Made myself too available, where do I go from here???



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PostPosted: Sun Oct 09, 2011 3:21 am 
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So for all of you who have been following my story, I met this flaky girl, we went on 3 dates so far (all at a bar, lol, although she was always sober). Last night we met up at a bar, and I decided to start showing a lot of interest by kissing her; she reciprocated.

At the end of the evening, we went to her place and made out passionately for an hour. It was so awesome, WOW. she was telling me that she wanted me to come over for breakfast the next day, and she wanted to see my place on Sunday. I told her she was pretty when we were kissing, and everything was going great. I texted her when I got home calling her "sweetie."

The next morning she cancels breakfast. I text her the following:

Me:"I would like to see her again, shall we make plans to see each other in the afternoon?"
Her: "Yes"
Me: Let's see a movie today at 3.
Her (4 hours later): this evening is probably better
Me: Let's go out to bar X. I can pick you up at 8? :)
Her: I am not feeling so well
Me: No worries. Get better soon!!
Her: Idk, maybe we can go see a movie. I will see how I feel. I will text you later.
Me: That's cool! Talk to you then!


I haven't heard from her since, but obviously the "I am not feeling so well" part was a lie. Obviously, I put too much interest in her, but I was thinking that since she was so into me, it is safe to be more assertive (cause I really like her, and when a girl likes a guy, no games are necessary).


F***, where do I go from here? Obviously I cannot text her or I will reek of desperation. Should I just go NC for a while till she contacts me again?


Thanks in advance, everyone! I truly appreciate everyone's input. Thanks a million!!!


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PostPosted: Sun Oct 09, 2011 3:50 am 
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wooo! Hahahahaha
you made out for an hour and didnt have sex?
I rarely prolong the kiss more than a minute when i am not going to have sex with them. I would say you escalated but you didnt escalate the right way thus causing a bit of weirdness that she felt and as a response to that weirdness she is behaving a bit strange. She want to see you but is not comfortable. I would say dont push for the meet up for a day or two and build comfort on phone then again get her out and please don't do an hour of making out without sex :D Lead her, lets do this, lets do that, lets go to (sex location) there get her warmed up and horny, make out, rubbing, dirty talk, and remove your clothes first, she can reject your move when you try to take her clothes off but she cant stop you from taking off your own clothes and then when you are naked.... Just lead dude

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PostPosted: Sun Oct 09, 2011 4:06 am 
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Hey, thanks Khuram,


I suppose that I am feeling like a doormat as she threw out that silly lie about "not feeling well." She said she was gonna text me at a certain hour and never texted me.

Thanks for your advice man. Any advice for building up comfort again? I am starting to micro analyze the evening. For instance, she said she was lonely sometimes and then I said I was too (due to living in a city without family). I try to keep everything positive, but I was really tired and had a bit too much to drink.

I am seriously sensing that she pushed away today! F*** all that work!


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PostPosted: Sun Oct 09, 2011 4:23 am 
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hahahahahahaha. Lol
what happened dude? Nothing. A situation got a bit out of hand. Hahahaha
man she didnt do anything, you didnt do anything. Its life where you have to face different situations, sometimes easy, sometimes hard, and thats fun. Would you want the life to be same always? It would be so boring.
First of all assume attraction, "she loves me, she wants to be with me" believe in it so that it is subcommunicated to her. Next dont think about how much you fucked up, how she is flakey. Think about her liking you, her wanting to be with you. Clean whatever the shit happened out of your mind as it never happened. Next time when you start chatting with her chat with the mindset,"she likes me and nothing happened. She is a fun girl who want to be with me and i am going to have good time with her and share lots of laughs" having that mindset would automatically do most of the right things. Chat with her and talk about various topics, get to know about her likes and dislikes, share yours, emphasize on the points that both of you have the same. That would build comfort.

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PostPosted: Sun Oct 09, 2011 4:56 am 
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I haven't heard from her yet; granted she has a life, but she said she would contact me 3 hours ago. lol The last thing I want to do is come across as needy at this point. Damn, I should have closed!!!!!! F*** lol! She is totally my type as well (physically that is). DAMN!!! lol


Btw, great points about reestablishing comfort. :P

Should I wait a few days before contacting her again? What if she doesn't text me? I logged onto MY facebook page where I get everyone's status, and she was out and about at some location. In other words, she did lie to me about her not feeling well! :( I am in for a challenge here guys!


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PostPosted: Sun Oct 09, 2011 5:23 am 
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Hahahaha! Forgive me that i cant stop laughing, actually i have dealt with situations like this so many times that i rarely happens now but when it happens or i hear about it, i burst out laughing. Lol
you need to get your inner game fixed. You hold yourself responsible for girl's behaviour.Girl flaked,"i fucked it up" girl ignored you,"fuck, i am a loser, a doorment". Never do that. Girls have a lot of shit that affects their behaviour and it has got nothing to do with you. You have to learn to stay cool, calm and detached when it happens. You have to learn to game as nothing is happening even though its fucking your head. Its their shit, let them handle it and get normal. Dont let yourself get attached to their behaviour. It would affect your game badly. Remember,"there is nothing wrong with you, their behaviour is the result of their own negative thinking. Dont fucking care about it"
and she told you that she would contact you after three hours. Kool. But what are you waiting for? Get online or go out and game some girls or do some other stuff. If she texts you, kool otherwise you can text her when you get free and share how much fun you had doing blah blah blah.
If she doesnt text you, that is no big deal as you can text her anytime (in this case wait atleast one day)
if she lied to you about not being well, then what you gonna do? Cry? Why dont you go out with friends and have lot of fun and then post the pics and event details at your fb?
And how about she went to that location to a relatives house or to consult a doctor?

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PostPosted: Sun Oct 09, 2011 5:38 am 
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That is very true; I feel much better now - thanks man! And to your question, the location was a popular event! I am definitely going to focus on my inner game and just keep my mind off of thinking about her for a few days.


I was thinking that perhaps she felt pressured and started feeling uncomfortable with things happening too fast (not sexually but rather psychologically, i.e., commitment, relationship, etc). Maybe she was just looking for some unattached fun? lol




:twisted:


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PostPosted: Sun Oct 09, 2011 6:08 am 
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kool but again may be she was really not feeling well but her friends forced her to go. See this is such a big shit :D and never talk about commitment or tell her that you love her in the early stages of the game. If she is the first one to bring up these topics then its ok to talk about it otherwise no. If you notice, her behaviour and the way she talks about things, would clearly tell you what she is looking for and then you can calibrate your game accordingly

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PostPosted: Sun Oct 09, 2011 6:22 am 
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That is very true! I will see how it develops. I am new to the whole dating scene since I broke up with my ex, and it was just so nice to go out with a cute girl and have fun. I have definitely overanalyzed this!! :)


Any recommendations for how to work on my inner game?


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PostPosted: Sun Oct 09, 2011 6:35 am 
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there is a lot of inner game information scatered on the web. I would recommend you to read gamblers ,"natural game" ebook. You can get it free at www.scribd.com and many other sites too. This book has some great inner game advise. Read it first before i recommend you anything else. Read, obsorb, apply then again read, obsort, apply.

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PostPosted: Sun Oct 09, 2011 6:41 am 
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Thank you so much for your help! :D


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PostPosted: Sun Oct 09, 2011 6:44 am 
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my vote? :D

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PostPosted: Sun Oct 09, 2011 6:50 am 
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Done :D


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PostPosted: Sun Oct 09, 2011 6:57 am 
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hahahahaha. thanks

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PostPosted: Sun Oct 09, 2011 4:31 pm 
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Still no text; is she trying to tell me indirectly to back off or what? How do I implement a push/pull to my situation? I feel that I perhaps showed too much interest in her and I need to back off.


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