So, after reading a couple, I finally decided to start my own Journal. It won’t be the most active or interesting, but I figured I may as well share it, and hopefully, I can gain insight, from others, on what i’m doing wrong and so on.

I should start by stating that I have a severe case of not only AA, but shyness in general. I have suffered from it for my whole life.

Anyway..

The Taxi Ride

So, today was shocking! In fact, I had just been on the forum before I left for school in the morning. I kept thinking to myself. ‘Wow. I’ve been reading what people say on the forum so much, it’s practically implanted into my brain. There is no way I can forget this stuff now! Argh. I’m sure if I was put in a predicament where it was just me and a girl, and no one else,(competition is what puts me off immensely) I could surely have a successful conversation. I just need that chance!’ And sure enough, the Pick Up God from above must’ve heard my cry for help.
Later that day, after i’d finished school, I walked to the petrol station in order to catch a cab. However, when I got one, there was a girl that also needed one. It turned out that she lived just a couple minutes away from me. So, I very hesitantly but eagerly asked if she’d like to be dropped off on the way to mine. After a small protest, she finally agreed.
So there we were. Her and I, in the back of a cab. A HB7. The chance and the girl that I had been asking for this whole time. Right there in front of me. This was it. Make or break time. I’m handed with the perfect opportunity, and I let it slip between my fingertips.
(Fortunately) I’m unable to remember everything that was said during that seemingly endless journey. But I will do my best.
Background information: It turns out, that we have quite a lot of mutual friends, and we both go to somewhat rival schools.

Her: Thanks for offering to drop me off.
Me: Oh, no worries. (Smile)
Me: So, what school do you go to?
Her: [her school]. We’re kinda like rivals aren’t we? (Laughs)
Me: (hesitant laugh and nod) Yeah, we are..
Her: And..you’re in sixth form right?
Me: Yeah, year 12. And you?
Her: Yep, year 13 though. (As if I couldn’t be any more nervous)
Me..Do you like your school?
Her: Actually, it’s not too bad. The teachers are nice, and everyone else is friendly. But the food at the canteen is pretty shit..
Me: Hey, at least you guys have a common room! (yes, our school is so efficient, it decided to take down our common room, to make one more science block)
Her: Oh yeah! I heard about that! That must suck..
Me: (Laugh) Yeah, it really does.
Me: So, what subjects did you take for A-Level?
Her: Erm..Economics, Physics, Maths, Further maths.
Me: Ohh. You’re one of the nerdy girls huh?
Her: (Laughs and shakes head) Naah, I don’t think so. I just work hard, I guess.
What about you? What did you take?
Me: Umm..Business Studies, English Language and ICT
Her: Oh, okay. Those aren’t too bad.
Me: (Smile) Yeah, they’re alright.
Me: So..what were you doing at the petrol station. Isn’t [her school] far from here?
Her: Yeah. I was actually just at a friend’s house. So I came to the petrol station to get a taxi and go home.
Me: Ahh okay.
Me: (I ask her whether she knows these two boys that moved to her school from mine)
Her: Oh yeaah! They moved like a few days ago. Do you know them?
Me: Yeah, they used to go to my school. We hang out once in a while
Her: Oh, that’s nice!
Me: Yeah, it is.

(This goes on back and forth for a while. Me asking her, and her asking me whether we know certain people from each others’ schools, attempting to see just how many friends we have in common. The answer was a lot!

Her: So, how come I haven’t seen you around much?
Me: (Looks away) Oh..erm, I don’t really go to a lot (any) parties.
Her: (Slightly shocked) Really? Why not?
Me: (Laugh) ..I dunno, it’s just really not my scene. I’m not the ‘party type’
Her: (Laughs) Ohh okay. ...Well, you should. They’re fun.
Me: (Laugh)
Me: So, do you have any brothers and sisters?
Her: Yeah, I have one step brother in London.
Me: Oh, that’s nice. Are you close?
Her: Not as close as we’d like to be, but yeah, I guess we are...What about you?
Me: Oh, I have two younger brothers.
Her: Aww, that’s cute!
Me: (Laugh and slight blush) Yeah
Me: So, I’m guessing you’re going to Rugby 7’s (big sporting event)
Her: Of course! ..Are you?
Me: (Nod) Definitely!..
So, what team will you be supporting
Her: Well, my dad’s from England, but my Mum’s from Scotland, so I don’t pick sides. (Laughs) I just go for both.
Me: (Laugh) Ahh okay. Cool.
Her: What about you?
Me: Oh..(Shrug) I just go for the free drinks. And I cheer any team that plays England..(possible neg?)
Her: (Laugh) Hey, that’s not very nice!
Me (Laugh) I’m only kidding. I really cheer for any team. I just go to have a good time.
Her: (Nods) Yeah, I can understand that.
(Notices her figure)
Me: Do you play any sports? Like netball or swimming..
Her: (Smile) I’m not really the sporty type. I mean..I do ballet. And I used to be on the netball team.
[ Me: Oh, that’s cool.
(Her phone starts to ring, and she picks it up. My heart beat gradually decreases during this, and i’m able to wipe the sweat off my forehead as she looks away and talks. I gather my nerves. I plan what I have to say, and anticipate her getting off the phone. And before she can even give me a chance to preparer my next line: ..)

Her: Sorry about that. And yeah, I guess ballet isn’t too bad. Are you very sporty?
Me: Not really. I ride motocross, and I’m on the football team
Her: (Nods and smiles) Yeah, I should’ve guessed. All the guys at your school are football crazy!
(Both Laugh)

Me: Yeah, that’s true.
(She starts to name a few guys from the football team, and we talk briefly about them)
Me: Do you know [name] and [name]
Her: Yes I do! We hang out quite a lot on weekends.
Me: Ohh, that’s cool!

Arrive at her house

Her: Well thank you for the cab ride.
Me: No worries. Thanks for keeping me company (smile)
Her: (Laughs) It was nice to meet you
Me: Nice to meet you too.

And I spent the rest of the journey going through the whole thing over and over, analyzing what I did wrong, how I could have done it better. Kicking myself while I was down.
I know for a fact, that the possibilities of that journey could’ve been endless.
I could have walked away with a number or even an e-mail address.
Nothing.
Not even a handshake.
How does one even go about recovering from this?
I can’t help but assume that she thought I wasn’t interested in what she was saying, because my responses were far from engaging.

Lesson learned

Believe it or not, girls do not think of themselves as superior to you. Their aim is not to shut a guy down, because they enjoy it. Or, ignore you or seem disinterested in anything you do or say, because they are better than you. I learned, in fact, they are just as, if not more friendly than a male stranger. They want a conversation. They are more than willing to chat to you. After all, what’s the harm in conversing to a person nice enough to start chatting with you?

I think the only reason that I realized this, is because essentially, she was trapped in the cab, until we arrived at her house. What was she going to do? Jump out the window to avoid chatting to me? As opposed to simply walking in the other direction if we were, for example, at a party.

A simple ‘hello’ or a gesture of kindness, such as a cab ride, could get you that one step closer to your goal.

Always smiles. Because even if you do not say much, or fail to make much eye contact, a smile at least reassures her that you are engaged in the conversation, and are having a good time.

Be more evaluative with your answers. ‘Yeah’, ‘Oh, okay’ and ‘cool’ are just not enough. Trust me, you will run into so many awkward silences, you’ll be the one that feels like leaving, just to ease the tension.

Eye contact. In this...half hour journey. I think I successfully managed to look her directly in the eyes, making her look away first, possibly 3 times. What happened in between this? Well, I would feel the urge to avoid her eye contact (piercing blue eyes do not many it any easier) and would look at her when she looked away, then when she looked at me, I’d look at the driver, then the seat in front of me, then outside my window, then outside her window, down to my feet, then back to her face..Oh god!, she’s looking, then look away. A horrible continuous cycle.

To end, I would like to say, I have great respect and admiration for all of you. It is one thing, to read what is written on here; the tips, techniques, success stories and motivational quotes etc.. However, it is a completely different challenge, putting this plan into action, and using all that you have gathered on the website, into a Pick Up. I left my house today, feeling equipped with all the possible information there was. Half way through that cab drive. My brain had turned to mush, anything useful had been forgotten. I instinctively did many things that I knew should not be done, yet did them anyway.

But all in all, it was great to get back in the game. FYI, my last girlfriend was nearly 4 years ago. So, kind of easing back, slowly but surely.

_________________
Just Do It™