Hey guys - I've recently started sleeping with a girl from my group of friends which I hang out with (Shitting on your own door step I know) but she is a HB9 and really cool. She lives on Campus whereas I live off(but have a car to make it easy), and it's all a secret to our immediate friends who we both hang out with pretty much everyday.

I've known her for like a year but she has recently joined our group of friends, who all know her well now, so she isn't going anywhere from the group any time soon.

But now we are sleeping with each other (2 times in 4 nights now), I'd like to keep her as a FB and keep it secret, a girl in the group really wouldn't like it if it was known, not that she likes me, she just views the HB9 as 'Her Friend' and it's just not worth the hassle of her finding out.

So I want to keep this going, first real FB that I like and want to carry on with more than a few times, are there any real 'not to do's' that I should watch out for? (This girl really doesn't want a relationship so that's not an issue but if I'm too keen she'd probably turn off which would suck but life would move on).

Thanks in advance.

I think youve really just answered your own question. Come on too strong and she'll run away. Keep in mind though that this is eventually going to come to an end, and with such a tight group you'd be wise to keep that in mind.

The main issues that you want to avoid or sort out in advance are logistical. Who calls who, who's place, does she spend the night etc. Keep in mind in these sorts of relationships, feelings are the enemy. You cant control hers but you can control your own. Know what sort of relationship (ie. casual) that you both signed up for, and dont try and change this to something more. And be prepared to deal with her feelings too, as emotionless as girls think they can be, it rarely lasts.

Hey Phate

Just got out of this sort of thing myself so I've got a few things to say on what not to do .

You've got to find a balance between being a decent person to her (i.e. you're not just in it for the whole whenever you fancy sex you get it concept) and remaining friends for as long as possible. Its likely that eventually that it will tip you one way or the other eventually where you go from there is up to you.

What I found was cool was keeping it isolated to each others houses, while still eating and doing something social like watching a film before screwing around. It maintains comfort and also helps maintain the secret bit to it, my problem was having her SPAM find out who veered mine off me(still mates just no sex).

Resist the temptation to justify talk to her about what it is your doing, I felt that I had to talk to the girl about the whole fuck buddies thing in order to maintain it. Apparently labelling it makes it more taboo, seriously the day after we established we were "sex friends" she decided she wasn't up for that sort of thing at the moment... despite screwing for the last month. You're probably both aware of what the relationship is. Let her talk about it first and if you like what you hear keep rolling with it.

Hope this helps, have fun

R&B

be carefull when all your other friends are involved. i had a fb that always said she never wanted anything further but after a year and a half she couldnt accept the fact that i really didnt want anything more. and she turned all our mutual friends against me. i guess age came into it also, her being a fair bit older than me

I don't really want to get into such a situation. Girls can be so confusing in these types of times. If I ever find myself in this situation I'm asking for a straight up answer. No games. After we do the deed a few times of course haha.

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