I'm in high school, have been dating a girl for a week.

and by dating i mean declared the relationship a week ago.
thats how highschool "dating" work now a days.

we havent kissed yet, and i know we have to soon so...

i asked her on friday in school if she wanted to come hang with me at the mall on saturday, she said she had to go do something with a club and she had to take an essay test. Both of which i believe are completely legitimate, because she has been carrying around a huge psat text book for the past week.

she said she would ask her parents and then text me.

well i never got a text, we never went to the mall, and we havent talked since friday, and it is sunday morning.

what should i do? how should i approach this?

if i ask her about it and she says she forgot, what do i do then?

i dont want her thinking she can just flake on me, and i dont want her thinking im needy.

First of all, stop pretending like she's your girlfriend. I don't care what kind of childish status quo your high-school has adopted, it really makes no difference, she is not your girlfriend as long as you have to wonder about this kind of shit with her, and until she introduces herself to other people as your girlfriend, and until you have actually been dating for a while...and "dating" is the plural of going on a date, so it refers to the time period spent between your first date and your last date, which hasn't actually begun yet.

Stop thinking of her as if she's your girlfriend, changing this mental attitude will help. She said yes to you once, good start...that means you have a chance but it doesn't mean you can start taking it for granted that she'll say yes, yes, yes, yes...

Something you did must have caused her to lose interest. Probably she picked up on the realization that you thought she was already in the bag, and this caused her to freak out and want to keep her distance.

Being that she is in your school, that means you have opportunity to see her in person, and this is a huge advantage. It is much much easier to repair a situation like this in person rather than over internet or phone where she has the power to terminate conversation at any time.

Basically what you have to do is wait until you see her. Act completely nonchalant about the fact that she blew you off, laugh about it, and say that you were so busy that you were thinking about putting it off also, so you're actually glad she did. Ask her what stuff she was up to and be happy that she had a good time. Tell her about some of the stuff you did, which should probably be more fun than whatever lame shit she was up to, and this make her jealous and wish she hadn't blown you off...whatever you do, do not put pressure on her to go on another date right away. Instead you want to subconsciously pressure her into asking YOU on a date, by making her feel good and comfortable around you. Giving some specific compliment about her dress or something, being confident, and giving good eye contact, or finding excuses to touch her in a non-awkward way, will help.

Good luck little bro...

I respect and appreciate that reply. Trust me, I don't really take this relationship seriously yet, I only dtr d so that way she can be viewed as some serious social proof for future girls(lookwise at my school she's a 10). I did figure out though that she does seem much more attracted to me when I am social proofing myself


instead of talking to her and asking how her day is doing(I did that before asking about the mall.). I will focus more on my friends then her for now on.

as for her not texting me, I completely agree with you and that's what I will do.

I still have one question though. how long do you think I have before she loses interest because I havnt kissed her. I know I need to do it soon, but it's hard and awkward to isolate at school because her intentions always seem to be talking to her friends. I think I will social proof myself until she is really attracted and working for my attention then isolate and kiss then. she is a virgin, but has kissed guys before if that has any affect on how long I have her interest.

Don't focus on the kissing aspect. When the moment is right, you will know it, and before that moment, it's not worth thinking about (it's also not worth thinking about at the exact moment, when you just have to do it without thinking).

By the way, if you are ever worried that she might reject your kiss, there's a really simple way to find out. Make physical contact first. When you are talking to her, you can touch her arm..when you are walking with her, you might be able to touch the small of her back. Before you kiss her, you could brush the hair out of her face. If she lets you do that, she'll definitely let you kiss her.

The only thing you should be working on now is flirtation. In a high school setting where you already have a pegged status, its obviously difficult to do that if shes with a bunch of her girlfriends who are not really in your circle. I'd say just look for opportunities when she is with less people where you can approach and try to strike up conversation, start working her over.

I am loving your way of thinking. thanks about the kissing tip, I feel much more relieved now.

but as for the flirting thing,

you see we are in the same social circle, I don't mean to sound arrogant but I'm alpha of the groups, all the guys follow me, the girls come to me. once again not trying to sound arrogant

the funny thing is, she became obsessed over me while I gave her no attention, because I was trying to get her friends to like me as a friend to use them all for social proof, so I mainly targeted her friend because she was alpha female, I didn't know in turn her friends would fall for
me!

so think I should continue to talk to her friends and when she starts fighting for my attention reward her with kino and every once in a while throw in a little tease.


I think the problem was once I had dtr d with her, I started giving no attention to her friends and gave all of it to her. thanks for the help man, i think Im all sorted out now. now it's just time to initiate my plan >:)

Well then, it sounds like the situation couldn't be more perfect. In that case, do your flirting in public in front of her friends. Flirt with the friends in front of her, give most of the attention and physical contact that she wants to her friends so she gets jealous, but reserve more of the eye contact and glances for her. Eventually when it's time for class or whatever, and the group dispells, you could just hold her back...tell her you've been missing her and want to hang out (it's ok to say this since you were just neglecting her a minute ago in front of her friends), hell it might be a good time to kiss her right then even (if it is, you'll know it..dont force it).