Hi,

I got a problem. I never had a real gf. The longest I was with a girl were 6 weeks. And in this time and with every other girl, it was all about the sex, even before I got into the game. Don´t get me wrong: I think about sex a lot, i get stimulated so fast. But I really want to do the teenagerstuff, like holding hands, kissing softly, hugging without the intention of having sex, just as a human sign, a sensibel contact....and I really wanna have a relationship, where Iam seen and heard.
I really dont know how to communicate that, cos to me it seems girls get turned off by that, think im a loser or they r not interessted in me.
I mean it messes up my whole game, cos the game teaches like kino a lot, talk about sex, get her as soon as possible in bed, so she can flake at u and is afraid of being just a bitch, an onenightstand....I made my experience and a lot of the pua-stuff works.
But I never feel like I am in contact and connected with her. To me it seems like, I should wait with sex. But how should I talk and flirt with women then and if she is hot, why should she stay, cos there r so many on the first view exciting dicks trying to get her.
Does anybody understand where Im coming from and what r the advises?

I'd say dates. And what I mean by that is do dates that create BONDING and don't intend to fuck her after. Don't focus on "trying to get her in your bed" because you obviously don't have a problem with getting girls in your bed. So try the other stuff. A fun thing to do, well at least, I found it fun, is to go to a park with lots of people. And this girl and I basically started assuming what these other people were talking to each other about. And creating a whole story line based on how they were positioned next to each other. But stuff that makes you TALK more. (BTW you can learn a lot on how someone views relationships based on how they describe one of the persons viewpoint on "how theyre doing" if its a couple). But when you say holding hands do you not hold hands? That just seems like a definite always... but maybe that's just what I do.

I like ur idea. I will try!

The thing is, I get nervous around women. I also do not perform great in bed. It seems to me I rush, because I am afraid she will dump me.
I really wanna enjoy myself and relax while being with a woman. But I dont know which parts of myself I can show. I always feel like I have to hide. Of course I got the wussy in me and I do not want to bother her with that guy...but there r so many other different emotions, I really do not know if I should show them and when?? I know I got a minoritycomplex and I also know the reasons, but does that a girl really wanna know? Earlier I thought I have to get laid before I even could consider talking about that, but I doubt it...it never feels right. I also do not understand so many clichees. To me girls, woman want more sex than men... they just do not show it like men. They also always think, if the sex is good, the relationship is good...but it could be the other way around.

Well I´d like to continue.
I hope if someone can relate to what I am saying, he shares his ideas and experiences.

One more thing: Before I got in to the game, I got insane by the questions girls used to ask: When was ur last relationship and how long was it? I felt so bad, ashamed...I had no good answer to that.
Then I started the game and this question didnt bother me a lot, because my mission was to get laid quickly and see what happens from there on. But I was just ignoring that conflict.
Now when I want to wait more time before we have sex, again I am afraid of this question. I mean, of course she is allowed to ask that - I´d find it even rare, if she doesnt wanna know. But what could I possibly be answering. Which pretty and hot girl can stand the truth or doesn´t mind????
I know David D. says, if u r a virgin, don´t tell it, cos u screw ur chances. But what about the relationship-question. It is a big problem for me. I got some new friends and through them I get to know some girls. What if a girl likes me and she asks me.... First I do not want get dumped because of that, cos it will hurt a lot. SEcond I don´t want my friends to be informed, cos I am afraid they will loose their respect for me or even worse they start avoiding me. Please no advise like: If they r ur friends they can deal with that, if not, they were never ur friends. This sounds good but is not practical. I prefer to have these "halffriends" than not having any friends at all.

I was close for 2 years with a girl but we never had sex or where in relationship. We just spent a lot of time. If an actual date asks me, should I refer to the situations I had with that other girl and pretending she was my gf?? That is somehow a half lie or full lie, but it could save me or I perform again bad in bed, cos again I am hiding. Or should I tell girls the truth???

Man, here is not much going on. Aren´t here some more experienced members or organisers, who can comment.....otherwise it sux and it is frustrating!

Tell them you dont kiss and tell. They love it.