What does it mean to be true Alpha



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PostPosted: Tue Sep 27, 2011 7:12 am 
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i completely agree with threadstarter. Matter fact PM i would love to get in touch with you and discuss this topic, since i share the same sentiments as you.

Weirdly enough, I found that I was most alpha when i took martial arts. My biggest fear is that I would get beat up. So to the dude who said the most important thing is that he can relate to everybody, I believe that knowing self-defense and how to fight is important, because honestly, believe it or not, if you backed down from a fight because some dude was completely douchebaggy, and he made you apologize to him in order to not fight and your girl sees that, her primitive side would much rather fuck the douchebag, as sad as that sounds.

I'm retaking karate again because I need my confidence to come back up.

Bottom line is, learn not to harm others, but learn to harm those that attempt to harm you.


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 27, 2011 7:13 am 
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i completely agree with threadstarter. Matter fact PM i would love to get in touch with you and discuss this topic, since i share the same sentiments as you.

Weirdly enough, I found that I was most alpha when i took martial arts. My biggest fear is that I would get beat up. So to the dude who said the most important thing is that he can relate to everybody, I believe that knowing self-defense and how to fight is important, because honestly, believe it or not, if you backed down from a fight because some dude was completely douchebaggy, and he made you apologize to him in order to not fight and your girl sees that, her primitive side would much rather fuck the douchebag, as sad as that sounds.

I'm retaking karate again because I need my confidence to come back up.

Bottom line is, learn not to harm others, but learn to harm those that attempt to harm you.


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 27, 2011 12:45 pm 
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just take a look at james bond. he is a perfect example


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 27, 2011 1:24 pm 
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FcTw3S_l74c

David DeAngelo nails it watch every part!!

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PostPosted: Tue Sep 27, 2011 2:52 pm 
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I think you forgot the most important part, real alpha's never tried becoming alpha - they just are.
Excellent! So i got hired at this firm and i got into a fight with the top guy, so this was before discovering the community, and the owner say "is because the 2 of you are the alpha males of the group",
Very interesting. You think that getting into fights with people on the workfloor is alpha behaviour. I don't know where you were working at nor where or what you take your cues from, but in my environment, luckily behaviour like that gets you canned. In your posts you seem pretty cool and confident, so that's great, but I'm curious about the extents of your self-proclaimed alpha-ness. Don't take offense, I'm genuinely curious because it seems I have a totally different view.

In my view, alpha behaviour (even though I hate the term) is productive for others around you and in the best case society as a whole. So I can't help but wonder, how does anyone benefit from your little brawl (which was verbal or physical, doesn't matter. I didn't really get that however I dare venture a guess...). Maybe our definitions of what is alpha behaviour just don't match.

In any case, I think it's silly that on a site which aims at self-improvement to have as a communis opinio the idea that being a d*ck and buttFrosting your fellow man is an ideal state of being (even deeply satisfying on an esoteric level). In that deAngelo vid, the guy at the beginning who is praised by mr. D and "dominates" the conversation is a fool who says shit which sounds profound to some but is really not very. I scrolled through the video a bit because there was really no interesting conversation going on there whatsoever. In real life, I tune out people like that and where possible help the other people in the conversation tune out of such unproductive situations also. Someone like that will score few points with many and none with me, but I'll agree it looks cool on the TV sceen! He doesn't laugh at the other male's jokes but does laugh at the women's jokes (which are not funny(er)) and you can clearly see in his manner that this is totally conscious. Is this a way to get people to do shit for you, much less to like you? We just see a clip of 3 minutes but the other people probably deal with this guy every day. If his boss were me, I doubt he'd have much of a career in front of him. Anyone who is remotely solid will deem this kind of behaviour in their direct environment (as opposed to on a screen) totally undesireable. Just to be clear I have nothing against deAngelo and the man in the 2nd video was a perfect example of what I would consider "alpha" behaviour within the context of the situation.

Rude, obnoxious people gain traction with some because they seem confident, but they are incapable of carrying a normal conversation and it is equally impossible for anyone to make a long-lasting actually meaningful human connection with this kind of fool.

Enfin, I would say that ppl reading this thread for confirmation on how to be alpha (which by the way is in no way something you are born with) should look at Lodewijkp's definition of what being alpha is (it actually is much closer to a definition of self-actualisation/happiness than "alpha", which is a dumb idea in itself as I said) and less to the other examples I've mentioned in this post.

My €0,02 on the topic of alphaness.


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 27, 2011 3:28 pm 
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I think you forgot the most important part, real alpha's never tried becoming alpha - they just are.
Excellent! So i got hired at this firm and i got into a fight with the top guy, so this was before discovering the community, and the owner say "is because the 2 of you are the alpha males of the group",
Very interesting. You think that getting into fights with people on the workfloor is alpha behaviour. I don't know where you were working at nor where or what you take your cues from, but in my environment, luckily behaviour like that gets you canned. In your posts you seem pretty cool and confident, so that's great, but I'm curious about the extents of your self-proclaimed alpha-ness. Don't take offense, I'm genuinely curious because it seems I have a totally different view.

In my view, alpha behaviour (even though I hate the term) is productive for others around you and in the best case society as a whole. So I can't help but wonder, how does anyone benefit from your little brawl (which was verbal or physical, doesn't matter. I didn't really get that however I dare venture a guess...). Maybe our definitions of what is alpha behaviour just don't match.

In any case, I think it's silly that on a site which aims at self-improvement to have as a communis opinio the idea that being a d*ck and buttFrosting your fellow man is an ideal state of being (even deeply satisfying on an esoteric level). In that deAngelo vid, the guy at the beginning who is praised by mr. D and "dominates" the conversation is a fool who says shit which sounds profound to some but is really not very. I scrolled through the video a bit because there was really no interesting conversation going on there whatsoever. In real life, I tune out people like that and where possible help the other people in the conversation tune out of such unproductive situations also. Someone like that will score few points with many and none with me, but I'll agree it looks cool on the TV sceen! He doesn't laugh at the other male's jokes but does laugh at the women's jokes (which are not funny(er)) and you can clearly see in his manner that this is totally conscious. Is this a way to get people to do shit for you, much less to like you? We just see a clip of 3 minutes but the other people probably deal with this guy every day. If his boss were me, I doubt he'd have much of a career in front of him. Anyone who is remotely solid will deem this kind of behaviour in their direct environment (as opposed to on a screen) totally undesireable. Just to be clear I have nothing against deAngelo and the man in the 2nd video was a perfect example of what I would consider "alpha" behaviour within the context of the situation.

Rude, obnoxious people gain traction with some because they seem confident, but they are incapable of carrying a normal conversation and it is equally impossible for anyone to make a long-lasting actually meaningful human connection with this kind of fool.

Enfin, I would say that ppl reading this thread for confirmation on how to be alpha (which by the way is in no way something you are born with) should look at Lodewijkp's definition of what being alpha is (it actually is much closer to a definition of self-actualisation/happiness than "alpha", which is a dumb idea in itself as I said) and less to the other examples I've mentioned in this post.

My €0,02 on the topic of alphaness.
no fight, fighting, fight as in bumping heads, disagreements, no physical.. Donald Trump like...Due to the fact i do not kiss ass, and you put two leaders in a group, hard sometimes to come to a conclusion if you know what i mean. I did not say i was alpha the owner did, i had no idea what it was.

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PostPosted: Tue Sep 27, 2011 3:36 pm 
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Quote:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FcTw3S_l74c

David DeAngelo nails it watch every part!!

Excellent, he is right on the money, dominance... i forgot that one!

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PostPosted: Tue Sep 27, 2011 4:09 pm 
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no fight, fighting, fight as in bumping heads, disagreements, no physical.. Donald Trump like...Due to the fact i do not kiss ass, and you put two leaders in a group, hard sometimes to come to a conclusion if you know what i mean. I did not say i was alpha the owner did, i had no idea what it was.
All right, cool, I misunderstood that part about the fight. But then you ignored the part where I asked you how having disagreements/fights is helpful to you or others, which is the point of my post. So your response really doesn't add anything but a few more reasons of why you think you are alpha and like Donald Trump.Wouldn't you say a group with two or more people fighting over control has no real leaders (and thus probably diminished direction and productivity) until that conflict is resolved in a resounding way?

Also yes I understood your boss said you were alpha and now it is you who says so implicitly, among other ways by agreeing with his observation and imagining yourself much like Donald Trump.


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 27, 2011 5:17 pm 
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no fight, fighting, fight as in bumping heads, disagreements, no physical.. Donald Trump like...Due to the fact i do not kiss ass, and you put two leaders in a group, hard sometimes to come to a conclusion if you know what i mean. I did not say i was alpha the owner did, i had no idea what it was.
All right, cool, I misunderstood that part about the fight. But then you ignored the part where I asked you how having disagreements/fights is helpful to you or others, which is the point of my post. So your response really doesn't add anything but a few more reasons of why you think you are alpha and like Donald Trump.Wouldn't you say a group with two or more people fighting over control has no real leaders (and thus probably diminished direction and productivity) until that conflict is resolved in a resounding way?

Also yes I understood your boss said you were alpha and now it is you who says so implicitly, among other ways by agreeing with his observation and imagining yourself much like Donald Trump.

Look, is ok to have disagreements but do not misrepresent my points. As i said in my opinion a true alpha displays, dominance, leadership, confidence, and do not kiss ass, most aplhas by nature engage in a lot of confrontation because of the fact that they do not kiss ass, they are not yes men, for example Donald Trump(is an example). I can careless if you think i am alpha or nor, i don't even care, i was trying to make a point, that a lot of people in the community, try so hard to be alpha they look ridiculous, and as much as i like Mystery, he is a good example of someone trying so hard to be alpha, when clearly he is not. By the way the fact that some people considered me alpha, has brought me more harm than good believe it or not.

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PostPosted: Tue Sep 27, 2011 5:35 pm 
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5 - Alpha actions - Study animals, what do alphas do? how do they act? They provide, they keep safe, they take care of needy
Alphas in the animal kingdom beat the crap out of the other males in the group then fuck all the females. In our society they'd be thrown in prison.

Human Alphas are more social alphas. They are natural leaders and people are drawn to them. Alphas are in charge of their own lives and don't look to others for approval, others look to THEM for approval. Their frame is powerful and unshakable, they have strong personalities.

You can't really learn to be Alpha but you can learn to maximize your own natural Alpha traits.

Excellent!

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PostPosted: Tue Sep 27, 2011 6:13 pm 
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no fight, fighting, fight as in bumping heads, disagreements, no physical.. Donald Trump like...Due to the fact i do not kiss ass, and you put two leaders in a group, hard sometimes to come to a conclusion if you know what i mean. I did not say i was alpha the owner did, i had no idea what it was.
All right, cool, I misunderstood that part about the fight. But then you ignored the part where I asked you how having disagreements/fights is helpful to you or others, which is the point of my post. So your response really doesn't add anything but a few more reasons of why you think you are alpha and like Donald Trump.Wouldn't you say a group with two or more people fighting over control has no real leaders (and thus probably diminished direction and productivity) until that conflict is resolved in a resounding way?

Also yes I understood your boss said you were alpha and now it is you who says so implicitly, among other ways by agreeing with his observation and imagining yourself much like Donald Trump.

Look, is ok to have disagreements but do not misrepresent my points. As i said in my opinion a true alpha displays, dominance, leadership, confidence, and do not kiss ass, most aplhas by nature engage in a lot of confrontation because of the fact that they do not kiss ass, they are not yes men, for example Donald Trump(is an example). I can careless if you think i am alpha or nor, i don't even care, i was trying to make a point, that a lot of people in the community, try so hard to be alpha they look ridiculous, and as much as i like Mystery, he is a good example of someone trying so hard to be alpha, when clearly he is not. By the way the fact that some people considered me alpha, has brought me more harm than good believe it or not.
I certainly did not misrepresent you, I merely repeated a few things you said literally and some implicitly. Unless you want to say that you don't think of yourself as an alpha person, in that case I would be mispresenting your views. I also didn't say anything about whether I think you are alpha or not. It's not important to me and I can't know anyway because I don't know you well enough. I was trying to make a point also, which is that I disagree with your notion of alpha-ness. I was just trying to figure out what your idea of being alpha truely entailed and if it is helping you to be that way, out of curiosity, and I guess you've answered that.

It seems to me like there are multiple definitions going on in this thread and I think it is interesting to determine which is "the best". Like I said, I think Lodewijk's definition is totally solid and will in any case bring more good than harm.

On a sidenote, nothing wrong with kissing some ass if it's not internalized behaviour and it helps you advance your goals. Better than looking for conflict which often is a difficult way to get ahead.


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 27, 2011 6:19 pm 
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haaa! look a an example, but yes in my opinion being alpha comes with the negatives, a lot, an example is Donald Trump, not a lot of people like him, but in my opinion true alpha:



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HErSOdiNFMU

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PostPosted: Tue Sep 27, 2011 6:52 pm 
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haha, well thanks. That gave me a chuckle... This isn't a political forum so I won't go into what he's saying but suffice to say if you take that stuff seriously and you think this guy is a rolemodel of any kind we can't do anything but agree to disagree.

If anyone wants an example what I think an alpha guy looks like:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ijn-NZmB ... re=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dN6Z1EnQg3E


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 27, 2011 8:44 pm 
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haha, well thanks. That gave me a chuckle... This isn't a political forum so I won't go into what he's saying but suffice to say if you take that stuff seriously and you think this guy is a rolemodel of any kind we can't do anything but agree to disagree.

If anyone wants an example what I think an alpha guy looks like:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ijn-NZmB ... re=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dN6Z1EnQg3E

I do not agree with him politically, but he is alpha, the guy you posted may be not that much of a good sample though. I was thinking look at your boss at work, most people probably will not like him... Usually manager, bosses, owners alpha.

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PostPosted: Wed Sep 28, 2011 7:14 am 
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The concept of the importance of ALPHA, I don't understand the obsession. Alpha is over rated, it is ridiculous that so many people put all these thoughts into Alpha. Alpha is just another meaning for confidence in yourself and your position in life.

A quick thought on Alpha: In most cases Alpha is per environment, if you came to my world I would be the Alpha, if I went into your world you'd be the Alpha of your world. Example: An Alpha Construction worker isn't alpha around doctors and businessmen, and likewise doctors and businessmen aren't alpha amongst Construction workers.

Behavior Nature AND Nurture

The problem with saying our Family made us Alpha is that you are saying they are responsible for some of our behaviors, and while that is true from some perspectives what about the people who are adopted and yet some how turn out just like their parents they never met(mannerisms, personality, and all)? Or identical twins who have the exact same genetic make up with different personalities?

Behaviors are part genetic and part learned. Some people are just more anxious, which is obviously not an alpha behavior, but it is chemical in their particular case, risk aversion is higher in their particular genetic make up in some cases.

Change our Behaviors

We can learn to modify our behaviors so that we are confident, and an enjoyable human being to be around or become "The Man" as I like to put it where everywhere you go you are remembered. Being liked and loved by people can be a learned behavior, it is all up to you to become "The Man" and develop the tools you need to become that person.


Thoughts on Violence

It certainly isn't Alpha to fight, be rude, or show head strong moments, it shows a serious amount of confidence to control your emotions in stressful moments. Losing control of yourself shows you have not control at all, people don't listen to people who can't control themselves.

Confidence the Only thing Alpha's "have"

Alpha is merely another statement for someone who is perceived as confident, can you think of one person who is considered Alpha and isn't confident? Confidence is what you should strive for and stop setting your mind on becoming Alpha, simply look to become a confident you and you will come across as "Alpha".

Be Humble

Learning to be confident in most situations is quite the attribute, but it is always best to know when you should secede(show some humility it is a very large part of charisma) to someone so you can learn. Confidence is a trait of a powerful human, it makes you seem Alpha, more importantly it makes you realize Alpha is a personalized concept, meaning it is whatever value you guys want to make it. True confidence is the ability to be submissive in the correct situations and listen as the TS implied. Be Humble and you will show true confidence, and charisma.

Sorry for the long post. Alpha is such a ridiculous thought for me, it is an unfortunate thought to want to become Alpha, how can you become a confident YOU if YOU are trying to be something else?

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