| So I went back to the bar where my jacket was lost to pick it up. Plan and frame was to get into a convo with the barkeeper and build relations to him for the next visits. Plus maybe look around for sets.
The club was totally empty except a 3F set close to the bar, consisting of HB6, warpig and HB8. They were real posh and acting like it, and I made the subconscious decision that I do not really want to know them. HB8 also looked even more posh up to her perfectly made up teeth so I did not make her a target in my mind.
I can’t stand posh chicks, but according to PUA logic, every situation is worth playing. So I consider that initial decision a little mistake.
Got into a nice convo with the barkeeper, however the jacket was not found. Standing around between the convo parts was a decent comfort challenge.
Warpig tipped her glass and spilled her cocktail all over the girl’s table, barkeeper brought fresh one and asked me if I wanted to invite the ladies on a shot. I refuse in a friendly way and say that HB6 owed the group a drink. Of course she tried to clarify and I say she looked so guilty after the glass was tipped so that’s why I thought she did it – put some life into our convo this way. Barkeeper offered to give us all a free shot, HB6 offered to sit to the group.
I accepted, but sat there with pretty low energy. I wanted to build the convo in a relaxed way, I did not want to be the high energy guy who tries to qualify for six critical-looking eyes. Warpig started questions in police interrogation style, where I’m from, where I work and stuff. She said that that does not sound like I enjoyed it and she imagines it’s boring, I said that I see no need to explain all my passions to strangers right away (=non-approval-seeking). Got into a short convo with HB6, she casually told me they lived nearby, in one of the most expensive streets in this town. The BFs of the two obstacles arrived. Boy, were they beta, the circle did not even open up, they stood behind their GFs.
Meanwhile, HB8 tried to interfere a couple of times and was real positive. I changed back to the a$$hole part of the group a couple of times and then sticked with her. Now she was really playing me, asking me about my stuff, what I do, qualifying me (I casually dropped some info on my job’s highlights after being asked), getting private (stories about her brother, I added stories of mine), BL escalation, selling positive things about me to the group (again, it was not ME seeking approval) and stuff. I remained in my frame and kept telling that I have to leave soon cuz I need to get up early tomorrow for my next business-related flight. We talked about her studies and what she wants to do and found out that an internship at the place where I work could be an option.
So I closed with “well if you’re interested, you get info on w.w.w./xyz...” and she’s like “OK, but can I please get your mail address”. Sure, I had HER type my address to her iPhone and then cross-checked it.
Posh little HB8 had turned into a really nice, interesting, friendly person.
Gave a friendly goodbye to warpig making a little fun of her (“it was short, but hot and heavy with the two of us”) in front of her BF, she was losing her alpha frame for some seconds, we all had a smile, and took HB8s hand twice during saying goodbye.
I would not sell that as a success story. There were many coincidences, and I was lucky that the situation did not lead to a blowout.
Lessons Learned:
-I need to be more flexible with my goals and frames, but stick to them and be congruent once I made up a decision
-I need to eliminate excuses – every set is worth playing it. I need to train to show congruency even If I don’t like the set from the first impression. I was not congruent here – I sat down with people I didn’t really like.
-3sec rule: upon entering, I could have opened the set with “have you seen the barkeeper?” I went looking for him instead. But I'm not sure - that's what everyone who hits on girls like these would have done. Doing my thing and withstanding the comfort challenge can make you look like a weirdo, but it can also make you look different in a positive way and could be more congruent with prizing, where YOU get picked up be the girls
Guys, seriously, I could hardly sleep tonight cuz I kept thinking whether I could have been equally successful in this environment by using a non-prizing approach. This would mean to compete against shitloads of young Porsche drivers that pay for their GFs asses all day long and also vibe a lot of positive energy and tell exciting stories of their fabulous lives without being asked.
However, the blowout risk was high, and I was lucky that warpig and HB6 were distracted by their loser BFs at some point.
I would be happy to get your feedback.
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Pain is temporary
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CHAT