it seem like we were still hanging out when we couldn't normally. Now facebook is NO replacement for real social interaction, but it is a tool for maintaining old and long distance relationships relatively easily.

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